3 year old son holding his poop

My son is 3 years old.  He was totally potty trained, but a couple of months ago decided he no longer wants to poop.  He is back to wearing pull-ups because he has several accidents every day.  (He never pees his pants-always goes to the potty.) When the urge hits he runs to he other room,  holds on to something, stands on his tip-toes, clinches his butt cheeks together and turns red in the face trying to keep the poop in.  A little poop comes out every time and we have to wipe him several times a day.  To make matters worse his bottom gets totally raw even though we put diaper rash cream on every time.  He  screams and cries because he has to be wiped and he knows it is going to hurt.  There are many times that we have to put him in the bathtub just to get him clean.  We have tried treasure box, candy, stickers, even telling him we'll take him somewhere special- NOTHING WORKS!  He now screams "I DON'T WANT TO POOP!"
He gets plenty of fiber b/c he drinks the soy milk with added fiber and I have tried Milk of Magnesia but that just leads to an all day POOP FEST!  I do not know what to do.  Suppositories don't work b/c we could not hold him down long enough to get it in.
Does anyone have suggestions!

[rebbecca]

my 5 year old stepdaughter has a hard time pooping, it was so bad that she would bleed when she did poop. it can also lead to lots of other problems but anyway. i took she to the dr and they gave her glycolax, it has really helped. and there is no holding it, when she has to go there is no stopping it.
good luck and i hope i helped in some way

[mamanoodlez]

looks like he's afraid to poop because he's going to get wiped which equals pain to him. it's gonna be tough but you're going to have to get him off of pull ups and take care of the rash. i used 'dr. boudreaux's butt paste' on my daughter's tush, it's terrific. try getting unscented wipes, maybe he's allergic. i've also kept a watering can in my bathroom before to help wipe my daugher when her rash was bad (of course you have to wash your hands forever afterwards ;)) ..and to keep him pooping you should try the med rebbecca reccommended. =)

[HelpMomof2]

My son does something similar but he eventually will ask me to pick him up and carry him to the bathroom when he REALLY has to go and can't hold it any longer.  The pediatrician said it is very common in children this age.  
He recommended that after lunch and dinner have him sit on the potty even if he doesn't have to poop.  This is when the digestive tract naturally tries to move BMs.  We sit there and tell stories, play matchbox cars, read books and play I SPY games.  This really makes it an enjoyable time for him to spend with us.  His younger brother even potty trained at 2.5 yrs so he could spend the same time with us!  
When he does go I give tons of praise.  I've really tried not to make it an argument at all for fear of stigmatizing his "poop" issues.  
I hope some of this helps...I completely understand the sore hiney...poor little guys.  

[ElizD]

My son did the exact same thing and I thought it would never end!  He was so easy to potty train as far as peeing, but everytime he had to poop he would ask for a pull-up.  I guess the good part of that was the he never once had an accident.  It finally ending one day when we didn't have time to get to the pull-up and my husband just plopped him on the toilet.  He screamed and cried, but it finally happened on the potty.  We were exstatic.  So we decided to try it again the next time and he cried a little less and ever since there have been no problems.  So don't worry, it will eventually pass.  

When he was holding we did use the Milk of Magnesia, but a very low dose just to keep him from getting impacted from all of his holding.  

I also saw an episode of Dr. Phil once where a family had two boys who still did this at like 10 & 12!  But it was then that I learned it was fairly common because he had a pediatrician on there who specialized in it so much that she started the "Poop Group"  That was about 6 months ago, but there may be something on the show's website about it - I think she might have had a book about dealing with it.  When my son was holding, I had no idea that so many others did the same thing. Good Luck!

[garrettsmom15]

I am experiencing the same thing with my almost 4 year old.  He was to the point of holding it for 4-5 days and I had to give him suppositories to even get him to go.  I tried milk of magnesia and it didn't help at all.  In desperationfrom the traumatic screaming and crying and kicking every 4-5 days when he had to potty I called the pediatrician again for more advice and was told to get Miralax which is over the counter.  It has worked miracles so far.  Going to potty was a very traumatic screaming and kicking event for at least 6-8 months now, getting progressively worse.  He was going on his own on the potty and telling us when he had to go at around 3 years and then totally reverted back to this.  The first couple of days I mixed the Miralax with his milk and he drank it.  About 3 days later he had his first small poop in the potty on his own without telling me followed by 2 more major poops in the potty without one bit of screaming or crying.  A MAJOR breakthrough.  He has gone several more times during this week even at school which he has never done.  That isn't to say there isn't anymore small accidents in his pants but it's a major improvement from the trauma to this.  He now sees it isn't going to hurt so is more willing to go on the potty and not hold it like he was before.  It's worth a try as it has really helped my son which sounds the same as what yours is doing.  Get Miralax and use the dosage for a 16 and above on the label and see what happens. As for the rawness on his butt... try Aquaphor.  It has always worked for my son who was constantly raw to the point of not being able to sit in a bathtub of warm water and it is a ton better than any diaper rash cream I have used.  It usually subsides the redness and soreness in a day.  Hope this helps!

