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My son won't give me his Facebook password and I'm considerin...
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My son won't give me his Facebook password and I'm considering homeschooling.

My 11 year old is in 6th grade. At my 11 year olds son middle school and elementary they allow cell phones during times when the students aren't learning such as during lunch time or when there is a substitute teacher. Kids let other kids use their cell phones. 7 months ago, I discovered my son borrowed a cell phone to create a Facebook when he was 8. I confronted my son about this. He admitted to this. I even saw posts on other websites during school hours connected to his name and on his Facebook wall. I report his account daily and have multiple friends report his account daily since the day I discovered he had a Facebook, no luck. I also demanded his password. He wouldn't give it to me. I explained to him why I wanted his password (predators, bullying) and his father showed him a Dr. Phil episode about a girl being raped by a man she met on a cellphone with internet and how cyber bullied kids committed suicide. I had him sit at the dinner table until he gave me his password. He sat there all day Saturday and Sunday. Then I tried other consequences such as taking away TV, computer and friend privileges and he still didn't give me his password. I told the school not to let him borrow cell phones and he didn't listen to them and they gave up after 3 months. They gave him lunch and after school detention and he took cell phones and didn't give them up he was using them in detention the school tried to grab them from him and the school gave up after 2 months. A month ago his teacher was absent from one week because she was feeling sick. During that week, my son watched rated movies with friend's cell phones. I know because he even told me what they are about. He doesn't use the internet in my home unless it's for homework. Even if he did, he wouldn't log onto Facebook. I reported his account daily upon discovery and had friends report it, no luck. The district said they cannot keep out cell phones so they "compromised" and allowed kids to use cell phones during times when they aren't learning such as during lunch time or when there is a substitute teacher in all their schools. Private and charter schools in my city do this too. My son will find a way to sneak in a cell phone and he already has done that they took away 5 cell phones away in 1 day from him but they put him under strict supervision but they said they can't supervise him like that every day nor can they supervise him 100%. Every day when he comes home he just sits at the corner every day until he gives me his password and he sits there all day doesn’t watch TV, use computer or go to friend's homes he just does his homework and on the weekends. This went on for 4 months and is still happening.

It has been 7 months overall he still hasn't given me his password. What should I do?
4 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
What do you mean you reported it? Do you mean you reported it to Facebook? Cause I remember seeing something in the help section on Facebook about deactivating your child's Facebook without a password. Have you tried looking at the help menus on Facebook? I don't think you need to be logged in to look at that because if you need help and can't access your account what good is the help menu going to do?

Other than that I have to say that at 11 he is going to want to do what all his friends are doing. Kids are followers and not leaders at that age. It sounds like your already tried to take away all of his "fun stuff" so I'm not really sure how else you should proceed at this point.

Whatever you decide just remember that when a parent forbids their child to do something it more often than not becomes more intriguing and interesting to the kid so I'm not sure that going to all this trouble with the Facebook isn't having the opposite effect that he wants one for himself no matter what just because you said no. Kids can be so weird about that stuff sometimes!
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3110545_tn?1343312248
i totally disagree with what you're doing ... he's a kid you can't keep him in a bubble there's predators everywhere so keep him home no school or anything he'll be safer ...
look what you're doing is wrong you should help him learn how to deal with problems and how to use the internet in a responsible way ... if you keep it away from him he's just gonna find another way to get what he wants ...
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13167_tn?1327197724
I can't imagine a dad not being able to get a password out of an 11 year old.  

My husband,  who has never hit my sons would have no trouble whatsoever extracting that kind of information out of him if he lived here.

It's really immaterial whether you deactivate his account,  he'll just set up another one.  What IS important is that you somehow get a handle on this child while he's 11 or he will be doing drugs right in front of you when he's 15.  

The school's behavior about makes my hair catch fire.  Our schools take up phones if they see them,  and the parent has to come to the school the next day and retrieve them for $20.  You don't see cell phones out.  For the school to just "give up" on enforcing a rule because he's insisting on breaking it baffles me.  

Where does he get all these phones?  He sounds so completely and totally out of control that it makes my head spin.
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Avatar_f_tn
wow do you guys punish him at all?? tell him you'll homeschool him so he cant get on facebook and tell him hes not allowed to go to his friends houses.. cause it sounds like a very rebellious child, if i didnt listen to my parents you better believe i got my *** wooped im 19 and i have 2 jobs and getting ready to go to college i didnt turn out bad from getting spanked every now and then
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