My son and his girlfriend have been dating for 9 months exclusively. He (they) have asked me to buy condoms for them as they intend to have intercourse. My only concern is that her parents are very, very over protective in the sense that they have repremanded her for kissing, never mind having sex. That said, I was once a kid and am realistic. I know that if they want to have sex, they are going to have sex no matter what I say or do. I have spoken to both of them at length on numerous occasions and it IS going to happen. I guess I am glad that they are comfortable and smart enough to think about protection before they do it, but I do feel a bit like I am betraying her parents by purchasing condoms for them. Any thoughts?
You don't say how old they are. That would make a difference. I don't think I could ever be comfortable buying birth control for my kids because I feel that would be telling them it's ok to have sex when I don't feel it is, especially when they're so young. There are many, many young people choosing not to have sex so it CAN be done. It's called self control and respecting their bodies and knowing they are not emotionally, physically or even psychologically ready for such a huge step that can huge repercussions and damage their self esteem, among other things. Condoms are not fool proof, either. The only true way to not get pregnant or get an std is to abstain, period.
And yes, I imagine her parents would be very upset if you were participated in this as they would rightly feel betrayed by you, the adult, in this matter.
And this "over protection" thing they have with her may not be such a bad thing. It shows they care. That's better than letting her run the streets and not know or care what she's doing.
Have you talked to them about waiting and how it can make things better to wait? There's no repercussions from waiting but plenty from making that very adult decision and step. I waited till I was much older but even then regretted losing my virginity for the wrong reasons with the wrong guy. I wish I would have waited till marriage now. It's a huge step that you can carry with you for the rest of your life.
I love your answer, RockRose.You're right on. Kids today want the pleasures of being an adult without the responsibilities. I think they need to wait and grow up some more. It's sad that kids today don't seem to understand how to practice self-control. How in the world did our grandparents do it?
if her parents don't even want her daughter to kiss and if you go out and buy them condoms...you're going to be opening a big ol' can of worms.
rockrose and margypops are both right.
if he's not man enough (or she's not woman enough) to go into a store and buy their own condoms with their own money they don't need to have sex. and if her mom and dad don't know about this or approve of it you need to stay out of it. if that upsets them, oh well. he's your son, not your friend.
Yes I would buy condoms for my son if I knew that he was going to have sex, just like I would buy him a helmet if he was going to get a motorcycle. I don't know how old your son is, but he's mature enough to talk to you about his relationship and he's been with his girlfriend for over 9 months. I'd make sure there is ample supply of condoms in the medicine cabinet, just in case. You're doinf the girl's parenta a favore, because if they oject to kissing, they'll object even moe to pregnancy.
Yes, I would buy my son condoms but then beg him not to have sex (unless he is 17 or 18 years old.) Kids are going to have sex, it's a matter of when. And wouldn't you want him to have safe sex? If you don't buy the condoms and then she gets pregnant you sure are going to be regretting your decision.
Let us know what you decided. Your post is a few months old so just curious how the situation turned out. Thanks!
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