Fear

My 12 year old daughter expresses fears at night of things like earthquakes, fires etc, which, when I asked her, she agreed is the fear of death. She also said she fears that my husband and I may die and said she can't live without us. As far as I know, she doesn't have any stresses in her life and our family is pretty secure. I have reassured her both that it's normal to feel these fears, that it's ok to feel them but that they're not rational. I explained why the fears are not rational but she's still susceptible to them. Is it a common fear for a child this age - the fear of being separated from us by hers or our death? Is there anything more I can do to help cope with this fear? It's not debilitating or interfering with her functioning but it makes me sad when she's scared and feeling vulnerable and I'd like to help her feel more secure.

[JadeyyWadeyy]

Hi,

I'm 16, and at your daughters age I went through the EXACT strange thing. When I explained them to the doctor, he told my parents to limit what I watch on TV. for example, movies such as Armageddon, Dante's Peak and Tornado.
Also, any documentaries on plane crashes or any sort of death.

Children of that age tend to overthink certain things. Instead of just thinking 'Oh people die in earthquakes', children of that age will think "Oh, people die in earthquakes. What would I do if there was an earthquake right now? Oh I might not be able to move, I might die. What are the statistics of there being an earthquake right now. oh quite low. But it could happen and I wouldn't be prepared"

Its their way of 'preparing' themselves.

Your daughter isn't fearing ALL death, just the things that she can't control. Is your daughter one of those children who likes to be in control of her own life?

Also, i was being bullied when my fears came in, and it may have tied into that.

Don't worry, it's just a phase in her growing up, it will be gone in no time, but if these fears are ReALLY bothering her, take her to see a psychologist or your GP, it will make her feel better if she hears it from someone proffessional.