is sexual acts in toddlers normal or is that way to young for pre teen-adult exploring?

[sdc86]

my lil boy just turned 4 and this the third time he his acted out in a sexual way once with a older girl and more reccently with boys.he does not hide to do these things the most reccent  was at daycare in the bathroom with lots of other kids.one lil boy was using the bathroom and he was cought by him in the floor on his knees with his mouth open and near his penis.whebn asked what he was doing he clamly and carefree said trying to lick it.i donot understand this at all,could this be because we and his dad got divored?and i'm with someone new?i'm not sure because his dad was in the army when we were married so he was usually gone and we were divorced befor he was two and i been with the guy i'm with for almost two years and all this happened within 6 months?could something have been done to him or is he just mis behaving or what please help

[sue_perfluous]

I really wouldn't worry about this.  The truth is, very young kids have been acting like this sinec time immemorial, out of simple curiosity about the human body.  We're more paranoid about it nowadays because of the rightward political drift in society and the attendant over-anxiety about pedophilia and about "sexualisation of children" (which is mostly a myth, if you ask me!)

All you need to do for your son is tell him it's extremely rude to do that (and maybe in this case you could say "dangerous" or "unhygienic").  just...treat it as a misdeed like any other.

[specialmom]

Yes, most likely this is learned behavior.  Sorry to say-----  natural things occur where they discover their own parts and sensations there within but what you describe is not ----  and I repeat NOT----  normal.  I'd consult your pediatrician right away to get to the bottom of it.  

I'm a mother of a 4 year old boy and a five year old boy----  know lots of kids and this is not normal exploration.  A poke and a giggle I could buy----  but not what you describe.  And if it continues, other parents that are told of this will complain.  It is a documented fact that kids that have been molested go on to molest other children.  Not okay.  Please seek help for your child.  Good luck.

[margypops]

I agree with specialmom , this is not normal behavior in a small child this has been seen /learned it would be good if you supervised any visitshe has , check out older babysitters, and be aware , some expert advice would be the best thing.Ask him quietly so he doesnt feel upset, remember it isnt his fault, if anyone has done these things to him.

[RockRose]

I agree with those who say this isn't normal.

Normal exploration for his age would be to want to look,  and possibly touch,  other's private parts - usually girls parts.  

For him to get on his knees and try to lick another boy's penis is learned behavior,  in my opinion.

[Sarah1013]

Like the others said, not normal. you need to look into this.

[Victoria01]

I agree, this is NOT normal behavior. I have a 3 1/2 yr old son and while he does 'explore' his own body, what you are describing goes way beyond that. The only way your son would know about what he is doing is if he has seen it or has been involved with it. Please get some help for him, but do NOT blame him. It is not his fault.

[CrzyBeautiful1]

I know exactly how you feel right now. I also have a 4 yr old son, and this happened with us too, and I was freaking out. My son has been going to a behavior therapist that he started seeing along with his speech therapy a year ago. His father and I are also divorced, but we have been divorced for a little over a year now, so my son remembers him very well and was having alot of trouble adjusting to the divorce. Anyway, one day I was cooking dinner, and my 2 yr old daughter was in the kitchen with me. All she had on was a t-shirt and diaper. She had dropped a toy and when she bent over to pick it up, my son got behind her and pulled his underwear down and put his penis on the back of her diaper. I didn't get onto him or anything...I didn't know what to do. I completely freaked out to myself though. I too worried that maybe something happened to him. I immediately called his behavior therapist and he told me not to worry. He said that kids this age are very curious with their private parts, and that what he did was probably something he saw on tv or something. I know he didn't see this at my house, but I can't speak for other places. Your son could have very well learned that from another kid at his school who saw it or something. I took my son in for an appointment with his behavior therapist, and he took out 2 baby dolls (1 male, 1 female) and explained the difference between boy and girl and just explained to him that we don't touch other people's private areas and they don't touch ours. And he told him that if anyone ever did, to tell Mommy. He pointed out the private areas on the doll to show him where we aren't to touch. So have a talk with him, and I would definitely call his doctor and see what he/she suggests.

[Sarah1013]

while I agree he could have seen this on tv or something I still think it should be a concern until sexual abuse is outruled. You never know so its better  to be safe than sorry.

[CrzyBeautiful1]

Oh, I agree. Thats exactly what I first did with the therapist.

[pwoods320]

I went thru this with my now 14 yr old boy I hate to say this but you really do need to nip this in the bud my son went on to do this at an age where he tried to with a younger child and so on this is a learned behavior wether its tv or accidently observing u with ur partener he needs therapy and teach him difference between good touch bad touch children normally are curious but the touching and such u describe is more of what an older child would have a younger child do with coaxing and praise so now he is doing it with other children please get him to a therapist and try to find the other child/adult who taught this to ur son