Do Tell my six year old her dad is not her biological father before I introduce her to her half brother?

I have a six year old daughter and the only father she has ever known is my husband, but he is not her biological father. My husband has raised her since she was three and her biological father makes no attempt to see her, but will not sign over his rights. Her biological father has three other children and the oldest boy is asking his mother about meeting his half sister(my daughter).

My problem is I'm not sure if I should explain to her my husband is not her father and her half brother wants to meet  her. I fear that she is too young to understand, but I don't want to wait to long either because I don't want her to think we have been lying to her. I am so confused as to what to do!!

[April2]

Yes, you need to tell her about her father first but be very, very careful how you say it. You might want to find a book or talk to a counselor first to see the best way of telling her. I'd say take her aside and hold and hug her and both of you get down at her level and talk to her about how special she is. Tell her she's so special that her daddy now fell in love with her and wants to be her daddy forever but that she has another daddy, one she never met and that he had other children. Tell her that he doesn't want to take her away from her daddy now and that no one can ever take her away from her daddy now because he loves her so much and want's to always be her forever daddy but that you just wanted her to know this and that she has a half brother if and when she's ready to meet him, but he's not going to live with you, that he just wants to meet you and get to know you.

She will have questions. Be very careful to constantly reassure her how much she is loved and that no one will take away her daddy, that he will always be there for her.

Again, I suggest you talk with a counselor who specializes in children and these type situations and get a professional's opinion on the best way to handle all of this.
I wish you all the best.

[SeriousSam]

Why did you not encourage/force the issue with your ex being involved with his daughter?

[vreynolds]

I did force the issue with him. I tried and tried to make seeing her as easy as I could for him, but he chose not to see her. I called him almost everyday for a year and a half to see her and be in her life, after trying and not getting a response I stopped trying. I can only do so much. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.