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sexual curiosity?
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sexual curiosity?

I walked into our living room today and caught my 2 year old daughter on top of my 5 year old son. He was holding her and humping her!

His pants were on but unbuttoned.

I explained to him that what he did was wrong because it was for grown ups only and not for children.

I also told him that people don't do that to their brothers or sisters.

He seems to be very interested in his sister and I know that he's touched her before and I thought I took care of it.

I've even caught him peeking at me in the bathroom throught the keyhole in the door.

Why is he so curious?

I no longer let them take baths together and they are not allowed to be naked unless they are taking baths or getting dressed.

He has shown her his private areas before. I just think that this is NOT normal curiosity and that somebody at some point has done something to him. I just have a bad feeling.

I'm not sure what else to do or what direction to go with this.

Should I talk to a doctor?

What else should I explain to both of them?

I'm so shocked and at a loss of what to do next.
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340493_tn?1197708436
Wow yeah that does sound suspect and makes me wonder if someone has done something to the little boy or if he has somehow  been exposed to inapropriate adult movies/videos and now wants to imitate what he has seen. I would definately talk to a professional and keep up with not allowing them to bathe together or see each other without clothes.  It does seem like something more is going on.  
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You are very "lucky" it was only your daughter and she is young enough to be taught that his behavior is inappropriate. If your son did that to my daughter I would most likely ask child protective services to get involved.  Im not syaing your a bad parent, but hes seen, or has had something done to him to make him want to do that. What if he is 10 years old and doing this to a 5 year old??? You HAVE to think of these things now and stop questioning. Todays sexual liberations are so out of control we are actually asking ourselves if kids humping (naked!) is normal!!??? Get your son and maybe your family some therapy.
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355017_tn?1196980073
Hi Emilka:

Well, I am not sure what he is doing should be termed as "wrong."  I've read many times that around his age, children become very naturally sexually curious.  They often times will experiment with their peers or other children (like your daughter), but this is supposed to be harmless.  I don't think you should scare him/them.  What you did was right - removed them from the situations.  I believe that most children who have been sexually molested, would exhibit inappropriate sexual behavior with adults.  However, I am not an expert on any of this - I just read a great deal as I have  a small child as well and need to be as well informed as possible.  
Before you become alarmed, just observe him a bit longer to distinguish if it is just natural sexual curiosity or something more.  I remember that as a young child - about his age, I was definitely curious about the kids around me - both boys and girls - and I  always wanted to "see" their penises and vaginas.  I also used to kiss a little boy my age, that went to daycare with me.  It was normal and over time, I grew out of it..but they certainly shouldn't be frightened out of it - you don't want to create sexual dysfunction in your kids.

I am sure everything will be fine.

Best -

Member, Kimaling
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356664_tn?1207057990
heya emilkat64850 i dont know if this will help but i am a psychology student at college, i have just been learning about the stages children go through as they grow, sexual expreiences are part of young children growing, this will not affect how they behave in the future.
from the age of one, children go through stages...(forgot what it called) but at the age of one to two, they discover they can go to the toilet, and ae interested in how..from the age of two they discover they have different parts to the oposite sex and are intrigued to find out how and why
as any mother should know, children learn by touching and feelng, and by your son touching your daughter he is just discovering whats what
i know this may sound disturbing but it is natural. every child goes through the same stages, some more than others.

if it helps, i went through a stage like this with my brother, we used to share a room. i was extremely young, and didnt even know what sex was..but i let my brother feel my vagina, and he let me feel his privates. this put me at ease and i never done it again. another memorie i have of this sort of behavior is when i shared a bed with my mum;s friend's daughter, i had seen a couple snogging on tv and wanted to try it, so i asked the girl for a kiss, then snogged her.

when i look back i find this disturbing but after researching i found it was normal and natural for people to go through a stage like this when very young. you have nothing to worry about. your son is young, confused and wants to explorex

i wil try and remember the name of the guy who done the research (i better remember before my exam)!!!

if you need any more help email me x
hope this has helped x
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355017_tn?1196980073
Hi Emilka -

It's me, Kimaling again.  I hope that by now, you are feeling much better about this situation.  

I just remembered that when I was studying child psychology, I recall that Freud spoke of children's sexuality and even went as far as saying that as children, we are all bisexual until we figure out which path we want to chose based on our sexual preferences.  This is the reason that small girls and boys will touch or kiss each other without the slightest bit of guilt or inhibition. It is not wrong - simply normal.

Take care!

Kimaling
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Avatar_f_tn
This is a concern to be taken very seriously.  I think you owe it to your son and daughter to get professional advice on this.  My very unprofessional opinion is that it's natural for children to be curious.  We don't want to make them feel dirty when they are expressing their curiosities.  However, the fact that he has touched your daughter, is reason for concern.  For your daughters sake, she can't be the one he learns on.  Usually, curiousity doesn't consume them - it's a brief encounter.  I think the best thing is to talk to your doctor about this.
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Thank you everyone for your input. My husband and I talked it over and concluded that I may have overreacted a little and that it is probably normal. We do feel as though our son has perhaps seen a movie that was inappropriate and was just copying what he had seen. There's no way to tell for sure. But he certainly didn't see it here. We decided to just keep a closer watch on the two and take more preventative steps. If it occurs again I think I'll bring it up with the pediatrician.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am a single full time dad and I don't think that something has happend to him. They mimic what they see and every thing on tv these days are swearing and sexual I would say make sure you be carefull on what your kids watch on tv. I have a comment about the person who said they would get cps involved you are a dangerous person you can ruin people lives and I hope that you think twice before you do these things to inoccent people I would talk to the parent and share my concerns with them. I am just saying that reporting to cps should only be done in known abuse because you can heart other people and we as a whole need to support each other.
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I just have to say first that nlamb71 is way out of line and I seriously feel sorry for anyone that has ever confided in her about anything personal in their lives. How would she or he feel if her daughter was the one exploring with our children and we called cps for a very what seems to be natural thing!!! There are millions of people out ther wondering the same thing we are... Is it normal??? Studies show YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! That nlamb71 is probably going to vote for our next president of the united states GOD HELP US ALL!!!!!!

That person is still living in 1920 and has no idea what goes on in the outside world.... It was the 70's folks that started liberating!!! We 80"S kids just did what we were taught.

Anyway now that I got that off my chest.......

I too am having an issuse with my soon to be 4 yr old "exploring". He has a 5 yr old cuz and a 3 yr old cuz both are boys. He also has a 3 yr old friend down the street he plays with everyday. She is girl and they do not play what my son refers to as "sex". I am almost starting to think that maybe his father is gay and hasn't come out of the closet. Or is it just because he feels more comfortable around boys... he only sees his dad 2x a week. My son has been educated on "private parts" and also inapropriate sexual behavior. I guess I just don't know what else to do other than ask his doctor.  Could it be, you think that I am not spending enough quality time with him?  I am a single mom who works alot of hours, he has a full time nanny who is his grandma. I guess I am super confused. We are a christian family and he gets sooooo much love and attention, more from his grandma cause she is more involved in every day activities. Any advice for me????
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Talk to your son about what he is hearing, seeing and doing. Ask him how it makes him feel to do these things. Share with him your reaction. I'm assuming from your note that you have talked with him about his private parts and the private parts of others not being touched or shown to and by anyone, other than you, his grandma and the doctor. Mostly, provide more supervision when these children play together. Use it as an opportunity to open up communication with your child about this important part of life. There are Christian-value children's ooks written on this topic.
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355017_tn?1196980073
Hi Emilka:

I am so happy to see that everything is okay with your family and that although you are still a bit concerned, the reality is that kids explore all of the time.  It really is natural.  Some true causes for concern, which I've read about, would be inappropriate sexual play with adults (the child would initiate it), overly inappropriate touching of private areas (like penetration of fingers/objects, etc).

For member, Missy1980, I agree with some of the comments that member, SL345 has made.  You really need to get into your son's head and start asking some serious questions about his environment - when/when you're not around.  I don't want alarm you, but have you checked his anal area to see if everything's okay down there as well?  Just remember that it is OKAY for him to explore and touch himself and kids do explore with each other - at this point, there is no opposite sex - yes they understand that there are boys and girls, but when it comes to exploring sexually, children are very neutral and it is an innocent act.  Please don't scare him - many children that are frightened away from exploring themselves, etc often turn out to be sexually dysfunctional adults.  It's natural and they should be allowed to discover who they are.  

I trust that the outcome will be positive.

