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My 13 yr.old son is smoking pot
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My 13 yr.old son is smoking pot

i don't know what 2 do anymore. We live in philadelphia & my son's friend was brought home by the police the other night with over $70. in his pocket & 1/2 of a blunt. i found out that when my son was searched they found nothing on him so they sent him on his way. i figured that if he is haning with kids that are dealing & smoking pot then he is most likely doing the same thing. i started 2 sneak up on him when he was in his room & check up on him when he says thta he is going somewhere.  The other day, i could smell the weed from the landing just below his room so i burst in on him (not giving him a second 2 ditch his joint/blunt) i caught him red handed with a blunt lit in his hand. he is a kid that bottles his feelings & only talks about surface things, so when he started crying & telling me that he has been smoking because he is so depressed i believed him & told him that i will take him 2 the doctor's & 2 counceling & if they think that he needs medication then we will deal with it. Today when i went in2 his room 2 put his clothes away, there was a $20.00 bill sticking out of a can so i opened the can all the way & found 6 little baggies filled with pot. he told me that they are nicks & dimes. He also claimed that they are his personal stash & he swares that he's not dealing. This time i didn't believe him. i'm afraid. i did take it off of him. i threatened 2 take him & his drugs 2 the police, but i am afraid that they will arrest him, what do i do? i asked him who he got it from & he will onl;y tell me "some kid". i'm afraid 2 flush it, because if there is a chance that he owes money or that he is dealing 4 someone, i don't want him shot, i'll give them thier drugs back. i am a single mom & we have a protection order from my husband/my son's dad, my son grew up in a violent home with a drug addicted father. As soon as we were able 2 escape we did, my son has had a hard life for only being 13 (going on 14 @ the end of august) he testafied against his father recently, he attended the funeral of my younger brother, who ironically died from his addiction (drug overdose) on 2/26. what do i do? how can i save him before its 2 late? he has a severe learning disability, in fact he just graduated 8th. gr. with a 4th. gr. education. he is active in sports, he plays both football & lacrosse, he is very good @ both sports. i am scared 2 death, i don't want 2 loose him 2 drugs. What do i do?
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13167_tn?1327197724
Frannie,  I feel for you.  I have three teenage boys,  and this is hard.

First,  no one is going to shoot him over this amount of pot.  What they will do is realize they can't sell to him anymore because he has a strict mom.  His drug using friends will stop supplying him so you won't find out they are using and dealing and call their moms.  

Second,  don't go to the cops.  That will give him a juvenile record and juvie probation and at this point he doesn't need that. If he becomes completely out of control - combative,  violent,  that's the time to do this.   Not now.

He's reaching out to you for help,  I think.  

GREAT that he is good in sports and successful.  Those boys on those teams are unlikely to be using,  if they want to be competitive,  so keep him in that.  

Does he have a cell phone?  I've drug tested my kids and they have to pass to still have their phone.  If you act like you are on his side,  and are hurting for him,  and empathizing with him,  I think that's the best approach but drug test him so he can continue that privilege.

All is not lost,  frannie.    What you need to do is get together with the moms of his friends and form a united but supportive front.  

Been there,  done that,  have the grey hairs and sleepless nights to show for it.  

Best wishes.

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1369527_tn?1278394178
This isn't the type of situation that there is any "one" right answer to. I can very much relate to your situation. I'm a 37 year old woman raising six children...ages ranging from 17 to 7! I haven't had that problem with my children as of yet,but I myself started experimenting with marijuana at the age 20. My mother found out,and I denied it to the fullest. Being that it was 17 years ago when it happened, things haven't changed that much....U know the saying "The more things change the more things stay the same." I don't still smoke marijuana because I have children now. This is what I'm trying to say to u...My mother begged and pleded with me to stop using marijuana because she believed as many others believe that marijuana is the gateway to hardcore drug addiction. Having said that, you mentioned that your son has already been exposed to some of the devastating effects that drug abuse carries. I think that you should stick to your guns and follow through with the counseling,make your son aware of the fact that you will even go so far as to have him tested for drugs(home kit)at random...and you decide the consequences if he fails. Last but not least you need to tell him you love him repeatedly.
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13167_tn?1327197724
199,  I agree with what you say and if marijuana were legal for adults,  I'd be fine with it.

As it is,  children who smoke pot limit their friends to other kids who are not achievers,  and they risk a criminal record.  

That's two strikes.  I do everything I can to keep my kids off pot so they are associating with achieving friends, and aren't in juvie.
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1369527_tn?1278394178
Will you please read my post? I need some input on my situation. Thanx.
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Avatar_m_tn
well back in the day you nohere in lasvegas nv 30yeares ago ther was 30000in vegas i am a singerl dad with a 15 year old son he allso likes to smoke pot.i tell him its afeleny here in vegas and i would rather have him smoking at home not in the street.he does not drink or do other drugs,it is a faze teens go threw i no i did it back in the day.i dont give him money for pot and i tell him stay foces .he is homeschooled and cant be hi doing pot.he does not smoke doing homeschool.ps.keep talking to your son about the down fall of pot and pray alot k
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2121121_tn?1334929458
It's vital you nip this in the bud immediately.  Take his stash and hide it in a really good place if you don't want to get rid of it right now.  Do not allow him contact with his friends - any friends - by phone, social media or face to face.  Communicate nicely with him; let him know what you are doing and why.  My son was recently caught smoking dope - and he is 16.  I am also a single parent, so I know it's hard.  I took him out of school because of his depression, and I have banned him from contact with any friends, except church friends an activities. I am helping to heal and build him up this year, and next year he will resume studying.  But I took away social media, his blackberry, etc.

The result?  He is a lot happier and thriving.  He is changing into the man he should become because he doesn't have the influence of bad friends around him.

Please, please be firm with him.  For his sake.
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