Hi Moms. I was wondering what everyone's opinion is on spanking. Is it ok? My belief is that it is ok if not done in anger..Do you guys think it is ok to spank over your knee?...I do . I think it gives more of a meaning. I am looking forward to getting to know all of you...Cards
I've never found it necessary to spank. My children mind very well without physical punishment. I have two boys that are 15 months apart and the oldest has sensory integration disorder. He is a difficult child and is now 6. My younger son is 5 and also can be quite a handful. I've never found that it was necessary to spank them. I never quite got it---------- "don't hit so I will hit you." They don't like to disappoint me and that is a great bargaining chip for behavior.
I view discipline as necessary to guide and teach vs. punish. They may sit in time out, lose an item that goes into a time out spot or lose an activity. They actually respond better to a positive form of parenting in which they are praised and made to feel really good for doing the right thing. "make good choices" is a phrase you hear all the time at my house.
Anyway, one of my favorite books for two active, energetic little boys "Hands are not for Hitting." I guess I just felt like I was a hypocrite if I was the one doing the hitting.
But to each his own.
No I dont think I ever hit a child , and thats what spanking is , it sends a message to the child that its okay for him to hit others , after all he sees his parents doing it, must be okay ...I like the time out method when they are old enough and also taking away a privilege .....
It is never good to spank a child. yes it is easier.... however it causes major phscological damage.. nerve damage... trust issues..... and kills a childs self esteem.... I was hit and i promised id never hit my children .. it isnt easy but i have done it. you dont want your kids associating love with violence.... fear is nottttt love. how do you want her husband to treat her? anyway it is illegal for a reason. Yes much harder to control them but in the long run you want to raise healthy happy individuals. Every thing you do will effect them for life... and I dont believe you can be hit with out anger.... struggling tooo,
I think if the child is old enough to understand instructions then physical punishment is not good. Time out and reward / reward withdrawal will be much more effective and teach the child useful self control.
Hitting is just developing aversion.... plus the I'm bigger than you so I can hit you. But don't you hit anyone else hypocrisy.
For a very young child, doing something dangerous that they must not do, a pat on the butt (never in anger) aimed to startle (not to hurt) when they are in the middle of the act, may have an occassional role.
I would have to say that I personally was raised with parents that spanked. Now I will admit, with my first child after he became about 3 or 4 years old I did the pop on the bottom routine but I quickly started to figure out that it was not doing anything but making him realize "if momma doesn't see me do it..I wont get popped" it was not giving the effect I was looking for. Another thing that caught my attention to it was the fact that he got to where if another child was not doing what he thought was right he would swat them on the bottom and wiggle his finger at them.
So I changed my ways. I am now full force with the time out or taking advantages away first. I also got to the point where I ask him or his sister many times "What did momma say?" and "what happens when you do not do what momma said?". I've noticed more with my daughter (whom is 3) that she is learning quickly what is wrong just from me asking these questions! WHAT A HUGE DIFFERENCE LET ME TELL YOU!
<3 Parenting is a tough job! But someone has to do it! ALL HAIL MOMMIES AND DADDIES! <3
I know spanking is seen as wrong but it never did me any harm! as long as its controlled and only used when all else fails. Sometimes spanking is the only thing that works. The thaught/treat of a spanking often deterrs the child. Having said this, i hate the guilty feeling i get after i spanking my child, and i hate that my child sometimes fears me because of it. I've cut spanking dow to the odd ocasion now.
I gues its up to the parent- some children are harder to diciplinr than others!
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