Member - Kimaling
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You are insane!! I think that it is completely unfair to single out nlamb71 for what was said. If some kid was touching my little girl, your darn right I would involve someone who could make sure that the appropriate meaures were taken to keep it from happening again!! Plus, don't you think that CPS would be just a tad more qualified to handle it than you, and if nothing was going on, then there would be no ramifications. In this day in age, you can't be too careful. I know of a 10-year-old girl from our city that gave birth! 10! I will be darned if my little girl is going to end up pregnant at 10 because SHE was the victim of some little boy's "sexual curiosity"! If you don't want the authorities to be involved in your life, then don't give them a reason to be. Besides, if all your laundry's clean, then you shouldn't mind it being strung on the line. Now, if your little boys going 'round touchin' other little kids' privates, then I could see a reason for concern. Just because you read it's okay, how do you know that the suitable boundaries haven't been breached? How do you know that saying it's appropriate and leaving it there isn't going to allow your kid to be a rapist or something, because Mommy said "It's okay!" Seriously. Don't hate on other people for wanting to protect their kids. If your kid is the VICTIM and you don't want to call CPS, then so be it. But, don't put down and single-out others for doing it.
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CPS can damage a family wrongfully.  They take children away first, and ask questions later.  CPS should not be involved with a child that age, not if it is just natural behavior.  You as a parent can make sure that your child would never be with the other one that has the *curiosity*.  You don't call CPS first and talk about it later.  You remove your child, and then talk to the other children's parents about their behavior.  If you have an inkling there might be abuse, then you could do what you could to protect the innocent child.  And I don't just mean yours.  Children are innocent, and sometimes are taught bad behavior by things done to them.  Sometimes it is normal, natural behavior.  Please do some researching and reading before you decide to haul in the authorities.
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I agree...we have to remember here people that he was 5! 5! It is not the appropriate thing to do to overreact and call CPS...A 5 year old does not have the intellectual compacity to understand what he is doing... I think she did the right thing by stopping the situation and discussing it. You don't want to scare the child so much that if something were to happen they wouldn't feel comfortable coming to talk to you. "curiosity" between ages 2-5 are very normal...I just read a study done. You can google it if you want. It was very informative. We have to remember that these are children...very young children, and it is our responsibility to teach them right and wrong...not turn it over to CPS and let them handle the situation...YOU ARE THE PARENT!!
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sorry but if your 10 year old girl got pregnant i doubt it would be because she was a vitim. at ten the curiosity stage and exploring dosent occur unless its being overtly taught or displayed as ok by another person, child or adult and i have to say that lack of supervision, values morals, and parenting skills would lead to this. you are verry loud and oppinionated and i think that you are so narrow minded you could probably see through a keyhole with both eyes at once. you probably have no idea how CPS operates, welll i can tell you that they remove the child(ren) immediately and ask questions later and it can take a year to have the ghild placed back in the home, causing the child undue trauma if the events taking place were infact "normal" by thier definition. You probably call CPS alot and should loose thier number before you ruin anymore lives. If you are that concerned get a BADGE and work for them yourself and maybe you will change your perspective. Im all about protecting children dont get me wrong but you need to learn the difference between molestation and age appropriate experimentation. Are you mad at what i said? I dont care. People like you ake it hard for mothers like me!!
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BTW: hows YOUR laundry?
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ask your husband if he remembers when he was a kid acting like this there are things we can't explaint because we are woman probably is normal for boys to feel this way and I think your husband should talk to him he will understand better than we do. I have a 3 year old and I remember freaking out because my boy was touching his penis well he recently was not waring diapers and he loves to run around the house naked so he discover his penis and is totally normal.  I remember asking my husband and said is just normal.
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You began your entire argument with the statement, "You are insane!!" You have already passed judgment on someone you don't know, have never met, and know virtually nothing about. In a forum such as this one, it may reach more people and positively affect them by refraining from calling names or passing judgment on someone you don't even know. Regarding the topic of discussion, it seems that you are unaware that ALL children do have curiousity about their private parts. It is completely natural for them to touch themselves and wonder about how those parts work, etc. It is up to the parent at that point to educate that child and answer any questions he or she may have. It is appropriate to explain that those are private parts, only for the child, but that if they have questions about it they can talk to you (the parent) about anything. Taking a situation like this one and not even going to the other parent involved to discuss it and put a stop to it is just another overreaction that turns the whole situation into taboo & makes the child feel that the topic is wrong and shouldn't be discussed again. If this same child whose parent called CPS has a question or curiousity in the future about his/her genetalia or sex, do you think he/she will go to the parent again? I seriously doubt it because they would not want another huge ordeal, in which case you might find that child going to other sources to get answers - sounds a lot like that 10yr. old pregnant child you mentioned, huh? It's always best to talk to the child first, don't overreact, it pushes kids away and sends them to find their answers elsewhere.
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hi
my almost 4 year old son is always playing with his private part and he does it in front a mirror. he hides and do this, i don't know how to react!!  i know it's normal but i still don't know what to say to him.
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377012_tn?1283969035
there have been plenty of these things happen between the smaller children in my family....2 of their doctors said it was just curiosity!  i myself did some things when i was very, very young (kissing touching, )and after that it was over. i know first hand what melestation can do as myself and both of my sisters were victims of melestation......dont be too worried about it..it will subside !!
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377012_tn?1283969035
to everyone about cps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a five year old can not get a girl pregnant!!! unless puberty hits at 5 years old which is almost virtually impossible...i could see 10 years old because a lot of kids start to hit puberty at that age....WTF...........almost 80% of children go through the curiosity stage its just a fact of life.....i dont think there is a person out there who didnt go through that stage of life.......who in there right mind would teach a child things like that..someone who is very sick apparently and if emika64850 was that type of person why would she be asking for help online where almost everyone could see her post including doctors and medhelp personnel...if they thought something was up dont you think she would be informed of her misconduct from the personnel by NOW!!!!
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377012_tn?1283969035
Sexual Play
During this stage, children usually begin to show a lot of interest and curiosity about their own and other children's anatomy. Curiosity may lead to undressing and sexual play between boys and girls. Some children go through a stage of wanting to display their nakedness and of trying to catch their parents naked as well. Talking, scolding, teasing or punishing do little to discourage sexual curiosity, exploration or exhibitionism.

Important: Avoid making children feel guilty about early sexual feelings. These are natural and universal.


I JUST PULLED THIS FROM A WEBSITE ABOUT PARENTING!!!! IF YOU WOULD LIKE THE LINK PLEASE LEAVE ME A NOTE OR MESSAGE!!

BEST OF LUCK!!!
~jess~
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my 5 yr old daughter has been caught 3 times hiding with her 6 yr old female cousin with their shirts off hugging, possibly kissing.  They also admit to being on top of eachother with their shirts off.  It started as prince & princess game which turned into mom and dad.  They intentionally are hiding and speaking very softly with eachother.  Both girls say it is the other that started it.  Both have been told by their parents not to do this or play such games.  Recently we told the girls that they are not allowed to be alone and if this continues they will no longer see eachother.  I am completely in awe that a 5 yr old can have such cuiosity I now know i have much reading to do based on everyone's commments.  

The other challenge i face is that i somehow feel the other mother is assuming it is my daughter that is the cause of all this.  

The most recent occurance happened 2 days ago and I was the one that caught them this time.  I definitely feel calmer after reading everyone's comments.
Thanks  
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My son is 5yrs old, my husband and i just realized that my son watched an adult movie on netflix when i was taking a nap in our room! I should have taken remote away from him but i never would have thought he would watch those types of movies!!! The cover of the movies show man in women in sexy pj's, the videos ARE NOT porn, only rated R movies!!! Before all this about 1mth ago we took my son to my husbands cousins house where she has 2 boys ages 5 and 3. My son was playing with the boys when i noticed all their shorts were messy with shirts untucked i asked my son why his shorts were like that, he said cause the 5yr old was pulling down his pants and then they made it a game to pull eachothers pants down. Another time my brother in laws son and my son were watching a Disney movie when i walked in they looked scared i asked both of them what they were doing, my son quickly said his cousin tried to kiss him! They were seperated and talked to, but now hes already watched this movie and it does show body parts and man and women having sex!!!!!!! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot help but to be mad at my son, reading all the comments makes me feel a lil better but i dont know what to do next! Is my son already damaged im scared hes gonna start wanting to act on what hes watched! My son is very intellegent, he rarely gives me problems, he has manners, i just dont know why hes doing this! Please leave comments would like to know what a professtoinal thinks about my sons behavior!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????? My son has been talked to many times even before all these incidents that no one touchs his private parts! Even when his grandmother tried to take him a bath he told her that only i could bath him and he wanted to wait until i got there!! So hes very aware of private parts and that no one can touch him!!!!!!!
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1678068_tn?1304541642
Have you tried asking your son if anything has happened to him before? I was sexually abused by my neighbour when I was 5 and my parents asked me (in front of my entire family at dinner, very innopropriate!!) and I accidentally said so (was told by the offender that I mustn't tell etc.) it was good to get it out in the end though as he got charged and what not. 1 in 200 men in America have been sexually abused as a child. We can only hope your wee man hasn't but maybe it's worth a chat to him about it?
Best of luck,
Carrie
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This isn't a comment I am a mom that is concerned about something! I got a 4 year old boy and a 4 year old step daughter! Well my step daughter went back to her moms and a week later she calls and says that her daughter said that my son touched her down their. Well I ask the kids and they all say no we will get into trouble and now the mother is threating to take there father to court and take his rights! His daughter and my son fight but who doesn't fight with there sibilings? They tell on each other about everything and even if they open the door when they are changing they scream about it, so how am I to deal with this? She said she was red and irritated and refuses to take her to get checked to see if its true, but when we get her she complians about her private parts are sore but she is always red and irritataed down there so we put balmex on it and she is better a few hours later? My question is what am I to do about what is being said? She is saying he tried and mine are saying no! I'm confused, someone help me please!!!
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I would also like to ask a question my son is not even 2 yet and he goes and sees his bio father on a regular basis i recently caught my son playing with his private parts but not as a child would but like what a adult man does. i am very worried and have no idea what to do
