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How to handle 14 year old dating
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How to handle 14 year old dating

My son is in 8th grade and recently started going out with a girl in his grade. We have a close family, husband and I are happily married. My son has had a pretty easy life, really. This girl's parents are divorced and according to her best friend's mom, "she's been through a lot and is very mature for her age."

I found out they were texting each other quite a bit, and when I looked at our phone records, there were over 5,000 texts in one month! Fortunately we have unlimited texting, but seriously....5,000? That's insane. When I took his phone, he had none on there and claims he has to delete them or the phone's memory fills up. BS. I purchased software to install on his phone and monitor texts. Even if he deletes them, I can see them. Within 24 hours of monitoring (I scanned the texts for certain words and if they didn't catch my eye, I glazed right over them), I found out he's seen her naked! He rides the bus to and from school with little time to spare. I can account for everywhere he goes. He has not been home alone recently (they've been seeing each other just a couple weeks). We live out in the country and she lives in town (about 7 miles from us). So they don't live close enough to sneak out and meet up. I think she must have sent him a picture or gotten naked during a Skype conversation (I found out about his Skype app recently). I don't want to blow my own cover about monitoring his texts but I don't know what to do with this information. I know he would see it as a serious violation of privacy, but clearly there's cause for concern here. Any advice?
2 Comments Post a Comment
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2006473_tn?1406314977
Obviously this one is tricking. If you tell him you saw the picture then you point out that you don't trust him. Have you or your husband had "the talk" with him? My mom did with me when I was younger and she was very honest about things and so was my dad. You are going to have to sit a talk with him about girls and dating and how a "good" young woman behaves and how a "not so good" young woman might behave. I vote you keep what you know about the texts hush but discuss things and maybe make that an example of a not so good girl's behavior. If it becomes a bigger issue maybe he isn't ready for dating. Technology has changed dating and being a child a lot but you have to stick to your guns about this one.
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13167_tn?1327197724
I'm not quite sure why everyone is tippy toeing around this whole thing.

You have every single right to view his texts or anything else you pay for.

In the blink of an eye,  this girl could get pregnant.  For kids this age,  the act takes,  like, 1 minute.  

Stop being so afraid to offend this child!!  Rely on your husband for this.  Men tend to be better at "manning up" than mothers do.  

Someone needs to step in here.  As a mother of older kids,  you will be SO SORRY when this girl is pregnant that you didn't just act like the parents of this child.  

I don't mean to sound clueless here - two of my sons have misdemeanor criminal records and I would give anything to have just manned up and not allowed this to happen on my watch.
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