Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
Traumatic for Daughter
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This patient support community is for discussions relating to the challenges of parenting toddlers (age 1-5), including physical, speech, sensory, cognitive and emotional development, choosing a daycare/nanny, games & activities, and toilet training.

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Traumatic for Daughter

Hello, I have a question about my daughter.  Her mother left me and took my daughter when she was just 5 weeks old.  She is now 16 months old and I have only seen her once.  Her mother is across the country and was in Puerto Rico, so I can't have weekends or anything of the sort (I am in California).  I want to start taking my daughter to be with me for extended periods of time.  I'm thinking a month or more several times a year.  I wish it was to be with me always but I won't get into that.  My fear up to this point is that she is so young and dependent on her mother and loves her so much that it could be traumatic for her to be flown away for long periods to be with me.  Which brings me to my question, would that type of visitation arrangement be traumatic to her or hurtful at this age?  If so, when would she be old enough to understand that she is going to spend time with Daddy for a while and she will see Mommy soon?

Any help or suggestions will be greatly appreciated.  I need to know my daughter and she needs to know her father, it is just crushing me.
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Yes, that would be very traumatic for a little one.  That creates an unstable enviroment for her that she can't count on.  Unfortunetely, your best bet to keep a relationship and her mental health at its best is for you to spend ALL of your spare money and time and go and see her.  It is sad when a mother makes it so inconvenient for the father to be a part of a child's life as who wouldn't want a dad who cares to be involved to be there?  But that is the reality and now you must do damage control.  Don't do damage by disrupting this babies life.  I'd say until at least 2, taking her for months at a time away from mom is out of the question.  My opinion-----  but remember, instability in a young child's life lead to mental issues down the road.  Proven fact.  Good luck and I commend you for trying to be a part of things.
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