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When I was 5 or 6, I French kissed my little 1 and 1/2 year old brother,  I was curious of how it felt like because, all the princesses in Disney movies French kissed their prince. It was slimy uncomfortable and lasted like 2 seconds. This was just pure curiousidy, and I never did anything like it to him since. I have always felt really ashamed like I stole my little brothers first kiss. Reading these doesn't make me feel much better but, I though I would help give perspective of what was going through their heads.
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Sorry thought, and curiosity were spelt wrong.
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I know this post is sort of old, but I think kids are curious - as a mom of 6 - ranging from 25 - 3, 4 boys & 2 girls - they are all different.  My oldest had a huge curiousity for himself, but always very modest around other kids (he would change in the bathroom if he had a sleepover etc...) my 2nd son, I caught "hiding" in the closet at about age 4 & 5 with a friends son - playing "show me yours and I'll show you mine" - I have boy/girl twins who are now 17 and my daughter would sneak up at night (about age 5) and turn on the tv to late night "cinamax" - her twin brother, on the other hand was grossed out when my husband and I even kissed and would never dream of stepping into the bathroom while i was in the shower to even pee (all of the other kids would come and go frequently) - my youngest son (5 in feb) is very curious about himself, and no longer showers with me because of an obsessive "staring" - i have seen him exploring with himself (and i turn the other way and don't mention it, other than to ask if everything is ok "down there") BUT - when he gets too curious for my comfort with my 2 1/2 year old daughter (wanting to watch her pee, or asking to wash her in the bath) I give him another task and tell him that girls are weird about privacy and he needs to give her some so she doesn't feel uncomfortable.  my 2 1/2 year old is obsessed with leaning to watch where her poop and pee come out while on the potty...this may seem weird to people too - but kids are curious, I believe we need to give them space to explore safely - but supervise them close enough to prevent harm to another (physically or emotionally).  I was a curious kid too - I remember being as young as 7 or 8 and "writing secret messages" on my friends' backs at sleepovers, by 11 or 12 I was so curious about my one friends breasts (she developed early, me not so much) - and I had a cousin (boy) about 4 years younger that I would sleep (with underwear) butt to butt and tickle eachothers feet while we fell asleep...also, maybe weird?  I am a pretty well rounded, professional mom - down to earth and pretty conservative with my dress and behavior - I was married before having a child, and dated my first boyfriend for 4 years before having sex...I do not think sexual curiousity leads to promiscuity, I don't think I am gay or even bisexual because my first curiosities were explored with the same gender - as an adult I do like sex, but always as a consenting adult - no weird or unusual fetishes.  
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Hello, my five year old son doesn't live with me due to me having a drink problem and me agreeing with social services that my mum could provide better care.I have been having supervised visits for over a year. However since not drinking a year ago I have relised that my reson for drinking was due to the tramatic childhood I have had.I was sexualy abused as a child and as a result was in dysfunctional relationships. However recently my son has been caught touching my three year old neice innapriopratly apparently kissing her vagina aswell. I'm shocked that social services are convinced that this must have been something he wittnessed while living with me I know this isn't true, I'm fighting to get him back with me and I'm lost for what I should do. I'm worried that something might be going on at my mums, I really feel like they are blaming me and I'm just so worried that I can't be there for my son. I'm his mother and I feel like I can't protect him has anyone got any suggestions please.
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Avatar_f_tn
We had a bbq with a bunch of friends and their kids.  My 3 year old daughter tells me that her and one of the 5 year old boys were playing doctor and she told him she had a boo boo in her pee pee.  (She had irritation down there from wiping incorrectly).   He told her to show him and stuck one of the doctor toys in it.  Now coming from a 3 year old, it may have just touched it.  Should I address this??!
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Avatar_n_tn
Personally, I would have to mention this to the parents of the little boy and provide for closer supervision in future when they "play".
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I think he's just extremely curious. I advise you to just keep a closer eye on them when they play together and hopefully he'll grow out of that stage. I really think once he's older and understands everything a little more, he'll get out of this 'awkward' stage.

