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Does my son remember his father?
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by PcolaRedHead, Jul 19, 2010
My son was nearly six months old before his father ever chose to meet him or have anything to do with him.  The father was around regularly (a couple of days a week, at least 3 weeks a month) for about 7 months.  Just after my son's first birthday, his father disappeared again, and we haven't heard from him again.  I guess my question is twofold: First, does my son (now 19 months old) remember this man, whom we do not talk about with him anymore?  And, second, if we were to run into him out someplace (grocery store, shopping mall, etc.) would me son recognize him after being apart from him for just over 6 months now?

I know memory is something that probably varies somewhat from one child to another, but I'm just looking for a general idea here.  Being only 19 months old, my son's verbal vocabulary is still rather limited, and this isn't something I can just ask him.  Thank you for any helpful input!
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Member Comments (5)
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by AnnieBrooke, Jul 20, 2010
I don't know what happens subliminally, and little children can recognize people when they meet them again within a short period, but generally speaking, all the books say memory does not develop this early.  When were your earliest memories?  I can remember a few events that must have happened when I was about 3, but nothing definitive earlier.
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by tdtdtdtd, Jul 20, 2010
My guess is yes he has spent a fair bit of time with your son and only six months ago.  Children have good memories this how they learn so quickly.  However,  if your son was never to see his father again I doubt that he would remember him as time goes on.  hope i've helped a bit
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by specialmom, Jul 20, 2010
Hi, the pros say that concrete memories are not developmentally possible before the age of 5.  You may have snippet of memories before that time----------- I do.  Or if a child does something over and over again such as go to the same place for vacation each summer . . . that place will be hardwired into their memory.  Again, it will be in snippets.

Your son may remember him for the time being-------- I'd say another 6 months to a year and then the image will be gone.  They have short term memory but not long term on most things at that age.

Sad situation though.  He might recognize him now but wouldn't in say a year.  
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by sue_perfluous, Aug 18, 2010
Yes - even if he doesn't have occasion to let you know about it.  Even when you're under the age of 5 you can save and retain vivid flashback-type memories - surely we all know that for better or worse!
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by lilbit91, Aug 19, 2010
I wouldn't say yes he will remember him because my daughter didn't meet her dad till she was 2 months old then we split up when she was 10 months old an after a week she didn't kno him she cried when she seen him an she called him by his name an now she is 2 years old an after being around him on an off she knows that's her dad but my son is 16 months old an he done the same to him left him at 6 months old an he defantly knew hhim so prob he will remember him but since he hasn't seen him or u havnt talked about him then probley not