[1twinmom]

Oh my gosh you and I are in the SAME boat. Last year my son developed a rash and the from that point on has held is poop. we've been to several drs. Here is what it came down to for us. The last drs. were at a Constipation clinic. They took an x-ray of his belly and found that he had A LOT of stool even though I had been doing enemas. We had to do a major clean out b/c is stool was so hard way up high. Now we have to give him a suppository (Dulcolax not gylcerin) I know how bad it sucks to have to do that to your son but it's gotta come out. Then when I see hem start to clench I put him on the floor and have to hold his legs out so he can't clench and then cheer him on when the poop starts flying!   My son doesn't like the Miralax and I can't hide it in anything because he can tell it's in whatever but go figure he likes Milk of Mag. cherry and actually asks for it. The clinic says' it's important too keep the stool soft so it won't hurt coming out.  As for the ointment we use Burts Bee. I like it because it stays on and like the other mom said Aquaphor is great too.  My sons rash was so bad at one point his whole but was dripping blood when we wiped him so I know how you feel.  All in all the clinic said that once it doesn't hurt anymmore he will eventually come around and since he's been fighting this for almost a year it may take that long to resolve.  

[flywithme]

When your son gets a rash put a little vasilene on it before you wipe the poop off and I will not hurt him.  My 3 year old daughter is prone to rashes all her life and this is what I have to do to keep it from hurting her.  She is doing some of the same things and I can't figure out what to do. She use to go everyday and now she goes every other day.  It is amazing the control she has.  I would try potty training and first she was terrified of panties.  It was such a horrible experiece.  When I tried again one day about a month later she did not get scared when she saw the panties.  She would not potty though.  She would hold it for hours until I put a pull up on her for a nap and then bedtime.  I was scared she was going to get an infection so I put it all on hold again.  Then one day she ran out of her rooom and screamed "Mommy I have to go pee pee on the potty!"  I was so astonished I was nearly crying.  Now she will not poo on the toilet again she will hold it.  She will scream for a diaper.  No matter how long I hold off.  I eventually give in because she is screaming and I can't do that to her.  I do not know what to do.  I figure eventually she will get it.  Good luck!

[kaylasmum]

OMG!! I thought my grand daughter was unique, she does the same exact thing running into another room and hiding. I ask her why she won't use the potty and says she's afraid. She continually poops in her pants, she must go through at least 6-8 pairs of panties a day. We don't know what to do.....I'm going to check into the Miralax and hope that it works. She is awful when it comes to taking any medications, even though they taste so yummy nowadays. There's alot of good info here.

[rene8871]

my son was put on miralax today. i work for a peds gi doctor and she recommended it. you can get it over the counter but it was alot cheaper by prescription and i got a bigger bottle.  she recommends using pull ups for the first week. i just mixed it in his juice and he knew no different.

[kohlby]

Take him to the dr.

My son didn't pee train until 3.5 years old and it had to be all him.  He started holding in poops about every other day so I wasn't alarmed.  But what was happening was his muscles were getting too strong there.  So, when he decided he was no longer going to poop ever again, it was horrid.  He was put on miralax/glycolax daily for four months.  During this time, I still sometimes had to use suppositories or an enema.  He regressed with his peeing and ended up back in diapers full time.  He had about 3 tantrums a day lasting over an hour each.  He cried in pain other times, wrapping himself up in a blanket.  If I went somewhere with him - even the park - he would want to go home as soon as the urge hit.  I did reward him for pooping in his diaper.  It wasn't a bribe - since bribes never worked on him! But my idea was that at least it would make the painful pooping experience have something positive.  It took four months for him to go off the meds - and even then, it still hurt him.  It could be soupy water poop - and it would hurt.

What happens is that the bowels swell from holding it in.  Then the child can no longer feel the urge until it's too late.  It took a full three months after we were able to stop the meds until my son's pain was completely gone!  It's very important you get medical intervention ASAP.  My son's case went from bad to worse too quickly to stop it.  It was a terrible battle and I'm so glad we're through it.  My son is now fully potty trained as of 2 days ago.  He's 4.5 years old.  It did take a trip to the child psychologist at one point.  

*My son gladly took the miralax.  He couldn't taste it.  He knew it would help his poops.  He didn't want to poop ever again on one hand but he really didn't like the pain.  He also got plenty of fiber - having much more squishy poops than the average child before this experience.

[sue_perfluous]

Just a comment: If you've read as many horror stories as I have about long-term damage resulting from miralax you'll probably conclude that, stressful as it may be (for both of you), it's better to give suppositories and enemas - which are actually the least addictive methods - to make sure your kid's doing his dirt regularly.

