Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
Child Custody
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting toddlers (age 1-5), including physical, speech, sensory, cognitive and emotional development, choosing a daycare/nanny, games & activities, and toilet training.

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Child Custody

I have recently gone through a divorce and we have a now four year old son.  Prior to the divorce the baby and me had moved and he was attending school while his father had his girlfriend staying with him on and off.  at the end of the school year last year i travelled from the caribbean to take him to visit his father he arranged for him to see him for a week. at the end of that week when i went to pick him up they were being dropped off by his girlfriend when i ask our son where he was coming from he told me he slept on the couch at his girlfriend's house and daddy did not sleep with him.  his father claimed it was not true. after then it happened that in july he was with his father where he claimed i abundant on our son and had to do court proceedings to get him back - he was appointed back to me.  our son then told me that he did not sleep in his room but instead slept in bed with his father and his girlfriend.  again his father insulted me when i asked.  the divorce was recently finalized but nothing in concern to our son was not as far as custody and visitation. when our son was appointed to me in august the court ordered stated that he gets him one weekend a month and for thanksgiving.  he has not picked him up at all but he plans on getting him for thanksgiving.  i have no problem with him spending time with our son my only concern is what our son has told me about sleeping in bed with him and his girlfriend.  i do not think that such should be happening at all.  i am trying my best to instill a strong foundation for him morally and otherwise.Being with me he has not be exposed to any relationship whatsoever as far as me and another man is concerned much less to share a bed with another man and me.  i am wrong for not wanting him to go to his father for those reasons? Should he be sleeping in bed with his father and another woman? i really don't know what to do.  if i dont allow for him to go then that would be in contempt of the court order. but my son is most important and i want to do want is best for him.  what can i do? any advise? should that have ever happened?
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Avatar_m_tn
I don't think you are wrong. I would be pissed if I found out that my kid was in the same bed as my ex and his new girlfriend. It's just not right. Why doesn't he have his own bed? I believe you need to speak to your ex about it. Just let him know in a non confrontational way that it upsets you and you would like for your son to sleep in his own bed. If it continues I would get a court mediator or something to help you two talk it out. Let your son know too that when he's with daddy he needs to sleep in his own bed or on the couch or whatever. You don't have to go into an elaborate explanation why. Just let him know that big boys sleep in their own beds. It's best to try and keep it civil so your ex can't hold anything against you...I don't know what kind of relationship you and your ex have. Hope everything works out.
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