3.5 year old waking crying every night

Hi. At about 2 and a half, just before her sister was born, my daughter started waking up 1-4 hours after she had gone to bed. She would wake up screaming and kicking and stretching her legs and would not calm down for sometimes an hour. I read about night terrors but the description did not seem to fit exactly in that she seemed aware. She would scream for me or daddy but talking to her made it worse (she would then tell us to go away) until it developed into a full blown tantrum where she was fully aware of what was going on.These ceased about 2 months after her sister was born but a few months ago she started doing a similar but milder thing again. This time waking up and crying in a whiny kind of way for mum and dad. Initially I would attend to her and prompt her to go to the toilet, which she needed to do, so I think that was waking her up, and then she would go back to bed. But she is really whiny and unpleasant  to me during the process in a way I consider disrespectful and it affects the way I feel about her. For example, she called for me, I came and soothed her, then she said she didn't like me and wanted daddy. I thought I'd try ignoring the behaviour as she can go to the toilet by herself when she wants. This resulted in her crying for about 10-20 minutes, getting louder and louder, then finally quieting down, making her bed (go figure) and coming into our room, using our ensuite, then climbing into our bed. More recently, I thought I'd try telling her off and doing a time out. She did calm down after 15 minutes, said sorry on request, went to the toilet, and then back to bed but again it was lots of unpleasantness. This happens every single night. I'm just not sure why she cries on waking and which is the best way to approach it because all result in at leat 15 minutes of crying and meanness and I'm not sure why she cannot just take herself off to the toilet and back to bed on her own when we have told her this is ok. Any ideas please?

[tgtiffany]

My daughter isn't potty trained yet (in process) but I do know that she has always had a problem with gas.  She wakes up in the middle of the night (a LOT sometimes) screaming and kicking and doesn't want me to touch her and she ends up passing gas and then she is better.  Maybe try gas drops for her??  I taught my daughter that passing gas isn't a bad thing and that she can do it anytime, she still doesn't do it too much when she's awake but when she wakes up in the middle of the night that's the first thing I ask her. "do you have gas in your tummy?"  She says "yeah" and then I tell her to push it out and if she still has a problem I sometimes lay her on her tummy and rub her back.  Maybe that's why your daughter wakes up screaming?....and then after it finally goes away and she calms down and goes potty of course it's either gone or it has moved around and isn't hurting her anymore.  I would try drops..see if it helps!

[mommananny3]

sounds like classic Night Terrors!! dont worry mom .. My daughter did all of that and more until about 6 .. now she sleep walks on occassion.. Your best bet is to Gate her room (baby gate) make her environment safe!! DO NOT interact with her.. if u wake her it gets worse.. goodluck

[meredithc]

Thanks for the advice!

[Stef110]

My daughter just turned 4 and I have just about the same problem. Right now it's only every few days. I have 3 girls and she is the middle one. She is a daddy's girl, she always wants Daddy. If I try to answer her when she is talking to Daddy she will say "I'm talking to Daddy!! not you". She is very active. She has a more athletic build than my older daughter. She wears pullups at night because she still has accidents. During the night she'll cry, moan, groan and sometimes even talk. When we check on her she is either still sleeping, doesn't want us to bother her or just says that she is okay. For times where I heard her talk, she was dreaming of fighting with her sisters. Like "Noooo, that's mine" or "Nooo, Get off Tessa". My daughter also tries to get Mommy and Daddy to do stuff for her. My husband gives in more than I do. Which is probably why she wants him all the time. Most of the time she goes fine to the bathroom. I help her if we're out somewhere public. Sometimes she tries to get us to wipe at home and I tell her she's a big girl she can do it and that if she doesn't then I guess she is staying on the toilet forever. Sort of the same thing with clothes, socks and shoes. I just help her with snaps and zippers, but sometimes she whines to get Daddy to do them. It's like she is testing to see what she can get out of us. She'll whine to be carried to bed. Mommy makes her walk to bed most of the time but Daddy gives in a carries her about every time. I've talked to him about what he has been doing but he still does it anyway. After trying to google it I did think that maybe it was something she was eating, but after finally hearing her start talking it seems more like nightmares and/or dreams. I am just glad it has let up from how it was and hopefully she'll out grow it. Hopefully your daughter will too, Goodluck!