Don't worry though, there's nothing you have to be afraid of, or go calling doctors for. In fact, when I was younger, I had 2 cousins that were the same age as me which was around 7ish? They were brother and sister, and the sister would always come up to me and tell me things like how her brother kept on showing her his 'lower regions'. But then she'd go and pressure me into doing things with her as well. I'd be slightly confused and curious, so I'd go along with it. But as once we noticed it was wrong we stopped and never ever mentioned it again. Ever. It's sort of like something you'd wish you could go back in time and prevent. But hey, it happens.

But now that I think about it, I was never sexually curious back then. But my two cousins obviously were. And they constantly would say that they saw their parents "lying on top of each other" or "having sex" and "eeew". So that may have lead to the curiosity?

That's another good point. Be VERY good at hiding your 'special time' from your children. If/When they catch you, it'll probably be the most scarring thing in their lives, and also get them to be more 'curious'.

I, thankfully, have never caught my parents having intercourse. And I love them for that.

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You should have done something about this the first time he touched your daughter, and you should have put him in counseling/therapy. If I were you I would NEVER allow him to be alone with his sister or any child. Now you need to get both of them help!. They need counseling and this situation should be investigated by cps. Your son should be tooken out of the home and put in a special therapy home.
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You should have done something about this the first time he touched your daughter, and you should have put him in counseling/therapy. If I were you I would NEVER allow him to be alone with his sister or any child. Now you need to get both of them help!. They need counseling and this situation should be investigated by cps. Your son should be tooken out of the home and put in a special therapy home.
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I totally agree with you!. These people that say this is normal are crazy!> I cannot believe how many people think that it is not a big deal. It really upsets me! I have a daughter who was touched by a 3 and 5 year old neighbor boy. I beat the crap out of their mother. This was before I was saved and was living for the lord. I very much regret fighting her and I should have called the law and cps instead. I counseled my daughter and prayed many times. She acts normal and is very well behaved, sweet and smart. There are no issues but she still remembers it and knows that they were wrong but It still breaks my heart and I still cry and pray to this day!
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3122331_tn?1342137072
Lol- 'saved by the lord'. Ok- going on JUST THAT, obviously you have things in your past that you are not proud of otherwise you wouldn't have had to be "saved" (i.e. "beating the crap out of your neighbor") and you were an adult that knew better. Now you have LITTLE KIDS that you are saying should be "tooken" (seriously, use spell check) out of the house for acting in a way that they do not know is innappropriate. You are an uninformed ADULT, and you are wanting to punish uninformed CHILDREN? Educate yourself. Set your religious beliefs and personal beliefs aside for a moment and do research, look at the facts, not what you BELIEVE is right. Any child professional that you will speak with, any article you will read on normal childhood behavior tells you that children being curious about their private areas is 100% to be expected. Acting out in a way that seems weird to adults is what kids do in any situation- sexual or not. How do you suppose any person in this world discovers that they are sexual beings? It begins somewhere... right?!? I am not saying that a child "humping his sister" is acceptable, and yes, maybe that parent should speak with their Dr. and get some statistical facts, but by no means does it mean they have failed as a parent or that their kid has something wrong with him to warrant removing him from the home. Seriously,if one child ask another to take her pants down and play "I'll show you mine if you show me yours", is the kid that took her pants down the "victim" or is she probably just as curious as the kid that asked her to take them down? Why else would she pull them down instead of saying "no" and telling her parent? Does it make you a bad parent because your kid didn't understand to say "no"? I can only hope for you that your child exibits some behavior at some point that is 100% normal and you see that it has no reflection on you as a parent but is simply a kid being a kid.

