Telling Son about Biological Father

I'm new to this forum and could really use some advice. My now husband and I were dating back in 92, and we were on a "break" and I slept with a guy.  I told him about it and we moved on.  A few weeks later I'm pregnant.  My husband and I had been together 1.5 years and no pregnancy, I'm with this guy 1 night and I turn up pregnant.  The dates pointed towards the other man.  I told both men the situation, my husband decided that we would continue with our plans to get married and raise the child as ours.  I told the other man this and the last thing he said to me was I'll see you in court and I never heard from him again.  Our son is 15 and a very good boy and looks very much like the other man.  My husband has had a hard time adjusting to him being a teenager (backtalking, lack of respect) and it's starting to really be an issue of parentage for him.  He doesn't want to not be his father, but he feels it's time we tell him the truth.  I'm scared to death to tell him.  We never had a paternity test and that is our first step, but we all know what the test will show.  Should we tell him?

[road2recovery]

Wow, i have no idea what i would do...I would talk to a counsouler and get a opinion on that one...That age is a bad one..i have four kids, and when they all hit 15 it was terrible, good kids just going through the motions i guess...Right now my son is 16 and he is doing the same thing...I don't know if this would not push him over the edge, because he is still a kid who does't know what his body is going through..
i really wish i could give better advice, but if it were me, i would wait until he was a bit older...

[miscdesign]

wow, I would talk to a counselor too... teenage years are so very tough.  I agree with Road, I might wait till he's a little more "mature" and able to handle it as well.  Good luck to you whatever you decide.

[crywolf1]

I am very new to this forum and I just wanted to share with you my experience with my little brother. My mom kept the secret about his real dad from him for 26 years and told him my dad was his. my parents were separated at the time and my dad was with another woman apparently she had a fling and my parents got back together for a while not long though she ended up pregnant and my dad was at the hospital and the day my brother was born he swore he wasn't the father my mom wouldn't allow any tests to prove otherwise though my dad was more than willing soon after they were divorced and my mom recieved support from my dad for years. My dad would come to visit he lives in illiinois for the past 15 years now. he came to visit at least three times in the past 5 years and all 4 of his kids and hisself wanted to have my dad and brother tested. my mom would always talk my brother out of it?? Finally a few years ago my brother of 26 agreed to get it done my dadf was more than willing to pay for it. Even though I had a feeling the whole time that wasn't my dads son I kept it to myself!! finally revealed that my brother has another dad and was basically lied to along with all of us. He is really screwed up in and out of rehab and keeps talking about how my mom lied all these years, and she did know. I can't tell you that she is responsible for his choices but it didn't help. I don't know what you are waiting for as he might resent it and maybe not the choice is only yours. sorry such a long one I should just write a novel! hope this wasn't to much too.