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minors having sex
I just found out my 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend of 1 year are practicing safe sex.she has birth control implant ; having gotten my permission to do so with the commitment she didn't want to pursue sex in high school.  She claimed falsely that it took friends up to 6 months to adjust and if this birth control didn't work well (side effects) she wanted time to go the pill route before getting to college. I believed her..what she really wanted was to have it in place in time for her 1 year anniversary with the boyfriend.  This just fell in may of her junior year...in my state it is illegal for teens to engage in underage sex.  I don't morally feel comfortable with her engaging in underage sex.  Are there any parents out there who share my views? Even my husband isn't that upset..i am fuming.  Partially because she lied and mislead me; manipulated my trusting nature and took advantage of my faith in her honesty.
Parents who share my feelings and perspective how did you handle it? My daughter will be back in town after camp in 2 weeks. She confirmed that she and bf are not breaking up and I didn't ask them too. I want to limit her alone time and prohibit her from being alone in his truck with him as best I can...
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13167 tn?1327197724
Rock0Star,  what you're saying kind of doesn't make sense.

No one starts on birth control implants 2 years before they plan to use it.  You must have known,  honestly,  but didn't want to face it.  

Even if it took her 6 months to adjust,  that still gives her a year and a half before you thought she might be using it.  If you honestly,  truly thought she wanted to be on birth control 2 years before having sex,  I think you might want to review your process of thinking this through.  

On the other hand,  I think it's smart that you didn't tell her to break up with him.  If he's a nice,  positive boy in her life,  she's growing and blessed to have him.

What's done is done,  Rock.  I can understand you not feeling comfortable condoning her sexual relationship,  and not providing a private bedroom for them,  but i don't know how you can keep them apart at this point.  At their age it takes about a minute to have sex,  literally,   if they want to.  

Best wishes.
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I was naive and work nights at 2nd job.my husband is home every night but his perspective is more laid back...we have 2 daughters and her same age sister went on pill for acne at 15..it came out in feb.that she has had sex twice , once at 15 and once this year..she is wild and has no boyfriend.  The girls , both adopted as toddlers, are totally different personality types. I was just surprised the responsible one wasn't straight with me...but then she has always known my moral view and indicated that while she was going to wait till 18 she saw no problem with all her friends in committed relationships having sex.
I've said she can have bf over to family activities but she he ignores those comments.  Maybe boy is afraid of me as I sent nasty text to him after things unfolded. I've since apologized. Daughter says he is mad at me.. (I said to her that he is not nearly so mad as I am) because of this heated atmosphere she only wants to go back to the way things were b4. I said you can't go back and that I'd have never let her spend so many long days with him if I had an inkling sex was on the table...he is upstanding young man and devoted to his catholic faith.... i thought that meant no sex . I trusted him too.
As an older mom (mid 50's) I had serious bf back in the day and in recall our times together. My first bf was at 15 yet in didn't have sex till 22. As I recall good boys were afraid to go too far and terrified of upsetting a girls parents.  Now days kids act like they are in drivers seat of family and parents are really are along for the ride...they act entitled..
Does anyone find their good kids caring on as though they run the family?  This girl is responsible and generally respectful but my values seem to mean nothing to her (she tells me this regularly)
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I'm with you. Read your comments on other post. Can't lower the bar. Have to love her and even though it is exhausting we have to keep the faith. I'm in the same predicament
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she lied for a reason, it's kind of obvious. you have given her a reason not to trust you. strict parents create sneaky children.
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13167 tn?1327197724
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Austin, TX