step son respect

[bluegreen3516]

My son has been a stepfather of a 14 yr old boy for the last 3 years, who sees his father on a weekly basis. They get along most of the time. The stepson has begun telling my son to be quiet or shut up when he is being disiplined. His mother thinks it's ok for him to speak in this manner and considers it normal teenage behaviour, and my son should not get so upset. She thinks it's ok because he's a good kid and doesn't do drugs .  My son does not disipline his stepson unless what the boy does directly affects him or their 3 yr old daughter. My son finds the boys manner to be very disrespectfull. He feels he can't ignore the attitude .He never spoke to us like that and won't be spoken to in that manner.  I don't like to comment on the situation, but our daughter in law calls us to say our son is yelling at the boy and it needs to stop.  When events like this happen the boy goes over to his grandparents house, because he doesn't want to be around his stepdad. My feeling is that there needs to be a meeting of all adults- grandparents included. Mother & stepdad need to agree on the discipline & have a united front, and not disagree infront of the boy. He should not be allowed to run to his grandparents because he doesn't like it at home. Would appreciate other opinons.

[StepDad]

I am A StepDad to a 13yr boy for 8 yrs now. I had the same situation with him and i did not tolerate the disrespect and put my foot down. My house my rules most of the problem stemmed from his Father telling him he did not have to listen to me. That his father was the boss of both families. I involved my wife and told her that i loved her and her son very much and would not tolerate it. If it continued and she did not help resolve it. They had to leave
it got resolved very quickly..
Tell your son to put his foot down and not tolerate that kind of behavior
good luck