In need of advice

Hello Everyone,

We are a blended family, we have four boys ages 13,12,10,7.  We just started being able to get my step-son every other week instead of every other weekend, since then I have noticed a change.  My step-son has done things to intentionally make his older brother seem stupid, or silly in front of kids that he goes to school with.  He likes to put him down, and this is new for me.  I have done my best to try to be as involved as I can be.  My husband just noticed all of this behaviour and was very upset with it.  He called his ex and spoke with them about it and she seems to think that it is all the fault of our oldest and that my step son has really done nothing wrong.  The final straw was during our son's birthday party when my step son apparently was doing things to his brother while he slept and some of the kids told us because of how utterly disturbing it was.  I can understand a joke, but he was doing things that we just plain mean.    My step son has been maniuplative with his mom and dad/ he will play it from one parent to the other, and he will also get his two younger brothers into trouble, or pick on them and try to tell everyone it was their fault.  I am not sure how to handle this I refuse to treat him any differently from the other kids.  Not sure what else I can do to try to ease this situation before it goes any further

[Cherie762]

he must be very intelligent to manipulate so many people, he may be crying out for attention, id say he jealous of big brother, write up a contract and make him sign it , if he breaks the rules in contract he losses item he loves and privlages, if he follows all rules for a week he gets a special one on one time with desired parent, I would not reward him with things.

If this fails you will need family therapy how unfar tobrothers who are trying to blend and make this work.

[mato4]

He is a very intelligent boy, I love them all dearly and as I said have never treated him any differently than the other kids.  We just had mom and our boy over last night seems that we are now all on the same page.  (Ma finally decided that collaborative parenting wasn't a no option deal with us.)  Now we are going to be working together to figure this out.  Thank You for the suggestion.  We have decided to start some therapy at the school level and see where that takes us.