I have written here before asking for help on this particular subject. My son is now 5 years old. Recently, in the last week, he has pooed in his pants 3 times in the night.
He has told me and his mother that going to the toilet is either boring or he doesn't like it. If his mother or me don't tell him to go to the toilet (only to do a poo) then he will just hold it until he farts so much that his room just smells like poo and then we HAVE to tell him to go.
We have tried everything to get him to learn how going to the toilet works. We've explained things in kid terms how the body works and what happens when you don't go to the toilet. We've had a reward scheme. We've had consequences. We've tried to just let him get on with it and work it out by himself. However, none of this worked. It either ended up with us saying "Yay, you've shown us how to do it and that you know when and how to go to the toilet, now you can do it without us" But then after like a day, it reverts back to him holding it all again.
We're at our last resort now, which is buying children's laxatives. I've already explained to him this morning why we are buying them and why he is using them and how they will work. I told him that if this way doesn't work then he has to go to the doctor.
So that's the story (What I can remember from so early in the morning) -
I would like to know theories as to why he has been pooing himself?
Extra info: He got out of diapers around 4-5 months before his 4th birthday. After that, he had a big spout of pooing himself (which is probably expected straight after somewhat). Then he was normal going to the toilet. Then shortly after his 4th Birthday, it started again. Then after a while it stopped. Then we had to start telling him to go to the toilet (often met with NO or I DONT WANT/NEED TOO or crying EVEN when he was farting like crazy and stunk) and then we are to present day.
Sjoe - this is a difficult one. I would try and make a game of it, if he finds it boring, then try and turn it into something that he looks forward to doing. But sorry, right now I can’t seem to think of a way to turn it into a game.
is there something that he really enjoys doing? i.e riding his bike... maybe withhold his favourite activity; for when he goes to the toilet, and have that as a reward.
Does he go to a nursery school? Sometime kids seeing other kids do it might encourage him to also.
I know with my son, i threatened to put him back into nappies and that he was not a big boy anymore, that he was turning back into a baby, he got such a big fright about not being a big boy anymore that it stopped straight away. But he was 3 at the time so not sure if the age makes much of a difference on method.
Last resort would be a physiological reason. If none of the methods work then i would take him to be assessed. Maybe there is an underlying factor that he can’t quite explain to you.
I have an autistic child that had problems with this for two years after he was using the bathroom to pee. With him it was partly to do with the sensory problems associated with his autism plus he was constipated regularly and his bowel stretched because of it. He often just did not realise he needed to go until it was too late, a major shift in his diet was eventually what helped him.
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