nappy dependancy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[confusedmum]

my son is 3 years old, he is toilet trained, but will only use the toilet for weeing. he wont poo on the toilet or potty AT ALL. both myself and my partner have tried allsorts to encourage him from bribary to telling him all his friends do it in the toilet to emptying his nappy down the toilet to show him where it goes!!!! yet he refuses. he will only poo in his nappy.....at nite time, before bed. i am worried because i fear he is holding it in all day until its close to bedtime when he can have a nappy on. i dont want him to cause himself any problems if he is holding it in. i have no idea why he is scared of pooing on the toilet and have considered giving him laxatives but not sure its the right thing to do. people say it will pass, but hes at nursery now n close to 3 1/2 and still pooing in a nappy!!!! any advice would be greatly appreciated.

confusedmum!!!!!!!!!!!

[confusedmum]

help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jan66]

I had the same with 2 of my boys and with both I used 4 as a deadline. I said well beforehand that once he turned four he could not use a nappy because well kids of 4 dont. Bring it in a sort of laughy way as if the whole idea of a four year old doing a pooh in a nappy is the most silly thing in the world. Keep reinforcing the idea. Get a toilet seat with steps and handle bars and again keep reinforcing this idea of a deadline. Say things like Wow this is what you will be using when you are four, isnt that cool. 4 year olds dont use nappies do they (pretend you are laughing at a joke) no that would be so silly. A four year old in nappies? rediculous.
When he turns four stick to it. The deadline will be well in his head. He will agree by that time in thought but he will still try and fight it once the moment arrives. Whatever happens then stick to your guns. No tantrum nothing should make you buckle. No matter what happens he is 4 and the nappies are out.
Go to your GP get some senna leaf tea so make sure he really needs to go.
Then introduce the idea of the tummy teasers. If he keeps up his pooh he will get a tummy ache. Tell it is the tummy teasers who causing cramps. We can get rid of them by pooing them out then we win. They want to stay in your tummy and cause cramps but if we pooh them out they cannot cause pain.
If he is trying pretend to be a tummy teaser and start going: oh those tummy teasers are not happy they are going: nooo this boy it trying to pooh us out no no, we want to stay here and make more cramps.
It turns the whole situation far more light hearted. It worked with both my kids. My youngest likes to have a little table in front of the toilet and will sit and play, colour or look at pictures in books.
The toilet seat with the steps is very important though because it gives them a sense of security.\
Good luck, you can do it, just make it light hearted and matter of factly. They want to learn about life from you.