Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
Preschool problem
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting toddlers (age 1-5), including physical, speech, sensory, cognitive and emotional development, choosing a daycare/nanny, games & activities, and toilet training.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Preschool problem

My son is 27 months and he had been going to this preschool for almost 3 months. All was good and he was having fun until one day his teacher told me that he won't reply when asked a question, doesn't follow instructions and so on. When he started school, he was kindda potty trained, like he would tell you that he needs to go pee or poo. You put him on the toilet and he would go. But his teacher said that isn't called potty trained. Potty trained means he as to go to the bathroom on his own, take off his own pants, put it back on, flush, wash his hands all on his own. So they tried to make him do that in school, he wouldn't so he would just stand there in the bathroom and freeze. (he won't cry or anything, just freeze) They wanted me to trained him at home to do that on his own and I did, he can pull down his pants and so on but he can't climb onto the toilet cause ours is the adult size not the small school children kind, he needs me to put him on there. Anyways, he can do this now but he needs some help. Then she is saying he doesn't reply back when she talks to him. He talks alot at home, sentences and so on and he will talk to all his classmates when they play but she said he wouldn't talk to her, either he nod his head, shake his head or stare at her blankly. She wants me to talk to him to make him talk to them. He goes fulll day so he would eat lunch in school, he used to eat more than 1 serving but after she complained to me about him (in front of him) he is not eating his lunch. Nothing!! If this teacher isn't in school that day, I realised that he would eat lunch that day. I wonder if this is normal? Is this too much for him? Is he slow or there is something wrong with my son? I know my son can be stubborn at times but not eating lunch at all is a concern to me cause he always have a good and big appetite. Thanks
Related Discussions
8 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
my two cents? they are a. highly inappropriate for discussing him in front of him. and b . they are asking too much of him.    my ped told me not to worry about potty training for a boy until 4. mine is 3.5 and he won't go near the potty at school     he is terrified of this.   the fact that he is clamming up suggests to me that he is anxious in the school for whatever reason.   none of this seems abnormal to me but the preschool might have some issues.    im just a mom, no expert!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thank you, I feel that they are asking too much of him too but they told me that he as to learn to be independent and do things on his own. I mean I was already happy when he knows to ask to go potty but all these others...I don't know....he says he want to go to school and he is always happy when I pick him up but somehow....his teacher complains.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I agree with franksmom... my first son wasn't potty trained till 4 (almost exactly 4).  The pre-school definitely sounds like they are asking too much of him.  Way too much for a 27mth old.  I think it's time to find a different preschool and give your kid a break.  Kids that age don't need that kind of pressure.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Your son is barely 2, I am a mom of 4 boys and none potty trained before 3 and 2 were 4!!  I have also found that we have to be more protective of our boys, lots of teachers and caregivers are definately more partial to girls.  Not saying all are bad, but some certainly are.
Is this  preschool that is optional for you or is this a daycare situation?  2 years old is too young for formal preschool setting.  If the teacher is always complaining about him, I would MOST definitely find a new school!!!!  He will pick up on that and could cause harm for future school.  At 2 yrs old, he should be playing!  He has plenty of life left for school.  Even the most advanced 2 year old has definite verbal limitations, so what the school is expecting is far beyond what you need to demand out of your baby!!  Find a caregiver who loves him just where he is at!

Sorry for all of the exclamation points, I just get a little worked up when I hear how some teachers treat our precious children!  If she can't love him, she doesn't deserve to spend the day with him.  The opportunity to teach your child is a privilage, not an obligation!!!!
Blank
364382_tn?1300245899
My son just turned 3 and it took us almost a year to get it to where he only needs a Pull-up at night.  The first daycare I had him at was a lot like that, trying to force it on him all at once. They also wouldn't even let him have a blanket for naptime.  
If this teacher is being critical of him all the time, he's probably just scared of her! Maybe you should try talking to the director about her easing up and trying to help him more. If that doesn't work you should try to find a different school. Most places actuallly help them learn, not force it on them, and when they're ready, they move to the 'big' class.
Just keep helping him and don't try to force it on him. Little by little he'll start doing more on his own.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
I don't think the problem is with your child at all.  I think the problem is with the preschool teacher.  Your son is potty trained!  When my daughter started preschool, she needed help pulling her pants up.  The teachers were more than happy to help her and would praise her anytime she would do something independantly.  I think this teacher is the issue.  I think she may intimidate your son.  At this age, he needs to feel confident in what he is doing - sounds like she is doing the reverse.  Especially if she is talking to you about this in front of him.  He is withdrawing himself.  This is such a sensitive and impressionable time in his life - my opinion is I would look into another preschool if that's possible.  I think that any qualified childcare giver would know that this is not the way to handle this.  He is completely normal - unfortunatley, he has a teacher making him feel like someting is wrong with him.   Good luck!
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thank you all. I feel so much better now. I was kindda upset, not at my kid but at the teacher. I think they have too many kids in class. Some days their ratio is 2:20, some days is 2:16 cos some kids do part time. I think the teachers are over worked too but I think they don't get it that 2 years olds can't perform as well as 3 year olds. ( both teachers don't have kids on their own)
My son asked me if he could go to school, thats way he is in school at this age, not because of anything but he wanted to go and play with other kids, have fun and socialize. We don't have many friends and relatives with kids. I didn't expect it to be this way :( , all I want is him to have fun, learn some simple stuffs and be happy with the other kids in school. I don't care if he can't count 1-20 or doesn't know his ABC cos eventually he will but the teacher is stressing me out. Like potty training, he took the initiative to not wear diapers and wanting to go pee and poo on the toilet. I was so proud of him ( crazy mommy!!) cos he got the hang of in 2 days and he doesn't have accidents at night too. If he wanna go at night he will wake up and say he wanna go. But because of all this pulling down pants etc. he told me today in the bathroom he is stress about this and I felt soooooooooo bad, I almost cry. I'm not sending him back to this school anymore, this week is the last week. I'll send him to another private school next year but this time I wanna interview the teachers and make sure they know what they are doing. I know he is going to miss the friends he made, he talks about them all the time. But like you all said, this is not a suitable school for him.  
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I know I will only repeat what most of these moms have said, but I have to speak my mind as well. This really upsets me that you have found a teacher who is ruining the experience for both you and your child. Placing your child and choosing the correct daycare was one of the hardest decisions that I have made with my son. Luckily I don't have a teacher like that "teaching" my 24 month old, but I have had a problem with him not taking to a teacher. I stood by for several months and only until I realized he was taking to other teahcers that I went to the director of the center. I expressed my concerns and we tried another classroom. In fact at 18 months he was moved to the 3 year old class. He has prospered since and is doing much better in regards to learning. I think children are very much like adults and need a "connection" with someone to make progress. You certianly don't need a teacher such as this one to have you going backward. Your son is only 27 months old...it's amazing that you have come this far with potty training. Great job on your part! I would try expressing your concerns with the director and tell him/her what has transpired between you and the teacher and how your child doesn't behave like himself around her. Children need to be able to express themselves, it's very important for their creativity and self. Scary, but many of the people who influence his life now help him to become the person he will be. You need to surround him with people who share your values. Good Luck, keep us posted!
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank