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my 4 year old son likes to rub on my body..help
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my 4 year old son likes to rub on my body..help

I have a son how just turned 4 on the 10th of june...I can no longer change my clothes. With him around or get into a bathing suit with out him rubbing all over my legs and my stomach...then he will hug all over me saying mommy you are so soft...if he happens to walk in on my changing clothes he will just stare and talk about seeing my breast or my butt...he know all of his body part and he knows mommies are different and he can't touch them but it still gives me a weird feeling that I can't wear shorts around him because he rubs all over my legs...could this just be a comfort thing...I know its not sexual because he is just exploring but how can I get him to stop obsessing over my body
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209987_tn?1418913008
That's a tough one.
I would try something different...the next time he does this, pick him up and hug him.
Don't let him rub against you , especially if you're in public.
Just pick him up and cuddle him...see what happens. If he starts trying to fondle your breast or anything then you must use a firm voice and tell him that this is not acceptible behaviour. Tell him that hugs are one thing, but this is different.
If he's doing it just because he wants the closeness, then the hugs should satisfy him.

You may have to explain that this is a mommy and daddy type of touch and not a mommy and son type of touch.
I used to let my youngest one ( who was a year old at the time) touch my body. I thought that it would do no harm. We took him swimming and he started trying to touch other mommies breasts.
I put a stop to it that night and everytime he would try to touch me I would move his hand to my face or arm. It worked.
My son was only a year old and I felt uncomfortable...I can only imagine how you feel.
SHOW him what is acceptable...not what isn't...he's already doing what "isn't".
Touch his face, give him a hug, etc...as long as you show him what you find to be ok.
If you don't want him touching you in certain ways then you must not touch him in those
ways either.  If you rub his leg, he'll rub your's.
Good luck
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12 Comments Post a Comment
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209987_tn?1418913008
That's a tough one.
I would try something different...the next time he does this, pick him up and hug him.
Don't let him rub against you , especially if you're in public.
Just pick him up and cuddle him...see what happens. If he starts trying to fondle your breast or anything then you must use a firm voice and tell him that this is not acceptible behaviour. Tell him that hugs are one thing, but this is different.
If he's doing it just because he wants the closeness, then the hugs should satisfy him.

You may have to explain that this is a mommy and daddy type of touch and not a mommy and son type of touch.
I used to let my youngest one ( who was a year old at the time) touch my body. I thought that it would do no harm. We took him swimming and he started trying to touch other mommies breasts.
I put a stop to it that night and everytime he would try to touch me I would move his hand to my face or arm. It worked.
My son was only a year old and I felt uncomfortable...I can only imagine how you feel.
SHOW him what is acceptable...not what isn't...he's already doing what "isn't".
Touch his face, give him a hug, etc...as long as you show him what you find to be ok.
If you don't want him touching you in certain ways then you must not touch him in those
ways either.  If you rub his leg, he'll rub your's.
Good luck
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1664685_tn?1333731082
I do cuddle with my son a lot but its usually when we are sitting on the couch watching tv and w ill have my arm around him and rub his lower leg..but he only seems intrested in rubbing my legs when I'm changing my clothes..I try to keep door closed when I change but he seems to know when I'm changing and comes in...my son is a big mommy's boy and always wants to be around me...I have tried to explain to him touching mommy in that way is not ok and touching other people that way is not ok...he seems like he understands but continues to stare at me...and I know its not from his not knowing what is differnt about my body than his because he knows all of boys and girls body parts..I'm just so uncomfortable undressing in my house because I know my son is going to watch and say things like I see your butt mommy or I see your boobies or rub on my legs and stomach...
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you considered locking your bedroom and/or bathroom door when you are changing your clothes?  Also, are you clothes conservative and not provocative?  Just wondering ....
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1664685_tn?1333731082
I don't have locks on my doors in my home because I don't want my son to accidently lock himself in somewhere...and no I don't dress provocative...even so I highly doubt this is sexual just because of his age...he just turned 4 on the 10th...
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518733_tn?1333020615
my 2 yr old dd is the some about my breasts she was bf until just before her 2nd bday and every time she sees my with my top of she asks about my breasts i just say ' there mummys boobies your a big girl and dont need them now' i try not to make a big deal about it, she often trys to put her hands down my top and i just take her hand not and say 'no thankyou' i think its properly a comfort/sensory thing! ur his mummy and like a baby wants skin to skin that may be just what he likes for comfort! just try not to make a big deal and explain that some things arnt appropriate
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1718217_tn?1309845024
I really doubt this is sexual, kids are just curious about things like the human body. Just be firm with him and tell him that he isn't supposed to touch you like that...my son is 3 and he knows that Daddy, Mommy and doctors are only allowed to touch me there, he knows when I need privacy and when he is allowed to be with me...just be consistant...hope this helped, you shouldn't worry!
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1664685_tn?1333731082
Thank you so much for all your help...
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Avatar_f_tn
I have the same problem with my child, he rub on me and touch me every part of my body.  At first I ignored him but then it make me feel weird I do not want to make him feel that it is bad so I explain that he do not supposed to do that to nobody because it is private.  I think it is working, it haven't stop completely but it is happening less times.  Every time he want to do it I tell him it is ok to hug mommy but do not rub on mommy, I tell him I do not like it
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5549102_tn?1376526273
My son is 20 months and first the same thing with my legs. And chased me around the room trying to feel on them. His daddy thought it was funny. I certainly didn't.
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Avatar_f_tn
Idk if this will help but my daughter would touch my breast or leg or say similar stuff and I would love her hand or tell her to please back up cuz mommy is changing and I will hold or cuddle her after and when she would say things like that she saw my butt or my boob then I would say yes thats mommys boob or yes that's mommy butt now please go play or I would ask her if she wanted to play with told or something and I would tell her to go in there and I would be in after I got dressed. I never really made a big deal about it. Now she is 3 and will be 4 in 8 months and if she sees me naked she don't stare and she don't touch and if she does I tell her don't touch thats mommys and she don't or she stops and if anything she says mommy your pretty and I say thank you. But I feel that the more you make things a big deal the more they will do it..my opinion...hope this helps at all
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Avatar_f_tn
Idk if this will help but my daughter would touch my breast or leg or say similar stuff and I would love her hand or tell her to please back up cuz mommy is changing and I will hold or cuddle her after and when she would say things like that she saw my butt or my boob then I would say yes thats mommys boob or yes that's mommy butt now please go play or I would ask her if she wanted to play with told or something and I would tell her to go in there and I would be in after I got dressed. I never really made a big deal about it. Now she is 3 and will be 4 in 8 months and if she sees me naked she don't stare and she don't touch and if she does I tell her don't touch thats mommys and she don't or she stops and if anything she says mommy your pretty and I say thank you. But I feel that the more you make things a big deal the more they will do it..my opinion...hope this helps at all
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Avatar_m_tn
Do you have significant concerns that you son may seriously sexually assault you?
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