[PaulineVautour]

My son is 6 years old now he in grade 1 .Ive been going crazy and feeling so bad for him its been about 3 years now that he dont ever want to go poop .I have tried evrything .He will hold himself always makes a mess in his pants all the time then every 1 to 2 weeks hes so full that i dont have no choice i give him so pills that makes him poop .It will give him gass then he cant hold himself.Thank god he still have some feelings.I realy think that the reason that hes scared is because when he was younger he was constupated alot from there he never wanted to go now its been 3 years .weve cried so many times together because of the pain that he goes thrue .Ill always tell him If you would just go on the toilette when you feel like pooping you wouldnt go thrue this pain.Hell say i know mommy i will next time i promiss. But it never happens.Like i say its been about 3 years now.Please can somebody helpMy son?

[aidansmom06]

aidansmom214
   I am also aidansmom, but 06! AND I am having the EXACT same problem with my Aidan! It has brought me untold relief to find this message board! I am quickly realizing just how COMMON of a problem this is! My Aidan has been on Miralax for a week and a half and is at the watery poop stage. An x-ray on Tuesday revealed a large amount of waste in hi colon and we are meeting a Pediatric GI specialist tomorrow and thanks to this message board I feel I have a lot more information to bring to the table. I know that there is nothing wrong with inside of him. I am hoping they will want to do a cleanse so we can start from scratch. So to speak. I feel so much relief thank you all!

[Lemony_Ember]

My daughter has been doing the same thing but it only seems to happen every 2 weeks. So for two weeks she goes fine then BOOM she just doesn't want to go any more, and i am losing my mind!!!  there is so much info on here i feel so much better knowing that my kid isnt the only one doing this! thank you everyone!

[Kups]

My 3 year 3 month old son just started holding his poops in until he can't hold it anymore.  At first I thought is was quite funny, legs crossed and those little butt cheeks squeezed so hard!  I thought he would get over it but after reading these posts have decided to more actively encourage him to go on the potty when he has the urge.
I sat on the big potty and him the little one, I pretended to push as if pooing and encouraged him to push the poo out.   And he did.  We cheered and sang poo songs.   Hopefully after a couple times of doing this he'll be back to going on his own.
I think the reason he is doing it is he thinks pooing is embarrassing.  I remember being very embarrassed by pooing or farting as a child.  

[jennmdlc]

I hate using medicine for every single thing...so here's what i did. My son is 3 as well....i thought about giving him some kind of natural lax which for him is apple juice or pineapple juices or something of the sort. He's been holding it for like 2 days now and it's all during this potty training time. He's doing great going #1 but he's scared to go #2...i read some kids just are scared of the unkown or feel like the BM is a part of them or something. Well i just decided---this is just not healthy and when he passes gas it smells SO bad. I just told him, this is the last time but you need to poop so go ahead. He looked so happy and relieved and he did...he pooped in his pull-up A LOT...I don't see any adults in pull-ups (unless due a medical condition or old age) I'm pretty sure eventually it will all work itself out. Don't be pressured mothers, just because another child has been potty trained at 18 months!!! IDK how!?!?  Every child is different and they will do it when they are good and ready. Little reminders and hints and even bribing are ok...but if they aren't ready---they aren't ready! Don't scare them away, they'll come around eventually. =)

[Leah161]

My 3 year old is the same and i must agree with the last comment.At first he just pooped on the floor when potty training, weeing is fine and has no accidents, i think he saw it and did not like the look of it and thats the reason why he kept holding on to his poo running around trying the best he could to hold it and he would, tried everythink to get him to poo, lots of stressful times for both of us he got to upset with it all. So now when he needs to go he gets me a nappy and he will go straight away but has to go to another room and do it on is own which is fine by me as he is not holding it anymore. To get to the stage we at has taken awhile as when i did put a nappy on him first he would still hold it till bed time and when i left the room he would do one.Dont get me wrong i still find it very stressful but fingers cross one day he will just do it i just hope it before preschool/ nursey which is in September thats my worry at the moment.

[mommyof529]

My son is 3.5 years old he suffered from acid reflux as a baby and the docs are telling me he is associateing the pain from it. I'm having alot of problems getting him to poop the doc said he is backed up really bad. He is back on Miralax and I have to do at least 3 enemas. Its still not working I can set him on the toilet for over an hour and everytime he is getting ready to poop he screams and crys and holds it in. Its too the point its burning his bladder and he will not pee on the pottey he squeezes his little butt with everything he has to stop from peeing and pooping.
ANY SUGGESTIONS I feel bad for him but I don't know what else to do and I'm afraid he is gonna end up in the hospital

[irishred795]

My family doctor and pediatric gastroenterologist said to give my son (four years old) Mira-lax every day. It doesn't MAKE him go, it softens the stool. He can't hold it in anymore. Once the child isn't able to hold it in any more and learns that it is not going to hurt when they go they will start using the potty again. My son had severe constipation from holding it in for so long. Try giving him the adult dose once a day in a FULL EIGHT OUNCES of liquid (that's really important). Mira-lax is safe to use, suppositories and laxatives should be used rarely. They can actually make things worse. It can take a month or two to get the child to use the potty again, so be patient. I've actually started reading stories to my son while he sits on the potty. You should also try to get him to sit on the potty twice a day after meals for 5 to 10 minutes. This goes against everything my mother ever told me! Hope this will help you. If your child doesn't like to take medicine sneak it to him. My son loves to mix his "sugar medicine" in the drink of his choice.

