My twin girls are always whinny and fussy,at home and in daycare. Their teacher told me that everyday they fall out and crys for about 10mins when they cant get what they want or dont get their way, they have been going to this daycare for a month now,even when i drop them off every morning they cry and fall out like its their first day at the daycare. they dont fall out at home because i will spank them when they do..but its like they do it where they know they can get away w/ it. or if they are w/ other family members.
i really dont know what to do because i dont want them to get removed from the daycare because of their behavior. should i take them to a therapist or what???? thanks in advance!!!
OK, well, I will try this once, but if all it does is make you yell at me, I won't come back. Spanking is a good way to make your girls whiny and fussy. Please read the following, which is from the American Academy of Pediatrics, the most respected authority on raising children in this country and probably one of the most respected in the world. I think that you are telling me that your parenting is perfect and you therefore do not need any parenting class, but the fact that you did not know this about spanking makes me feel there might be some teeny tiny thing here or there that you also do not know about parenting, and that possibly if you took a parenting class you would be able to unravel why your kids are always whiny and fussy. Here is from the American Academy of Pediatrics:
Parents often ask, "Should I spank my child?"
Many parents occasionally lose their patience or, in anger or fear, may spank their youngster. For instance, if a child runs out into the street, a parent may sweep the child up and, in a moment of anxiety for the child's well-being, spank her to emphasize the parent's sense of urgency or worry.
Spanking may relieve a parent's frustration for the moment and extinguish the undesirable behavior for a brief time. But it is the least effective way to discipline.
It is harmful emotionally to both parent and child. Not only can it result in physical harm, but it teaches children that violence is an acceptable way to discipline or express anger. While stopping the behavior temporarily, it does not teach alternative behavior. It also interferes with the development of trust, a sense of security, and effective communication. (Spanking often becomes the method of communication.) It also may cause emotional pain and resentment.
WHERE WE STAND
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child. If the spanking is spontaneous, parents should later explain calmly why they did it, the specific behavior that provoked it, and how angry they felt. They might apologize to their child for their loss of control, because that usually helps the youngster understand and accept the spanking.
Most kids are fussy at that age, they sound like normal toddlers to me. Im not going to say its "wrong" to spank bc its not up to me to tell you so. I myself have given a spank here and there (on the behind) to my kid, some people think its cruel and its not. Thats how the majority of the world is raised and most people are decent human beings.
Well frankly to me those that never "spank" are the parents with the crazy five yr olds stomping and yelling when they dont get their way -- in a public place.
Thx u soo much for the POSITIVE response..and u are sooo right,she's makin it seem like I'm abusing my kids,I'm not a perfect parent but I know my parenting skills are good,where I don't need classes.in the bible it even says its ok to spank ur kids. It will not hurt them if anything it will teach them and make them learn to obey. Yeah I guess they will grow out of it by time they turn 2..thxs again!!
I don't care if u come back or not,but don't post any comments or articles on my post telling me about my parenting skills and how to dicipline my kids..u would be the parent in public w/ ur child acting out kickin and screaming b/c u don't spank your child...
Okay, Mochame, I just read through the entire thread.
You're not getting this, at all.
Small children who are controlled through pain don't learn to behave. They only learn to behave with the person who will cause them pain.
When they are in an environment where no one will hurt them, they behave horribly.
You don't seem to want to understand and absorb this, but it's true.
You can absorb it now, or absorb it in years down the road. Spanking your children will make them behave in situations where they will be spanked, and will make them cut loose in situations where they aren't afraid of violence.
In 20 years, you'll get this if you don't get it now.
You are not a bad parent but rearing children can be tricky. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old. My partner believes in spanking and i do not think it is effective. I agree with Rockrose, my kids are dead scared of their father but not me. It is a good thing that they spend more time with me as they could easily get out of hand especially the boy. He is been spanked so much that he finds it difficult to just follow simple instructions without force( i have learnt to be patient-even when I don't feel like it). I reason with him and i understand that it is not easy to reason with 19 month old tots. When my son was 19 months I used to explain to him and just ignore him until he gets to his senses. Good Luck. Bad parents do not seek advice from parenting websites.
The thing is that the problem with the daycare situation is a direct result of the way this poster disciplines her children at home (rightly or wrongly, who am I to say?), as no daycare provider would spank some one else's children both the parents and the daycare provider need to be using the same kinds of methods to discipline the children; time outs are a good example of a non physical way of disciplining a young child and can be used in both a home and daycare situation with good results.
When there is a problem with a young child, such as acting out, I am a big believer in talking to an expert. Just as I would take my son to see a Dr. if he was physically ill, I would probably take him to a child physcologist if he was acting out in an inappropriate fashion. Young children cannot properly communicate what is going on with them, and there may be more to this then meets the eye. If my son was doing this in daycare, and not at home, I would be a bit concerned. Maybe have a professional take a look and see if there is anything more to this that you need to be concerned about.
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