SLEEP ISSUES!!! HELP!!! PLZ

[CYW]

Hi, This might not be the proper forum. My DS is 9 months old and for the past 6 weeks he has wanted NOTHING to do with his bed. He slept in my room for about 3 weeks when he was first born and then in his crib in his room from the get go. At 4 months of age he started soothing himself to sleep and going to sleep on his own. He has been teething since he was 6 weeks old and got his first set of teeth at 5 months, 2nd at 7 months and is now getting his 3rd sets right now. Anyways...He will not sleep in his bed.. I have just about tried everything and I don't know what to do.. I feel as though I have failed being a parent. Everyone keeps telling me about how I should be doing this or that etc.. But you know what.. EASIER SAID THAN DONE because first off they have no kids and/or they have never been through it...

I have tried putting him to sleep and then putting him in his bed...I tried sitting beside him, I tried giving him a bottle of water.. I don't want to give him milk.. but I did with me sitting beside him and he is trying to climb out of the crib. If I leave a matress on the floor he will go lay and sleep on his own in the day/night but thats a matress from my bed...He screams continuously, chokes, cries...I know he shouldn't be sleeping with me.. I have even tried letting him cry it out.. 2 days and nothing came of it but a baby with puffy eyes and a black eye because he beat himself over it. Why am I having such a hard time. He just wants to be with me all of the time and I am doing this alone..Not that it's hard and I don't mind having him sleep with me BUT he also needs to sleep in his own bed, in his own room all by himself. He is starting daycare come sept and if this is what will happen he will probably get kicked out of daycare or something...What else can I do???

I have tried thinking every possible reasons but even sleeping in his playpen he does the SAME exact thing... and I will put it with me where I sleep and it's the same old story...

Any thoughts, anyone ever gone through this??? HELP I'm out of ideas..

[lhughes]

Yes, been there...technically still there with my 2 yr old.  She was NEVER a good sleeper, ever.  We tried the cry it out thing which worked for our first daughter.  DD#2 vomited profusely and didn't learn to sleep.

We're now down to me sleeping in their room in their bed with them until they go to sleep, which lately isn't taking very long.  I go back to my bed and sleep.  Around midnight she'll wake up and SOMETIMES I can get her back to her bed without further ado.  Sometimes not and she ends up in our bed.  Then DD#1, feeling left out, comes into our room to sleep the rest of the night.

It's not a restful sleep.  

HOWEVER, here's my good news for you....  DD#2 will sleep at MDO and at the church nursery without fuss.  I think it's because I'm NOT there.  So, I would bet that your son will be similar and do wonderfully at school.  

The general consensus from all I've read and we've attempted to do, is just stick with a routine bedtime and a routine routine to get them there.  Now, in our life, that's kind of impossible, but we try to keep it as close to consistent as possible when we can.

If crying it out won't work, and staying by the crib side won't work, then have you tried moving him from your bed to his crib after he goes to sleep?  Maybe won't get you much, but it might.

I feel for ya....and I totally understand.  Sorry if this is not much help.  Just thought you should know someone else is where you were and has lived to tell the tale.  Just ignore those bags under my eyes.

[lhughes]

PS... one other thing we did try and had minor success with is to create a pallet beside our bed.  They also like to create a pallet on the floor in their room.  I know my kids are older, but maybe a pallet could be another thing to try?  Use a gate (which my daughters HATED with a PASSION!) or block the door in some manner???

[CYW]

Thanks alot it does feel nice to hear that someone has/is there...He was never like this and overall he is a very good baby other than being a momma's boy(I'm always with him and I love it.. I don't mind-BUT he cries if i leave him for 2 minutes) Especially if no one is around or an adult is around.. if children are, he usually is fine...I was told to take the bed rail off and make a daybed with his bed BUT he's at the stage that he is crawling over everything and even with a bed rail I fear he would just flip over it...

I'm sorry to ask but what is a pallet?

[lhughes]

Hey, no problem asking questions...glad to be of assistance, when I can.

Take your mattress and toss it on the floor with some blankets...instant pallet. OR for a lower to the ground pallet, but still comfy enough for a child... we usually put down about 3 quilts as a base and then a blanket or two for cover with a small pillow on the floor.  That way they can have a "big" bed but no worry about falling off onto the floor.  When the babies were real little we would surround the quilts with pillows to make a bit of a container.  Granted, they still got up, but mostly they would sleep pretty good.

My Lauren (dd#2) doesn't want me (or her mimi) out of sight either.  Kathryn (dd1) goes through periods like that, but Lauren seems to always be in that period, it just doesn't seem to end.  I guess if it does, it's short lived.

Advice?  Love 'em as they are... deal with 'em as you can... let 'em sleep with you when nothing else works.  They will grow up, eventually.  Kathryn is much better than a few months ago when Lauren was smaller.  Lauren is getting better, but much slower to adjust than Kathryn.  Each child is different and gotta love 'em for it.  They are the sweetest and sometimes the most frustrating.  But ain't that love?

Your baby boy will grow up fine knowing he's loved enough for you to care enough to make sure he feels safe.  And that's our job.  Make 'em feel safe in a world that's not always safe.

I'm sure you are doing everything right, as I feel there are no wrong answers.  Some answers aren't as "right" for some children as others.  That's what I've learrned between these two...what works for one will not usually work for the other.  Adjustments are made and love goes on.  And I sure do love these kiddos of mine.

It's the call for popcorn and choc-milk.  And, I'm a bad mom...we recently took away bottles and now they are stuck with binks.  Oh well.  And potty training..... it's an ongoing process.

:)  Take care!  

PS... Sorry if I ramble...

[margypops]

Well guys I know a tried and true old Method if you can do it and not give in. First make sure they arent having too much sleep as daycares and Moms put kids to sleep half the day then expect them to go and sleep most of the night aswell. Even 9month olds like picture books, at bedtime read him a story ,then put him into his crib leave the room, he will yell,if you can bear it ignore it and eventually he will sleep,Trust me nothing will happen to him.When they are older have been sharing beds and all the other good stuff, give them a bed and put them into bed, they will get out and come to find you, quietly take them back ,over and Over if you have to, it will work . ..eventually and be consistant , trouble is most Moms cant bear to do it.