[mammaham]

I'm reading all of these suggestions with tears in my eyes...I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who has been potty trained since 2 and about 3 months ago she started holding he poop in and refuses to go on the potty. We have tried praise, rewards, privilages and restrictions and nothing works; she just gets more stubborn and screams at us. I bought fiber gummies, he poo is softer now but she still refuses to go. Today was awful, 10 pair of panies. I resorted back to pullups today. I will try the miralax. I'm so glad we aren't alone, we are so frustrated and sad for her pain. Thank you everyone.

[Jim18003]

What do you do if your child doesn't seem to understand the concept of pushing out the poo?  My daughter doesn't seem to be going poo nearly as often as she should.  She has little accidents in her panties almost every day.  We've tried explaining how there is both an inside and an outside part to her bottom, and she needs to learn to feel the inside part so she will know when it's time to go poo.  She doesn't seem to get it... whenever we ask her to sit on the potty and try pushing out some poo, she just says "I don't have any poo poo" and gets really upset.  Any ideas?

[The4Rippels]

well i'm glad to know it's not just my child who is doing this. he's only been potty training for a week & picked it up the 1st day(even pooped 1x). but now he's been back to hiding, crossing his legs, etc just like he used to do in his pull-ups. now it's been 9 days & still no poop. his doctor said to use miralax til he starts going then cut down to every other day 'til he's regular. hoping this works. she also said holding poop is a behavioral issue?? gl w/your son...hope "it" flows soon

[Leah161]

Well i wrote on here in May arghhh is all i have to say.My 3 year old has started preschool which he loves but his pooing at the moment is a nightmare.We stopped using nappies for him as we really needed to crack this because of him going to preschool.He started of slowly and he was on medication which is meant to help him go!!! It took a month really and he has been alot better, instead of holding it for a week we have got it down to about 1-2 days with  liitle fuss.Then this past 2 weeks its been hell at the moment he really needs to go and is holding it, screaming and running round the house refusing to go, gone through so many pants surley this is not normal ,have taken him to the docters before about this but will not help, says ive got to train him!!! We have put him on medication which we had to buy but trying to get him to take it is a nightmare too.If anyone says to me have i done this and that i think im going to explode!! i swear i have done eveything from reward charts to sweets a new toy a book even saying you do a poo you make mummy very happy.When he finally goes he is fine no screaming nothing then when he is done he just says ive done a poo all happy so i just dont get it HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY!

[JaniDawn]

I was excited (not sure if that is the right word- maybe comforted is better) to see your post and all the others. My daughter will be 4 in a month and has these same pooping issues. We go through multiple panties a day with the streaking and I'm so tired of my bathroom and house smelling like poop! She's been holding it for a year now. I am not sure why - when asked all she says is "I'm afraid" but can't explain beyond that. We tried the milk of mag and the miralax but that seemed to just make the streaking worse without her ever really going. She's never gone hard round balls so not sure if constipation is an issue or not. Will be asking for an x-ray at her 4 year check up. Need to figure this out as she is limited as to what she can do as long as she is not potty trained. Thanks everyone!

[gristlebear]

I was relieved to see so many others have this same problem!  The scary thing for me is that I have a little brother who also did this and is still doing it sometimes and he's 11 years old!!!  I'm hoping that my son (who's 3 1/2) will not have to go through this that long too!   My mom has been battling this with my brother for sooooooo many years now and went to all the doctors, specialists, and psychiatrists.  The only advice she had for me was Miralax.  Here's hoping.....

[JaniDawn]

Sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. My daughter has had limited success and still continues to hold her poop.  We stopped the Miralax due to it causing just continual pooping. We are currently seeing a specialist and have taken her off of most milk products. We actually have had a few successes since then but still have a long way to go. I have a friend who has girls 9 and 7 that still deal with this. They are at the same clinic now though and are really seeing some good results. Good luck and keep us updated with how you are doing.

[Jacobsmom1]

My son will be 5 in nov and he has had these issues since he was about a year. He has had accident after accident in his underwear and his pull-ups.  For awhile he was going on the potty for his bms and last couple of months he has reverted back to hiding in his room. I use restoralax and it has been amazing! At the same time he still decides to hold it for about 4 days. Last night after sr preschool he had to go soo bad you could see a ball trying to push thru his bum and it looked like it was gonna tear right thru the skin. My husband and I and our son were in tears b/c he was brutal so we drew the bath and the warm water helped him; it shot out of him and was the size of a pool ball. That was the last straw):  We are gonna do a complete overhaul on his diet and everything else.  The key is fiber! Fiber! Fiber!

