Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
4 yr old acting out
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting toddlers (age 1-5), including physical, speech, sensory, cognitive and emotional development, choosing a daycare/nanny, games & activities, and toilet training.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

4 yr old acting out

So at home I have some problems with my son but its nothing I can't handle, he's gone to bed without TV or a story many times. Here lately he's been acting out at school. He pinched a kid yesterday and had no dessert and went to bed with no TV as punishment. We talked about keeping our hands to ourself. Today he was picking on another kid and although he didn't harm him I guess it royally ticked off the parents that my son was mean to theirs. He played really well with a child last night at a work party but I have seen him with an attitude towards other children at school. I know he hates school but its not like pulling him out is an option. I think pre k is important. How can I get him to drop the attitude and be nice to his classmates?
3 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
5914096_tn?1376655554
If you haven't done so already, you might want to ask him why he treats others mean.  Secondly, though removing privileges is an effective form of discipline, placing him in a form of a timeout would be more effective.  I don't think that you gave your sons age.  I'm assuming he is young however.  I would place him in a one-minute timeout per his age per misbehavior.  Timeouts are more effective than removing privileges because he experiences the consequence right away.  As a matter of fact, he needs to comply with your rules during the timeout in order for it to end.  Also, make sure he gets disciplined at home in this fashion for misbehavior at school.
Blank
134578_tn?1383690151
I've heard from an experienced school principal on this forum that there is little point in disciplining a young child at home for what he does at school.  What immediate negative consequence is there (in other words, at school) for your child when he pinches or hassles another child?  Does the school have a standard way they respond and set of things the child who transgresses has to do?  (Like, apologize?)  My son's preschool had a routine -- they made the aggressor apologize, the agressed-upon accept, and the kids would hug.  Does your school have some kind of standard approach?

If your son hates school but you make him go, that frankly sounds like impetus for taking things out on the other kids, especially at 4.  Is this his first school?  Is he just 4, or closer to 5?  How long is the school day for him?  If he is only just turned 4 and hates going, why such an emphasis on having him there -- is it a matter of having to put him there so you can go to work?  

Does he act unhappy and say he wants to be home with you?  My son cried about having to go to preschool when he was 3 1/2 and pleaded not to go, but by 4 1/2, had entirely changed his mind.  If I had forced the issue for longer than I did at 3 1/2 (went with it for two months to give it a chance), he would have gotten nothing from the school experience except the conviction that school is awful and Mommy doesn't care.  That belief would hardly have done any good later in school, no matter how important I think education is.  Is there some way to get to the bottom of his dislike for school?  

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
He'll be 5 in march. He's been in daycare since about8 months. I had tto switch him to this school in august because we moved states but I never really had a problem with him not wanting to go. He always tells me he hates his teacher and when I ask why he hits/ pinches he says Cuz they hit me first. So I'm trying to teach him that instead of hitting back to go tell the teacher but he doesn't like or trust his teacher so its hard. I am gonna pull him out of school as soon as I settle when baby #2 arrives. I have the material to have him educationally ready for kindergarten and I will just have to find him play dates to fill in the social skills building. He has never in the 4 yes he's been in school had this problem with physical injury to other students, until he came to this school
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
How to Silence Your Inner Critic an...
Apr 16 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eaters: How to Silence Yo...
Mar 26 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
1344197_tn?1392822771
Blank
Vaginal vs. Laparoscopic Hysterecto...
Feb 19 by J. Kyle Mathews, MD, DVMBlank