Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
3 1/2 year old speech delay
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3 1/2 year old speech delay

Hi, I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. She has been hard to understand since early on. She has been in preschool with speech therapy all school year, no improvement. People she does not know do not understand anything hardly. She goes through ups and down of being understood by her dad and me (Mom). I think it's getting better than, she is hard to understand again.

The second problem. She acts like a bimbo all the time!!! Like she has no clue what is going on in life. I still dress her completely help her in her car seat, unwrap things, zip things, open toys that are in bags, go up stairs, she needs her hand held tight when we go outside because she thinks she will seriously "Blow away" When we ask her to get something she just does not understand what were talking about. It is getting very frustrating. I don't mean to sound mean, I love her with all my heart and she is a very special girl, but I'm scared that something could be wrong. I asked her teachers if they suspected aspergers or autism and they said no. any advice, any doctors that could help me? Thanks!
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Ask your pediatrician about it.  If you are seriously worried, take your daughter to see a developmental pediatrician.  They can diagnose lots of stuff and could rule out or diagnose autism/aspergers.  The wait list can be several months, so don't wait around.  ANd your pediatrician's office should be able to recommend/refer you to one.  I'm waiting for my daughter, who has an appointment in March.  She has language delay and some sensory issues, and sometimes sensory issues can affect language.  She also does not respond to requests like "go get the ball" or stuff like that still.  Just don't worry while you wait.  I'm not worried about my daughter anymore.  What is, is, and there are so many therapies and help available in this day and age.  My daughter is 2, so we're going through our state's 0 to 3 program for therapy.  When she turns 3, there are developmental preschools and therapists.  But,  having a diagnosis helps making these therapies and preschools available.  The sooner you find out what is up, or just find out that nothing is up and rule out everything else, well, at least you know where you are.  

The wanting to hold your hand outside because she'll think she'll blow away sounds like a sensory issue.  I don't know.  I'm not an expert, but it sounds like it.  Does she have any sensory aversions or things she does to stimulate her senses?  Sometimes language delay can be caused by sensory issues, or sometimes by a motor coordination delay when your child has trouble forming the sounds.  Or maybe she's just afraid of being outside and wants your hand for comfort.

ANyways, so many things could be, you really need to see a specialist.  The sooner you go, the sooner you can get her the right help.  My 2 year old daughter didn't start making progress with her speech therapist until we started sensory integration therapy with an occupational therapist doing compressions and brushing technique stuff that makes her brain process sensory imput better.  She went from not speaking, not babbling, not responding to her name, and within a week of the sensory integration therapy was babbling, starting to speak, now responds to her name.  So the sensory integration therapy did more for her speech than the speech therapy, though now she really needs the speech therapy and it is taking off.  We also have a developmental therapist on our team.  It's a state funded thing, so we're not paying for any of it based off our income levels.  Even after age 3, there are state funded therapists and developmental preschools.  ANd it's not just for autistic children, it's for any developmental delays.

Well, hope any of that helped.  Just  hang in there, and try to stay on top of the doctors, and don't take the "oh, she's fine" for an answer and follow your gut instinct.  I shoudl have followed mine, and then I would have taken my daughter in to the 0 to 3 program when she was 18 months old.  But I waited until she was 2.  You can't kick yourself in the butt for the past, but focus on the present and the future.
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