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behavior with 5 year old son and step dad
Generally my five year old son and fiance get along great. My fiance seems to think my 5 year old is disrespectful to him sometimes. For example, I work days, fiance works nights, and my son is in half day kindergarten, so he gets home at 11am. He has been told that he needs to wake fiance up when he gets home. He is usually good about this, but recently he just peeked in the room, stated that he was home and shut the door. My fiance thinks he did this because he (my son) would rather do his own thing, then deal with him (fiance). I think it is a situation that just needs clarification, but fiance believes that this is because my son disrespects him. We have had several arguments about this, and I believe that he is reading into it too far. I feel that because fiance is more strict, that my son hasn't formed a good relationship with him yet; like maybe he isn't quite comfortable with him yet. I am just wondering if I am being unrealistic, or if finace is setting expectations for a five year old too high.
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136956 tn?1425609872
First of all a child at five is just learning to test boundries, your fiance needs to take a step back and not take it personally he is just 5yrs old.  At 5 yrs old a child does want to do there own thing.  I think he is acting normal for his age but your fiance isnt.  He obviously doesnt have children and he doesnt know how to take them and he seems to want control him but he cant control a 5 yr old.
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155534 tn?1275415855
I think your fiance needs to approach the situation differently, and not be so defensive.A 5 yr old isn't reading that much into it, and neither should your fiance. This is a much harder transition for your son ,emotionally, than it is for your fiance.He's only 5. And just my opinion...your fiance needs to set an alarm clock, and not count on a 5 yr old to wake him up...He might be afraid to wake him up, because he might be afraid that he will get in trouble, or the step dad might be mad at him for waking him up, even if he has been told to do it...your not there, and he might feel intimidated by your fiance. You can get an alarmclock for 5 dollars at walmart.
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I am a little confused - how is your 5 year old getting home? - he is too young to walk home from school or even to get himself off the bus and let himself into the house.  Why is it his responsibility to wake up your fiance?  He is five and your fiance is (presumably) an adult!  He (fiance) should invest in an alarm clock, get himself up, and be waiting for your son when he gets off the bus or be picking him up from school.  What if your son never made it home? If your fiance is sleeping, it might be hours before any realized your son was missing.  If your fiance can't handle this responsibility then I would seriously consider letting him into your son's life as a stepfather....
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