3 year old bully!

My 3 year old son has been one of those sweet kids, and is EXTREMELY smart.  About 3 months ago my fiance and I discovered he had a son who is 2 years old.  We began getting his son and mine of course began having jealousy issues.  He was biting and shoving our new edition. He in turn got in trouble for this and has stopped doing it.  He has been in daycare for about 6 months and was doing great up until around feb.  He has started punching other children in the face there and hitting them.  He has shoved them and just been plain out horrible.  He only picks on those that are smaller than he is and has been scolded for his actions.  Nothing is working.  I'm sure this must be something to do with my fiance's son, but I don't know how to dicipline him here at home when it is happening at daycare.  He does not do anything to my Fiance's little boy now, but this behavior at daycare is of course unacceptable.  He does have his spats here at home with me.  He yells and screams but no hitting.  I've tried time-outs, spanking, talking and taking toys away.  It is not doing any good.  Please help me!

[kath0469]

If it's happening at daycare, then your daycare provider needs to put him in time out as soon as it happens. If it isn't happening at home, maybe it has nothing to do with your fiance's son. Toddler boys VERY often go through these stages. The behavior just needs to be addressed immiediately with a time out and making him apologize to the other child. Waiting for you to take care of it at the end of the day isn't the answer. In addition, you could try a reward system. When you pick him up from daycare, ask about his day. When he has a good day (i.e. no punching or hitting) then he gets a sticker or lollipop. etc.  My personal feeling is that spanking will only make it worse. I think it teaches kids to be aggressive, but that's just my very unprofessional opinion. :)

My son is 3 and went through a stage like this. I felt horrible when he'd hit other kids. My daughter never did this. Responding immediately really is the answer. Let him know that he hurt someone and make him apologize also. Good luck.