[Dr_Kitty]

I have a 3 1/2 old daughter with the same issue. It's been now over 6 months of this agony.The worst part of it , she has isolated her self at home with this, we cannot go anywhere, since as soon as the urge hits, she curls up and cries to go home.Miralax does help to soften the poo, but then she is miserable since she cannot hold it in effectively and hates to even let a drop out so she lies down all day long, in a fetal position and works at holding it.She pees in the potty just fine for over a year.She has mastered the holding - in thing to fine science. Ped referred us to a GE, so we will see what they say. When she finally goes, it's such an amount that she goes ,clothed and all straight in the tub. It's very hard for me to watch her suffer for no reason what so ever. I pray this ends.
Her nutrition is great, and otherwise this is a very bright and sweet child.I have no advice, just pray that we survive this......

[Leah161]

I have 2 post on here with my boy who is now four. He has cracked it, well I like to think we all have. We went back to him going in a nappy and never put pressure on him to go on a potty or toilet, then last month decided this is it as he starts full time school in September.Told him this is the last pack of nappies and  I am not buying him anymore as he is a big boy and does not need them anymore. In the lead up to no more nappies we said he can choose any toy he wanted and he chose Tomica as he loves it. Few days before we let him choose a new potty, its a chair one, potty with legs and you can take the middle part out to empty ( I do believe this style of potty has helped in a big way ) The day, arghh it was a nightmare he really needed to go and no way easier of putting it, well it was dripping out, at this point he was screaming saying it hurts ( he never makes a fuss when having a nappy on, he just does it ) I put him on the potty and told him to stay there until he is done. I have the potty downstairs but in a room so I don't have to be with him because I do find being in the same room hard while he is kicking off but I am only a few paces away in another room ( when he had a nappy on he always had to be on his own )Must admit was so glad I had no nappies in the house because I could of gave up on day one!! it was hell but he finally done it, it might have taken half a day being on that potty but he done it, he was so happy and the first words he said was I can get Tomica now!!  which he did. Day 2 just as worse as day one!! alot of screaming and I mean screaming its very hard to listen too, but he done it again and both of us in tears just hated the screaming the tears and screaming out it hurts and wanting to get off, so relieved he had done it. Day 3 Doctors as his poos where big!! and because of him holding it he needed to have a good clear out so he put him on Movicol to soften it, this has helped in a big way too. On day four it took him 1 min yes 1 min to go!  each day it gets better no more screaming he just goes and he has even been on the toilet on his own so he got another toy for that. I have reduced the amount of Movical he has, the first week it was evey day one sachet in his drink but his poos got too soft so I am on week 3 and going to try twice a week to see how that goes. Anytime he needs to go he just does it now and he is such a happier boy alot of people can see the difference still cannot believe we are there after nearly 2 years of it all, so I really hopes this helps and yes you have to be strong for your child. Someone said do you think if we done the same a year ago do you think we would have the same outcome and to be honest no I don't, I truly believe he was ready this time it might have been hell for a few days but week 3 its amazing.

[lovenmygirls]

I have a 3 yr old daughter, shes been holding her stool sice she was a yr. iv tred miralax, it works for a while and then she goes back to clenching her lil butt cheeks together and wont eat, the high pitch screaming and the kicking is horriable. today she has had 4 cups of stright apple juice , miralax and 2  fiber gummies, iv also been to many drs. iv done enmas. pretty much evrything i can think of. i cant think of what else to do. its going on 6 days now and shes making herslef sick. anybody have any more ideas???? thank you

[larasmom]

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. Here is something I have not read on this page yet and which might be helpfull to all fo you. My daugther of 3y8 months has started holding it in since a couple of weeks and goes once in 3-4 days now instead of daily. When I asked her why, she said: "I dont' want to go because I will smell." I thought it must be a feature she has inherited from her father, who is a very proper kind of person. Even though we have known each other for more than 10y and live together for almost 5 years, he still goes to the downstairs loo for his number 2. Myself I have almost no boundaries on the subject. Anyway when I heared her saying that, I recalled those couple of times she was in the bathroom when I;ve done my number2 and her reaction to it: she pinched her little nose and screamed out: 'your poop got into my nose, get it out, get it out'. I thought that must have been the problem and told her that poop always smells, but only for a couple of minutes and then we flush it and then it's OK and even asked her whether she wanted to be alone on the loo when she does it. But now I read all the comments, I am happy to realise that this is a common issue and hugely relieved that it was not me who has put my little girl off her toiletting. I am giving her a lot of green tea with honey to soften it up. Good luck to all of you!!

[marah_rn]

My daughter hasn't gone for a week now. I am so stressed and extremely worried about my daughter. I am hoping and praying that she would go at least tomorrow so as we don't have to go to the hospital.

I have tried almost everything. prunes, prune juice, vegetables in her diet, fruits, suppository, lactulose and GP said today to give her movicol for the next 2 days. She is passing wind at the moment so I hope she goes sooner that I thought. It's just comforting to know I am not alone in this.

