How Can I Help My Grandson who has a Criminal Father?

[selmagirl]

My almost 17-year-old grandson has grown up with his Mom, a single parent, and his grandparents (myself and my husband).  He has expressed to his girlfriend that he wonders if his father ever thinks about him.  He wonders if he will ever meet his father.  Unfortunately his father is a criminal who is incarcerated for 20 years for dealing meth.  Under the circumstances, I don't know if it's better for him to know the truth about his father or not.  He is presently studying genetics in his biology class and I am sure it has raised questions in his mind.  I don't want him to think that he is doomed to repeat his father's behavior or that he is a "bad seed."  He is old enough and smart enough to research his father on the internet, so I guess eventually he will find out.  What can we do to help him deal with this?

[margypops]

I believe this child has the right at his age to know the truth about his father, and make his own choices as he gets older whether he wishes to visit or be with him, his Dad will have paid his debt to society, and may be a changed man, so to deny him a chance to make amends seems harsh. My opinion is you choose your words and tell him what happened let him decide make sure you do not influence him either way. Has his father asked about him how he is doing how is school,I always thought that visitations wre allowed for famly so I am surprised he hasnt seen or heard from his Dad.or did family make the choice of keeping him away?