babysmom, there are a lot of people with diaper fetishes. It's unlikely at this point she'll "grow out" of this - it's a fetish.
There a part of me that wonders if this is a hoax somehow - I can't imagine dressing a 12 year up like an infant for a baptism. It seems to me that this was written by someone with a diaper fetish, but I could be wrong.
My 4 year old boy still uses diapers at night and at day time pull ups
This is totally normal. There is a 10% of kids that still use diapers from 5-6 years old.
Its not laziness, it's the child being ready to seperate themselves from familiar and comfort items.
My daughter is 6 years old and she wears a regular diaper size 6 to bed still. She wets the bed appox. 3 times a month, since we don't know what night it'll be, we play it safe and she wears them nightly.
But, recently I noticed that she likes to wear them. After her bath every night, I will put a diaper on her and read to her and tuck her in. This ritual makes her feel safe and good.
I don't mind it, it's harmless and when she is ready to let it go, then we'll let it go
In my perspective I really don't consider that neglect. Other people may look at it that way when a 5 year old is still in pull-ups. I can understand them being used at night time mainly because it is harder for kids to get up to use the bathroom at night unless they really have the urge. Bed wetting is usually a big problem in young kids. However, I really think this child needs to be worked with to be potty trained. A lot of schools won't allow children to attend unless they are potty trained & if she is already 5 she needs to be in school soon. Her not being potty trained may put her back academically too with having to start late.
TO the OP, I agree with maybe she's developmentally slow.
Have you spoken to your sis, SIL about your concerns?
Maybe there's something you don't know...
To the fetish diaper lady....wow.
Actually, having a pacifier that long will give her issues with developing teeth. She may very well need braces when she is older
Have they even tried training her? She won't be able to go to kindergarten like that. I don't think it's neglect, just maybe laziness, unless your niece is developmentally delayed. She is (in my opinion) too old for a pacifier, too, but that won't really hurt anything as far as I know. They need to step up and get her toilet-trained as soon as possible.