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How do I get my 4 year old to be more assertive?
My son is a passive little boy around anyone but family.  At home he is a rambunctious 4 year old who isn't afraid to stand up for himself, yet at school and at social events, he is quiet and passive.  He often allows children to "bully" him and often says "they didn't want to play with me".  My fear is that he will never become assertive. He attends school 3 times a week and when I ask him about his day, he refuses to share.  I am at a loss as to what I can do to empower him.  My husband and I show him so much love.  I tell him often that he is smart, beautiful, caring, etc... we hug, we hold, we play, and we may even spoil. I am desperate to give him the tools he needs to become a confident assertive little boy, please help!
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13167 tn?1327197724
What is your husband like? Is he assertive and commanding,  or is he more shy and unassuming?
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13167 tn?1327197724
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535822 tn?1443980380
You are caring for your son in a loving way and he sounds as if he gets a lot of attention from you, how about Dad gets  involved in some Guy Stuff, those Ball Games and Soccer and things we girls mostly like to watch!The way you talk to him will build his self esteem try some out going activitys aswell , and have friends come and Play at the house aswell he made respond on his own Patch more than at school.
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I was just recently given some advice from a friend about helping to build my 2 1/2 year old sons confidence. With my husband and I he is very confident and in fact bossy at times, but when it comes to other situations he clams up. A friend of mine suggested about a month or two ago to have him start paying when we go to a restaurant. So we started giving him the bill and having him take it to the register or hand it to the waitress. This has really helped. He has realized they don't bite and has even started talking to them. He has become more confident with everyone.
You may want to try pushing him to me more assertive when you're with him. This way it gives him confidence, but reassures him because you're still with him.    
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