Sexually Aggressive Child

Question

I need some help on this one and any advice that I can get. I have a 14 year old son who has touched other children that are younger than he is. I am a single mother and rasing both my children on my own with some help from my mom while I am at work. I found out when he was 12 that he touched my cousins little girl I put him into therapy. Then just last year he touched my best friends little girl. And just today I have learned that he has had oral sex with my younger nephew. When I found this out I slapped him across the face. (which made me feel like ****) but it was a reaction from me. He acts like its really no big deal and I don't know how to make him understand that it is a big deal.And yes I found out that he touched my daughter and I went crazy. This is very hard for me. I have talked to my mom about this I told her that I wanted him out of my house. But it is very hard because he is my son. I am not sure as to what to do about all of this. He told me that he thought that he was bi-sexual. I don't care about that I just want him to stop doing what he is doing. I don't understand why he is doing this. I have tried not to leave him alone with younger children but it seems to still happen. He is really not a bad kid except for this. I love him dearly and its killing me inside. There is no one that I can turn to about all of this. I have researched on the net and I am going to talk to his dr.(therapist) first thing monday morning. But if there is any advice from anyone please give it.

ravey2040 · Answer

Talk to him about it and don't stop talking about it. We humans can become addicted to the excitement of secrecy. Ask him who sexually abused him. Discuss the consequences. Bring it into the open with a therapist. Ask a trusted lawyer to sit and chat with you both about the legal implications. Find ways to have him develop an understanding of the problematics of his current behaviour and that he's fixating his developing sexuality in a dangerous arena. At 14, he cannot grasp the concept of long-term consequences so it's up to you to educate him. You could also search for treatment programs for youth sexual deviance/offenders. A last resort is to remove him from the home. Working with social services now is a much better option than visiting him in prison later. Track and monitor him openly and transparently. Let him know that he cannot be with younger children until he is safe to do so. Best of luck to you. You obviously care deeply about your son.

JC1974 · Answer

I am not pushing this off. Right after I posted this I talked to his dr. they have now put him into a hospital and started him on medications that we are hoping will work. And yes he was messed with when he was 3 years old. I am doing everything that I can to help him. Thank you all for your advice

April2 · Answer

Not only that, but he must be kept from children at all times! What he is doing is a crime and can traumatize any child he comes into contact with. The safety of the children must come first. They are too small to be able to protect themselves. You may need to consider sending him to a reform school or something because you can't watch him all the time. He needs psychological counseling and fast. It worries me that he sees nothing wrong with any of this. If this continues into adulthood, he will prey on children and you won't be able to do much at that point. You need to do something now while he's a minor. Talk to the Psychologist first and see what he recommends. I wish you well.

phil · Answer

In my opinion your son is crossing the line.  He needs to get some help, if you can't afford private counseling start with his school's psychiatrist. 

Don't let this go and push it off.

Phil