constantly disagree on EVERYTHING

Ok people ...need some "advise/help here.....been married 20 years to a wonderful man/father we have a 13 soon to be 14 in 2 months year old son and as of December 2009 has taken a huge interest in skateboarding. He has traded in the Xbox for it -which... makes me very happy to see him out of the house- . I know from my own past experience as teenage tomboy that sprained ankles, LOTS of scrapes and bloody hands and back in 80's bloody knees scrapped to the bone from makeshift ramps. Now days they have the elbow, knee , wrist and every other protective gear on the market. He does not go to the local skate park very much -he mainly skates in our neighborhood and I have talked till I'm all talked out when it comes to wearing just the helmet. THEN, yesterday dad strolls in from work, I was pulling in from grocery store and once again there he is, showing off a new trick to dad WITHOUT his helmet!!!  I saw RED!! Then to add insult to injury, dad says  in front of him might I add.." I really understand how our son feels...if "I" had to wear a helmet riding my motorcycle then I would just sell it".  My quick rebuttal to THAT was " He is still a CHILD- our CHILD and until he is 18, WE still have a say in his life especially when it comes to saving it"!!!  I DON"T care what the other moms do!!!!
I went on a few web sites looiking for  statistics of the dangers of NOT wearing one, tried reading aloud to both of my "boys" and I just feel as I told him, (husband/dad) that I don't feel he has my back on this issue??? It makes me very sad that my son fights me on something so minor...I could make him wear all the gear but I don't due to the fact he isn't jumping makeshift ramps... (Yet).
What makes a man feel it's a "right of passage" for their sons to do as they did growing up? Times are not the same. I am 42 and he 44. We have a very loving, understanding parenting agreement and have always disciplined him when needed, in other words we have always had each others back and never undermined one another due to the respect we have and are trying to instill in him. We have kept lines of communication open, talking out what necessary steps we need to take when it came to ANYTHING from homework to friends. I am open for any ideas/advise???

K. R.

[RockRose]

Going2Win - your post doesn't match your title.

Do you want to be clearer?  

It sounds like you agree on everything except this one issue - the helmet.  

And I think you're right.  Put your foot down.  If you catch him boarding without the helmet,  the skateboard gets locked in the trunk of your car for a week.  He only has one head and neck.

[Going2WinN2010]

Wow...I didn't realize I would get advise on how to properly post post...but thanks for taking the time to do so.

[RockRose]

I'm not trying to make you defensive,  I'm just pointing out that you are making contradictory statements,  which is helpful in my life when someone points that out.  

If you're trying to solve a problem in your life,  it's important - at least in my life - to clearly understand what you're trying to fix,  and look at it with a fair perspective.

When you title a post that you disagree on EVERYTHING and then go on to say you never ever disagree except on this one thing - and you're right about the helmet concern - it's just helpful to step back and re-look at your perspective.

It's not like I'm correcting grammar or spelling.  I'm pointing out that you are expressing two exact opposite opinions in the same post.

Best wishes.

[suexoxo1]

I am a nurse and my son skateboards everyday at the skatepark next door.  I have worked with many children that have suffered SEVERE head injuries from skateboarding.  I pop in at the skatepark randomly, and if my son does not have his helmet on, AND buckled, I will take the skate away.  My boyfriend is also a firefighter/parametic, and last week ran a call on a 14 year old skateboarder vs car with sever head trauma that had to be flown to childrens hospital.  Tell your son and your funny husband that its not a joke when you smash your head on the concrete.  It is only going to take one time.  My son is 15 and has been skating since 9.  He falls all the time trying to do scary tricks on stairs, ect., but the one time he wants to be the "cool" guy will be the time that something happens.  Its not a joke.  I see it at work. Trust me you dont want to be the parent visiting your son everyday whaile he lays in a bed like a vegetable the rest of his life.  I know they want to look cool, and the worst part is that none of the other kids are wearing helmets.  I let my son pick out his helmet, even though it was expensive, I know he will be more apt to wear it.  YOU make the rules.  Its not funny when someone gets hurt just because they didnt want to be safe!