Hello. After all these years I would like to know how all this turned out.
Our 15 year old daughter just broke up with her BF (16). We adore him and are heartbroken. He woke up everyday to just make her happy.
She is a mature and thoughtful young lady. High honors student, varsity sports, class officer and volunteers her time. She isn't a partier and never gets in trouble.
As silly as it sounds, I'm fearful she will never meet another A+ guy who won't hurt her. -
I have shed many tears. Pathetic but true.
Any advice?
That was a perfect love story ever I read :)... Well, you are to supportive to your daughter and has a good parenting advice for being a mother to her daughter. Actually, I don't have any questions about it instead I admired the story.. thank you. :)
I was just reading your post about your daughter and her breakup with her boyfriend...it was posted in 2008, but I am courious how it all played out for you, your daughter, the boy,etc.....I have a 15 year old who is very mature, hates drama and has been dating a darling, 15 year old boy for just over a year....We thought we had it all under control with limiting their time together, meeting the parents etc. He became one of my kids and I love this boy like my own. Same story as yours, lovely family, but parents divorcing, BF tied up in that and my daughter jealous of other girls in BF life. They had a really nice relationship for a long time, but he babied my daughter and she became a "jelly fish" without the strength to take care of herself- she relied on him for strength and he gave her that until he couldn't any longer....I truely do believe that they are in love....I know people think it can't be so at 15, but I don't agree! The delema now is that they decided to break up for now so that she could get her feet under her again, hang with her girlfriends, get out there and socilize again. I am worried because she is a beautiful girl and a lot of boys are attracted to her because of this...I can already see that her phone and Facebook are coming alive with boys who know what happened and want to "Hang out" Her Xboyfriend also sees these posts and warns her to be careful and is really sad that she is so available now....He still wants to be with her, but they both know she needs to regroup and find herself again. I am grieving this relationship ending...I do understand it and I am trying not to influence her in any way and just standing by to guide her. The other side knows what a great boy her x is. He is so sweet and I trust him with her. He seems to know what teen boys can be like and warns her. She is so upset about the breakup it kills her, yet she seems stronger by being alone too.....It's just so hard to watch and feels like such a loss.
I think you should call both of them to meet and listen them carefully and patiently what they think or what is running in both's mind. what they know/think about realtionship.. treat them very politly.. they and you will be fine.... actully they have an infatuation with each other.. you have to techle them practically.. this kind of realtionship does not run with this it should be run with love, understanding, practicality...
you try to do this then you will see it will work.. perfectly...
still you need any assistant.. feel free to contact me with this blog.. i will be there for you...
Oh my gosh, i read your post and your situation is so similiar to mine except my daughter is 21 and he is 22. I totally spoiled him and he became like part of the family...i thought i was crazy until i ready your post. I have read other similiar post on other sites and this is normal for moms of daughters. You helped me realize i am mourning and not crazy.. please let me know how you feel now. Thanks!
Kids (and your daughter is still a kid) will fall in and out of "love" all the time. The truth is she has no clue what love is, its all part of her learning and growing experiance. She will have lots of heartache (if she is lucky) You learn from it and gain more respect for yourself along the way! Let her go mom.
Gracious. I have three teenage boys, and girlfriends come and go. You like some, you don't like some others, whatever.
A break up of a relationship with a 14 year old is not a death.
Honestly, I think you need help. This kind of thing mothers just sign and go on with life. If you can't get over this, you need to seek help and release your daughter from the burden from you grief over this "death" of a youthful crush relationship.
I think you feel as if you have really lost a family member. There was a little girl my son liked - I am not kidding - in 8th grade- and my dream was for them to marry..... they broke it off and he kept telling me she wasn't the little sweetie pie I thought she was..... and I just had to trust him- and give him credit for noticing.....
I think what you did is perfectly normal. You actually FELT what your daughter felt. (and then some/) A child and their mother of course bond early when mom is holding her infant, so your response to grieve for both of them and their loss is understandable.
I think what you are feeling is in some ways similar to divorce- a brokenness/
What the teens did was to break up and move along- their brokenness between them is starting to heal- You want to know another reason it is healing so quickly. Because they very likely were not sexual partners. THAT is what usually makes a girl so distraught after a teen breakup. Celebrate that-----
You are a good mom- Perhaps look up "divorce stages" which include anger, denial, etc etc and when you see these are normal stages you may be able to flow thru them a tiny bit easier. I will not however, tell you to take it easy and quit your crying because this is SOOO real to you..... you just have to mourn.