My son is 18.He is very disrespectful.He thinks everybody should cater to his needs.He only helps out when he wants to.He has a girlfriend,she doesn't have a phone,so he lets her borrow his an then he has to have mine.Fusses when i need it.My husband an I argue about him quite often.I'm sick and tired of this.I'm ready for him to move out.I Love him,but a person can only take so much.Why do I have to put up with it.If my husband hits him,my son hits back.My husband loves him too.We just want him to open his eyes.He will not make it own his own.He lacks quite a bit.I just want Peace,is that so much to ask for?
Dear Angry Mother, Sorry to hear about the stress you and your husband are having with your son. Tho I am 51 and never had kids of my own,I can just offer suggestions and tell you what I did when I was his age. First of all,how is he doing in school? Is his grades okay,does he have many friends? When I was his age I had alot of friends,grades weren't good because I hated school and my life,was depressed alot. But I know boys aren't much into writing as girls are,but I did alot of journaling. Also what if you asked him if somethings bothering him at school,or with friends; and tell him :" Your Father and I love you and are just concerned about you, if you wanna talk were here for you and not to judge you or get angry about your needs,we wanna help you." Have you discussed family counseling? Or just counseling for him? Have you talked to his girlfriend,if possible, find out how he treats her, explain to her that your concerned about him and see if maybe she could talk to your son. But see how he treats her, and see about counseling would be my best suggestion right now. With all these shootings going on in the news and media....its hard to decide what to do. Or perhaps talk to someone you and your husband feel you can talk to ....Pastor of a church, guidance counselor at school to help in this situation. Maybe his girlfriend needs to get her own phone too, if possible. GOOD LUCK !!
If he's 18 he really should be in university or working or something. Being waited on by parents won't make real life any easier for him...Do you still make him dinner? Don't. Eat with your husband and tell your son he should be practicing. Does he put his things away? If not, I'd say casually put anything he leaves on the floor in his room for him to clean up. Even if he left out an empty bowl from cereal, set it in there so he can see his own mess.
Don't do anything angrily, but perhaps start treating him more as if he were a roommate.
Just do as much as you can to make him see that everyone needs to pull their own weight, especially when your 18.
Just say no, or "sorry honey, I have to do something else" Calmly, casually. No more catering to his needs.
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