i have a 5 year old girl and a 15 month year old boy. My daughter's first problem ( wetting herslef) started when i was 6 month pregnant and she was about 4, she started wetting herseld a little, she would hold of on going to the bathroom until it was too late, and go run to the bathroom, but she would have already gone a little in her underwear.
when my son was born, we moved to a new state a month later, at that point, she was fully wetting herself constantly, and i figured it's a regrassion thing because of all the change. So we ( me and my husband) looked it up and researched it and figured out the ways to deal with it, we became super extra involved with her and did a lot of extra activites and stuff. and it did subsudise for a long while but never to the level of stoping completely. It went form being a 5/6 thing a day to a once a week. And then now, months later, it has picked up again, and she is wetting more and more. And she was also developped lying with that, first she would go change her cloth or underware and tell me she didn't do anything and i would find the dirty underware in the dirty cloth basket. and then now she just lies about eveerything, even when she wants to color she would say her friend from school asked her to do it for her and that is not the case. She rarelly does wet herself at night, maybe twice or three a month .
I should add that she is a very sensitive girl, cries for little thing, very talkative and outgoing, social and friendly, doesn't seem to manifest any jealousy from her brother. i don't know how to react to both of those issues. the wetting thing is starting to drive me crazy and i don't know which way to handle it, and the lying think is scaring me because i don't want her to get in the habbit of lying and maybe lying to me about something important
I think her lying is because she is embarrassed. Have you taken her to the doc?? Perhaps there is a medical problem. I know my brother had an overactive bladder (or something like that) until he was about 12 or 13. Literally wet the bed every night (soaked) and would urinate during the day too. VERY embarassing for him. He didn't want to go to school nor did he want to have sleep overs at his friends. Having friends at our home was okay though. They finally had to put him on meds. It eventually corrected itself.
Continue to tell her you are there for her as she needs reassurance. Tell her that lying won't help. You need to work together to get this under control. Perhaps there is something on her mind too.
It sounds like she is lying to protect herself. I don't mean physically, but if she FEELS she is being punished for wetting herself then she is going to do everything she can to hide it from you. I would definitely get her checked out medically to rule out anything there. It sounds like there were a lot of changes for her, new baby, move, ect...and even though she may not be showing jealousy on the outside, it may be manifesting physically as the potty issue. You said it had stopped or slowed when you became more involved with her and giving her extra attention. Did you stop giving her that extra attention?
her lying is not related to the wetting thing. She always get extra attention and stuff. she's a bit of a drama queen but a very good girl, every thing is a major upset for her, even like the tinniest thing. i talked to her doc and she said to put pull ups on her and i'm completley against that because i think that will make it worse. I don't want her to feel bad about wetting, and she rarelly wets at night, it's mostly a little in the day ( not all the way to her pants) and when i don't give it any attention it slows down.
I agree with you on the pull ups things. I never used them with my son because they felt too much like a diaper. It sounds like she looking for the negative attention and you are doing the right thing by not making a big deal out of it. Have to tried giving her bathroom breaks throughout the day like a timer or just a set time when she need to try and use the potty so that she hopefully won't feel the need to wet during the day at all?
I agree. She may not react to the signal during the day fast enough to make it to the bathroom and hence wets herself a little. (heck, after two kids----- I can occasionally have that problem . . . Okay too much info------ but my point is, I can see how this happens) I would try doing reminders often---- asking her to use the potty at intervals throughout the day. Do it often enough, she'll empty out that bladder and be less likely to have an accident. I do think she started lying to protect herself. Somehow I think the other lying is related. I think that next time she tells a silly lie----- don't get mad. But ask her about it. Tell her that she does NOT have to lie to you about anything that you won't get mad or upet if she tells you the truth (this may take some willpower if she does something you really are going to be upset about . . .but you are trying to teach her that it is safe to be honest with you.). Tell her how if she doesn't tell the truth too many times, then you might not believe her sometime that she IS telling the truth. (boy who cried wolf type of thing). I do think lots of kids lie at that age and I read that it is actually like a stage that most kids go through. Just show her she doesn't have to lie to you and why it isn't a good thing. Good luck
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