[momofzachandjosh]

I have a two yr old with the same problem. I have been to three different GI's and they all say dif things. the latest said i should be using a laxative instead of miralax because the miralax will not force him to poop and it can lead to long term damage. Problem is that my son will not take a laxative in any shape or form. he can taste it and refuses to take it. The miralx is the only thing i can get into him. Has anyone heard anything with regards to a laxative (like a senna product) being more useful in the long run than the miralax?  The other GI said a laxative is too painful and addicting. she recommended Miralax. I feel so confused, worried and helpless.

[addiesammymom]

Thanks everyone.....this is so hard.  My little guy is 3.5 and will hold it in.  I work full time, so he is at daycare and today let is all out on the floor.  I am so embarrassed as is he.  He won't poop.  refuses.  my daughter was the same way and Miralx didn't do much for her.  She finally got it.  I will try Miralax with him.  But, he has to do it.  I know all in due time, but he can't keep this up or I will not have daycare anymore.  Thanks for all your help.  It is nice to know we are not alone

[twindaddy3]

Thank you all for sharing your stories.  My wife and I are dealing with the same thing with our almost 4 year old son who is a fraternal twin.  His brother goes fine and he did too until about June of this year when he started holding it and not going and then he started having runny accidents in his pants over and over.  We are so tired of having to change poopy pants and underwear and now my son has not had a BM for almost a week and I am really concerned for him.  His tummy is tight and I think we will take him into the urgent care center tomorrow.  We have tried miralax and it worked to soften it but did not fix the aversion to pooping on the toilet.  My wife and I are scouring the internet looking for help and we are trying to decide how to revamp his diet and see if that helps.  We are at the point of trying anything.  My wife is reading about allergies as a possible cause and or sensitivity to certain foods such as dairy or gluten.

[BUBBAMOMMY]

It is called Encopresis and not taken care of early can lead to problems throughout the Childs life. Look it up online there is quite a bit of references on the subject. My son has it and we are working to fix the problem.

[DomsDad2011]

#######  FRESH SQUEEZED ORANGE JUICE!!!!!  #######

Someone recommended giving fresh squeezed orange juice once a day (if possible first thing in the morning on empty stomach) and we've had great results.  We have an electric citrus juicer, so making juice is a snap, and electric citrus juicers are not that expensive.

Our 3 yr old son, for several months, has been holding his poop for up to 5 days (we started keeping track).  When he would get to the jumpy stage, we'd have to finally sit him on the toilet and wait til he finally goes, which was usually met with lots of resistance.  

It has been about a month now since we began giving him orange juice in the mornings and he's been going every 2-3 days now.  We saw results pretty quickly after starting and the resistance to going to the bathroom is markedly reduced.  

I hope this works for others!  Enjoy the holidays!

[DomsDad2011]

I forgot to mention that we usually only juice 1 large or 2 smaller oranges, about 4-6 ounces.  It don't think it takes a lot to to be effective; and I wouldn't want to give my child a lot of orange juice on a daily basis (1-2 cups or more).

[rebbecca123]

We have been dealing with this for over a year now with our 3.3 year old son. We have seen GI specialists. He has had enemas, high doses of miralax continuously with no results. My husband finally pulled some strings to see a very highly regarded specialist in this area in Indianapolis. He took him off of the miralax (now we only use high doses to clean out when he withholds for long periods of time) and he put him on mineral oil. He said that for some kids it works better. And it did for our son too! He started pooping on the potty consistently. The doctor told us to start putting him on 10 min after breakfast and 10 min after dinner. We eventually added lunch time in on our own. Mineral oil was really heaven sent for a while. Our problem now however, is that our little guy is too smart and refuses to drink anything that has the mineral oil or miralax in it. The result is a lot of withholding, distended tummy, constipation, etc. It is a continuous cycle. The mineral oil needs to be in something cold. Ice cream has worked but we tend to not give too much dairy. The doctor said that this could take as long as a year or more to get under control. Any suggestions on creative things to put either mineral oil into or miralax into? Thanks!

[TLC80]

Like alot of you I am hugely relieved that this is a common problem. But there are alot of points I have to make that no one else to seem to share yet and I'm hoping that someone might. When my son holds on: encouraging him to go seems to make things a whole lot worse and sometimes if i say nothing at all, ignore him and walk away so he is a little less engaged in anything, he will take himself off to the toilet. But it doesn't always work and other times I fail to say nothing and things escalate. I haven't sought out medical help yet. mainly because I  feel the problem is mostly psychological at this stage. I don"t feel he is holding for pain ( i could be wrong) i think its a control thing. Perhaps its both. Either way he is eating and one way or another the poo comes out so I don't think that there is any reason for medication etc at this stage. He starts preschool two days a week and that is my main concern. And it causes me reluctance and anxiety to go out with him for long periods. One of the main reasons I feel its unrelated to pain and mostly an act of autonomy is that when it started it was for wee and poo. I seemed to have combated the wee problem by simply leaving him be and while he may hold on for a short time he will go in his own time.

Before I rattle on to much is anyone experienced something similar. He doesn' t seem to be especially constipated, his diet is really high in fibre and when he does go it isn"t hard, it just might take some time to get out if I actually get him on the toilet after he has already soiled his pants. This is the only way I can get him on after he has already started in his pants.
.................

