Unfocused Son

My son never got in trouble in school but was always moved right next to the teacher to keep him on focus of what the class was doing. He would read ahead or draw pictures. He always had is own sense of right and wrong when he was a toddler we would have to pat down his pants because if he liked a toy he would try to sneak it out.  He would paint on walls, pee in boxes so he wouldn't have to walk to the bathroom.  

He looses his clothes, books, homework. He is very creative and a great athlete.  When he is tired he chooses to not do homework or to not get up. He makes everyone late. He is in high school now and he is failing and will not be able to play sports. We punish and take away things but it doesn't work.  He knows he will be removed from the team but he still his forgetting homework loosing textbooks. He doesn't understand when I ask him to do something I mean now. He waits till the last moment and looks at me like I am from another world.  He has been on the honor roll in lower grades and can do the work but his grades have always been up and down.  Now he has three F's. He know the importance of high school grades but nothing his ever his fault.  The teacher did tell him.  He wasn't there.  He forgot the back of the page.  He thought it was do next week. The teacher doesn't know how to teach. He doesn't seem to feel how this his affecting me , his siblings and our life.  He has been to the guidence counseler.  At this point his personality can not be changed but can his drive to do better? Will he ever feel how he is making others feel?  Life seems so negative.  How will he be able to be on his own in college or hold a job if he does everthing at his own schedule?  Can he get counseling to help him understand why he does the things he does and how it affect others? Should I talk to our doctor or the school? I know teenagers can be hard.  I have an older and a younger son.  They have there moments but it is not a never ending struggle.

[RockRose]

Does he know what he wants to do with his life,  Lark?  That's a huge turning point and motivator for boys - when they discover their calling.  Both my older boys - now in college - didn't become motivated to succeed until they figured out what their passion was,  and realized they had to work hard to get into college and the major of their choice.

Sounds like he needs direction.