Four year old problems

[n_velk]

My soon has just turned four years old. He has been difficult to raise for the past year and a half due to him not listening to anything, and acting out. I believe some of it is due to the birth of his baby brother (now 9 months).

My question is what I should do about his potty training. He has not been using diapers for 6 months, and has no problems urinating in the toilet. He does not want to have bowel movements on the toilet. He will go most of the time because we have him sit on the toilet during times we think he should go. He doesn't take any initiative with this, and fights us the whole time. He goes through phases where he'll go a week with maybe 1 accident, and then the next week he'll ended up going in his underwear 3 times a day. I've tried rewards and punishments, but nothings seems to get through. This is getting really frustrating because he is already in JK, and I worry that it will interfer with his development.
It seems like he does this on purpose as a way to get a reaction from people (Even though it's negative)

What's your advice to approach this situation considering his attitude?

[specialmom]

both my boys peed easily in the potty long before pooping.  It can take longer and I must say that I doubt he is enjoying when he has an accident.  If that is the only way to get your attention----  then you need to spend more time with him!  More likely, he is just not comfortable doing it yet.  Some kids can be kind of constipated and this makes it a little harder and will take longer to get them to do it.  If that is the case----  add some fruit and fruit juice to his diet (extra than what he is already getting).  I would try to be patient and remember he is still a little guy and doesn't have secret desires to drive you nuts.  He's learning.  And I always think that it is good to do some special things with the older child once in a while to show them they are just as important as the younger one.  Younger ones (like a 9 month old) take more of your time because they need you for everything----  and even though both kids are equally important to you----  the older one just sees that extra time with the younger one.  Lots of kids (and especially boys) take longer to potty train, it will not impede him developmentally.  Unless he has a developmental issue making potty training harder for him----  in which case he deserves even more patience and empathy.  Good luck and they do grow up eventually.  

[babygirl6152]

with my 2 boys they made tinkle first- wait 6 weeks until he is more positive- if he is not ready then wait another 6 weeks etc. The other thing you can do is not give it any attention except:
"ok your play day is over"- bathe him, dress him in his night clothes and give him books, puzzles no more outside play- in other words one set of day clothes, when those are soiled don't make a big deal out of it good or bad- but the day is sort of OVER start fresh the next day....

[AvaTara_539]

My son did not fully potty train until he was 4 years old! Boys can definitely take longer. And I got him a potty for his 2nd birthday and was very regular about it, got him the books, movies, the reward chart and stickers for the pottie, the pee in the cheerio bit, everything. What finally got him doing it was peer pressure from the other boys in daycare.