[TLC80]

I didn't mention my son is 31/2 and has been toilet trained since may last year. And for the most part has been fine although at times needed reminding which up until now wasn't a problem. And most of all has found it difficult to remove himself from an engaging and fun circumstance particularly when I am not around; to go the toilet. Having said that until now it wasn't a major issue. And when I say now probably about a month or two but in away that has been increasing and has really only become a huge issue in the last few weeks and tends to get worse when he has been out of my care !

[TLC80]

oops and one more point, if his pants are off he won"t hold ! almost as if he knows it has noone to land if he fails and he doesn"t seem to wanna risk that ! Like I said all sounds psychological to me.

[Arrhismama]

I finally decided to research my 3 yr 4 mo daughter's reluctance to pooping. This has been going on since the summer. She is not potty trained at all (which I think has to do with her baby sister being born in June) but now will not poop. We have done enemas, Miralax, and are now using Colace. The MIralax just made her go constantly and made her butt raw. The Colace seems to be softening her stool but she runs around the house screaming and will cross her legs as to hold it in. I dont know what else to do!!! We have bribed her, nothing works!! She wont poop in her pullup or the potty. I think it is psychological as she is afraid it is going to hurt but we are so frustrated and don't know how to help her! We are going to really push her sitting on the potty because she "doesnt want to poop on the potty" as she states. Good luck everyone. Its comforting to be able to find information on the net that relates to our situation.

[amassey08873]

Hello All, So glad this is more normal then I thought, and not just my son having these problems,  My son goes pee no problem on the potty, but when its time for BM he has to use a pull up.  This has been going on for about a year now. But about 2  weeks ago his mom started pushing the potty issue, trying to persuade/force him to use one. He's been deathly afraid of pooping on the potty ever sense  his first experience when water splashed up on his butt. He thought something was reaching up to pull him down into the toilet.  (Scary movies had a big role in this)
I've noticed whenever we give him cheeze doodles he has a very hard time going #2 pull up or no pull up. Well I'm not sure what set off this holding is poo in but for about 2 weeks now he's been holding his poo in.  
It went about 5 days without a BM then I bought a ped enema and stuck his but in the tub.  After about 2 hrs of every emotion possible, I finally was able to get him to go, He felt so much better and actually kept going for the rest of that day. Forgive me for the graphic nature of these next few statements but they were so big I had to squeeze them out because they were the size of a pool ball, they're were two of them. He went to the bathroom the next night in his pull up, but when his aunt and mother started pushing the potty again sure enough he started holding it again.  So now were at day 5 again. I just tried the bathtub trick again and he won't go, I gave him about an oz of enemia but still no luck.  He won't even let the fluid from the enema out.  I tried to reasure him no one would push the potty on him anymore but he's still holding it. To add to it, he's caught what ever was going around my sisters house in WV. They're always seems to be a 48hr bug that we all catch just before we leave. So I'm thinking he's having adverse effects from not pooping. aahhahaaaah
I don't know why I can't get him to see he's hurting himself.

[Lc25]

Man... i thought i was at this alone Apparently not Im real glad I have also done miralax and suppositories but my 3 year old son continues to try and hold it Its jard to deal with something like this cause i am trying to potty train him He goes pee by himself but same thing like many others have said he goes and hides from everyone in site but i hope you have found the solution since you wrote this on 07 Im still trying to figure this out Glad i found this site cause i read a lot of amazing tips thanks to my husband

[prettymandm]

Wow!!! So glad I am not in this alone... I am truely lost that my 2 1/2 year old daughter will not poop on the potty.. She will wait until she has on a pull up to go and sometimes she doesnt even go then... When she finally decides she wants to go in the pull up of course its too late its already impacted and it hurts her. She pees on potty just fine will not pee on herself IF she has underwear on.. If she has pull up on the potty goes completely out the window.. so I withheld the pullups for bed time only and she knows this and this is her opportunity to do the do!! Im lost and confused.. please help

[thehumanfly2astheotherkidswouldsay]

i am now 15 years old, i had this problem from grade 3 to 5 it is very serious i get teased every single day by my family and by "friends" i practically got bullied out of high school the solution isnt to get enemas and pills and stool softeners but to tease your kid a little, if he smells just friendly tease him a little each time or how ever you want to do it it will save your kid a life time of pain i had zero trauma or teasing or anything and now i get an upper lip twitch everytime i talk to people and i get twitches that my little brother has to deal with ive hurt others around me alot and it could have all been solved by  some friendly teasing anger and sadness and even happiness dont mean anything to me anymore because my mind has dissociated from my feelings ive thought about suicide its not a joke

[alma166]

So sorry to hear of your teasing.  My daughter is just under 2 1/2 and the other toddlers at her school are very concerned for her when she is in pain.

