Need help! Regressive behavior in 2 1/2 year old!

[Abby86]

hello!  I am very concerned about my (almost) 3 year olds recent behavior.  when he was born, i (the Mother) had full custody until he was 2 years old.  In October 2008, we went to court and the judge compltely reversed the custody arrangements because he said i was trying to "excise," the father out of our son's life.  Although this was not the case, and i am an amazing mother who is currently making my way through nursing school (im young, only 23) the judge seemed to want to make an example out of me.  needless to say, i have been without custody of my son since then, and we go back to court at the end of this month for my appeal.  

Now, to the point: my sons behavior has changed, for the worst, dramatically lately.  He is fully potty trained, but here lately while he's throwing a temper tantrum, he tells me hes going to pee on the floor and he thinks its hilarious.  he has peed on the floor more times than i can count, and last weekend he even pooped on my floor.  also, he cusses at me, tells me hes going to shoot me and hits me.  also, when it is time for him to go back to his fathers house, he gets SO upset its hard to even get him dressed.  his behaviors have progressively gotten worse as each month has gone by.  he has gotten more and more upset when its time to go back to his dads house and its really upsetting to see this affecting my young son this way.  I guess i am asking if anyone has any insight into regressive behaviors by children going through a bad custody situation and/or if this type of behavior is him trying to express his feelings of him being upset by the whole situation?  Would this be considered PTSD ?

Thank you!

[babym2]

Hello,


After reading your question it really reminds me of my son, however nothing has changed in our life! His father and i argue but nothing that is extremely bad! He has had the same problems, he will scream hit throw stuff stick his tounge out! And yes he has pooped and peed on the floor, i dont know what to suggest because i am going thru it to so if you come up with anything let me know pls!

[specialmom]

What a sad story.  I'm sorry you lost custody of your child as it sounds like it hurts him.  I do think that such disruption in the life of a child can cause great emotional disturbance.  By the nature of this whole custody thing, that can happen.  Let alone, having a child who stays primarily one place be uprooted to somewhere else.  That is pretty irresponsible of a judge unless they have good reason.  Perhaps video tape him prior leaving you and being upset about going to dads.  Do you have  friendly relationship at all with dad?  I would try to!!!!  This will be the only way that things will really improve as it sounds like his dad will be in this child's life (I guess since you chose to make him the dad, he should be  . . .)  ----  you have to get along.  Then you can have real conversations about what is best for the child.   IE:  maybe cussing around him isn't good.  (as he learned it and all of which you describe he watches in his home).  I hope you have a good lawyer to help you.  SOS for Parents by Lynn Clark is the book that the expert here recommends.  I've read it, it is pretty good.  But before this goes further in terms of irrepairable damage for your son, get this custody issue ironed out, make  peace with dad, and start adding stability to your son's life.  Good luck.