Parenting Teens (12-17) Community
How close is to close
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting teens (age 12-17), including physical, emotional, and cognitive development, handling peer pressure, activities & sports, choosing a college, and relationships.

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How close is to close

My boyfriend is really close to his 18 yr old...they snuggle on the sofa has they r a pair..he sleeps in her bed sometimes...is this wrong or am I just paranord....plus she walks around in her bra and boyshorts...
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3183999_tn?1344649018
All I can say is that my husband would NOT be comfortable sleeping with our daughters or having them walk around in their underwear when they are 18 yrs old.  Our girls are currently 6 and 9 and they love to snuggle with their Daddy, but that is completely age-appropriate.  Last year our oldest asked my husband why he doesn't wear a shirt to bed...and he has not gone to bed without a shirt since then.  He is very respectful of the fact that they are GIRLS and that it is his job, as their father, to teach them that they have the right to expect EVERY man in their life to respect that fact.

So, I am going to say, in my personal opinion, I feel that your boyfriend has not set appropriate boundaries with his daughter.  This is, again, just my opinion - not knowing them personally at all.  If he did not have primary custody of her growing up, their snuggle time may have been something that they did to help maintain a bond.  If they still snuggle on the couch with you in the room, I doubt that it is anything inappropriate - or they would hide it.  However, I don't see why he would still be sleeping in her bed (I am assuming you mean with her in it) OR why she would walk around without her clothes at her age.  

The other thing that came to mind reading this is that the daughter may be trying to assert herself as the primary female in her father's life since you are in the picture.  

I have one final thought...and I don't want you to be offended in any way, but do YOU think that your BF may have crossed lines with his daughter when she was younger?  
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3110545_tn?1343312248
jatink what your bf and daughter are doing is wrong but i don't think that there's something weird (sexual) happening between them because they are bot hiding it from you or anything
i think they have a problem in setting boundaries and that's the reason why they don't have a problem sleeping in the same bed
i agree with  TuesdayPatience his daughter thinks of you as a threat and she wants to be the main female in his life but i don't think your bf has crossed lines with his daughter because if he did she would be repelled by him and you would have noticed that there's something wrong whenever they are in the same room
i'm 22 years old and i have 2 sisters 17 and 26. my 17 year old sis and i where very close and we still are but the day she turned like 14 i changed stuff in my behavior when i'm around her like i knock on doors before entering especially if she might be undressed ... because i want her to know that she deserves to be treated with respect by everyone especially me
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