2 year old Crying tantrums

My son has issues when he gets in trouble he cries uncontrollably. I don't hit him more often than not I may yell no, other than that I talk to him but he doesn't seem to understand he just smiles and wants to run away when I put him in time out he screams. Again it is as if her doesn't understand what I am saying like I am speaking a different language. He is 28 months. If you can help that would be great.

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, he is in the toddler years and they are known for being challenging.  Really, part of normal development in young children is testing their boundaries.  They get into things, they run away from you, they know you said no a minute ago and yet they just want to check to see if it is still no . . .   all normal.  They also don't have a good grasp of handling emotions very well.  So, crying is what they do.  How is his speech too?  Can he really explain to you how your yelling no at him makes him feel yet-----  is his speech good enough?  Probably not, so crying is a way of communicating with you.  Very normal and natural in a young child.

I would work on your approach and how you handle things.  First, when we talk about how little one's handle their emotions-------- we say they are immature at it.  But how are we adults doing?  Do we yell when upset, hit and go off?  If we are, what are we modeling?  Everyone is guilty of this from time to time but it is something to work on.  Staying calm and handling things firmly but without acting super mad is the way to go.  There are different theories on spanking.  I'm not for it myself---------- because I never saw the logic in "do not hit, so I'm going to hit you."  But that is for you to decide.  But remember, all discipline is meant to teach our kids and not to punish/hurt them in the toddler years (or any).  

With little ones when they are being difficult, it is great to offer them two choices.  Lots of choices on every little thing you can or well timed choices when things could go bad can head off a bad situation.  You are in control of the choices so it is not like he is running the show, but being able to feel a little in control himself will make him more apt to comply.  So------------ he wants a cookie right before dinner.  You say, you can have some apple slices or some banana------------ which would you like?  Give him choices.  Stay calm though.  

Remember that little ones have short attention spans and really, they get carried away.  They do not have great impulse control yet so they may ultimately know they can not jump off the couch but they are super excited and it just seems to happen.  Try to remember that they are learning and have a hard time controlling themselves.  

It's hard, I know.  But they leave these years soon enough and then you are on to a new challenge!  good luck

[KristenJJ]

It may be that he is embarassed or it may just be his personality.  I would try the next time he is in trouble telling him "I am going to give you some time to calm down...stay in time out."  Try giving him a little time to calm.  I would try this consistantly a few times before you give up on it.  After he is calm then I would try to talk to him.  Tell him..."we don't hit or we don't ...whatever it is he got in trouble for... you can go play now...please don't do that anymore...mommy feels sad when you do that."  

If that doesn't work send me a message.  I am a mom of twins and I also worked as a preschool teacher for 8 years.  So I do have a lot of experience in this area and I have a lot more ideas.

Good luck!  And I am here for you.