It comes and goes, it is not a constant issue. Sometimes she will have no problems pooping for weeks, then she will go through phases where she crosses her legs and struggles to keep it in.  If I catch her soon enough, and force her into a sitting position, then she will have a big poop in her diaper.  If I don't get to her soon enough, usually she just has a streak of poop. She used to go poo in her sleep, but now she will sometimes go a few days with only streaks.  She is not afraid of the toilet, she pees on it, and will poo on it too occasionally, although sometimes she sits and nothing comes out.  When she does poo it is typically soft, and not abnormal.

She has had this problem since about 16 months old, and I noticed that it was worse when she was teething (and had an accompanying rash).  Has anyone else noticed a correlation with teething, and the problem just resolving on its own after the last molars were in?

Right now the pediatrician has her on laxatives, Restoralax.  But it takes very high doses (20g/day) to work.

[JaniDawn]

I posted over a year ago and sad to say we have seen little improvement in our now 5 year old. We tried meds, we tried changing the diet, we tried rewards and punishment as well as multiple doctors. I really don't think there is anything else to try so we have pretty much stopped. It was becoming such a huge stresser on our entire family. It still can be but we have decided to take some time off - so to speak. We finally saw one of the top pediatric GIs in our area. He did a full physical exam and pages and pages of blood tests to check for any physical condition. His answer?  This is something that is now occuring in aobut 10% of girls (and I think 15% of boys). For whatever reason she started holding she has taught her body that the feeling of needing to go poop is normal. He says the nerves in her rectum are not working correctly and the only thing that will change that is time and maturity and her deciding the importance of working on it. He says this typically happens between the ages of 7-9. While it's frustrating to know we could be dealing with this for years to come we have worked hard on her taking the responsibility of cleaning it up herself. This helps with our stress level as well. We also use the super thin panty liners in her underwear so if she streaks or has an accident she can just pull it out and either throw it or flush it.

We also talk honestly with her about the smell factor and that other people/children will not want to be around her if she is smelly. We stress that this needs to be her decision. We also on occasion will talk to her about the things she is missing out on because of the streaking/holding. We never know when it will occur so are not comfortable allowing her to go on playdates alone at this time except for a few close friends who understand the problem. She also can not take swimming lessons as a result. Hopefully this will help her decide for herself that it is important.

Good luck to everyone. I have a friend who has two girls with similar issues. The 9 year old is finally getting it; and her 7 year old is starting to so there is HOPE! :)

[iris364]

wow I just started reading comments about kids holding the poop, my grandson is 7 and he is still having this problem, i always blame my daughter and son in law but reading other people having the same problem makes me see its not there fault.  they have given him everything you think of, its gotten to the point where he depends on enema once a week in order to go to the bathroom, he will be in alot of pain but then he gets relief, i wish someone could help my daughter with this problem i don't want him to get older and still have this problem.  he still were pull ups.  sad as it sounds.  can someone help or tell us what to do dr's just keep on telling me its mental he needs to see a therapist.  

[KELLYCPHT]

This is a genius idea! Thanks, I am trying it NOW with my [almost] two year old girl.

[nevaehsaunti]

I agree with you about the potty training concept, not to make a big deal of it and they will come around on their own.  But what these mothers are speaking of, and my Great Niece is having this issue as well, is not about potty training.  My niece will not poop in a diaper either.  She holds her cheeks together and when some comes out anyway, she cries like it is killing her.  So, with this fear, constantly sitting in smudges of poop causing rashes, I sit by the bathroom door and act like a cheerleader to push the poop out;.  She will eventually go and of course, it is much to large for such a small person from holding it.  Then I have to try and wipe that rash which is painful.  So now that she has gone, I have her in a t shirt of mine with no diaper to air out that bottom.  I have never seen this kind of situation before and it is frustrating for all.  

[Momde3]

    ... It is frustrating  He was born with a condition called  Imperfect anus so he had surgery when he was a day old and since then  we have been dealing with hard stool, so to avoid that we've been  giving him prune juice, he like it which is  great, because the taste is not that good and he was doing great not constipation at all, the surgeon congratulates us for doing  a awesome job taking care of him BUT  LATELY  3 weeks today  he is holding his poop..... It is crazy...  well.... in  my desperation  when i see him  making faces and holding it i go and push his belly and bend him  forward so hi wont put much pressure in is butt, and works most all the times...  but  I am scare  I don't want him to mess up his surgery... for sure I will make an appointment ASAP...

[Jessicax12]

Glad im not the only one my 3 year old son is the same and he will hold it all day till i put a nappie on him at night even if it hurts him its like he has a fear to go for a poo in the toilet or a potty i have tried everything..

[samsmom28]

I'm wondering where someone has read Mirilax is bad long term. If they did I'd like to know where they have seen it. I have heard Mineral Oil isn't good long term but both my kids have been on Mirilax and have had no side effects and I've not heard that it will make them lose sphincter muscle control. If anyone read different, please let me know. It's about the safest as it gets for laxatives!!

[DaddyMozis]

Read this. "its long-term risk is not known"

http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/childinmind/2012/05/the_poop_wars_why_miralax_is_j.html