I initially came on this page because my four year old daughter is exibiting curiousity and I wanted to do research on how I as the adult should handle it. At first I was very "creeped out" and didn't know what to do with her. After reading many posts, many articles, speaking with other parents and professionals, I am seeing that it is the parents that instantly want to call CPS, that are the problem. As bothered as I was by the problem personally, I read these posts and see that yeah, feeling disturbed by our kids acting out in a sexual way is normal, but their behavior is also normal. I refuse to be ignorant like the parents on here that instantly shout out that a SMALL CHILD has a problem and needs to be taken out of their home. YOU are the problem. Educate yourself, then educate your children and finally- stay away from my children. I'd hate to think that someone may call CPS on me because my child acted in a normal way because she is curious.
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Avatar_m_tn
there is something seriously seriously wrong with you! This event happened 5 years ago in the first place! You don't call CPS on your own babies. Yes, babies that is what they are. You handle things with in your family, talk to your doctor and go from there. Complete and utter ignorance from people who do that. Not to mention the fact that no one knows what goes on in foster homes. You call CPS and they take those kids, and then those kids/babies get put in a home where a jealous 15 year old son sexually and physically abuses one or more of those 2 babies....yeah great idea! At least in their own home, with concerned, loving and definitely aware of parents, they will be getting the help they need! No wonder the system is so full of children that do not need to be there, with people like you making decisions!
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Avatar_f_tn
You are right on track!
Girls cannot get pregnant till the get their period, & if your daughter is having a period at 10 then you have a serrious problem. The youngest should be 12 otherwise their are hormonal issues. Maybe you should spend less time calling CPS on people & more time parenting. Take your early bloomer and get her checked out. I was 11 when I got mine & therapy were coserned even at that age.
To the original question...
You should always voice your concerns to a professional, because they can either help fix it or ease your mind. There is no harm in just asking.
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Avatar_f_tn
It sound like the step daughter has a yeast infection, which are not as uncommon as you'd think. The manifest a little different with that age, the skin gets irritated too due to the lack of hair to keep it more controlled. Take her to a pediatrician next time she comes. Also, don't worry about the legal action, no judge would take away rights based on a paranoid Mother's assumption of wrong doing.
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Avatar_f_tn
You have some serrious issues within... Perhaps you should pray on that.
Let professionals decide what is or isn't normal, not chemically imbalanced people like shandel.
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Avatar_f_tn
You're dumb, I feel sorry for your kids and you for thinking it's okay to hand off your problems to the "professionals!!!!" If that's who you think has the best interest for you're kids then why are you even bothering corrupting them.  Anyone who's not willing to discuss sex and body parts or basically just ANYTHING to their kids is setting them up for the worst.  It's really sad you think you're daughter's "acting normal" when she's probably just scared of you and can never live a normal life now because you let what should of been a learning milestone out to be the worst experience of her life.  Sexually confused children, are learning from childish role models and do deserve to know the truth.  It's sad to think of where she will finally learn about it, let's just all hope there's someone smart around!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Its totally normal, and most of what all of you have written on here IS NORMAL TOTALLY.   Talk about a bunch of worry warts, omg I have never heard so much stuff that omg your son is going to turn into a molester and rapist and have sexual disfunctions.
Good god ladies shut up, read a book on child sexuality and shut the heck up, get off the internet and sharing what is a personal family subject with strangers.  3/4s of which are completely illieterate or drunk by their spelling and phrases.  Jeesus.  There are books, there are pediatricans, and last but not least YOU can go to a child shrink and ask them also without taking the child and embarrassing him more.
THe best thing to do is play it down, and explain that its not appropriate to play with their "wanker" and that it can get dirty, or in my case we have a big dog I fear will chomp it off,  Seriously!   Also keep their underware on, and get their mind on something else.  Most often children do it more when they are bored and with severly lacking attention from parents and playing with other children your child will get bored and play with anything that feefs kinda good.
Now get a grip, keep it in your family, nothing is wrong with your children.  Geeshus.
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Avatar_m_tn
Please could you send me the link for this website.
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4216832_tn?1351196314
Hello kimaling.. i had to comment on ur post because it brought up a red flag with the kids in my house.. I have a 2 year old daughter she has not shown any signs of curiosity or anything yet, but she has a 4 yr old sister from her dads past relationship. I have caught her a couple of times checking her self out and kind of touching her private, I dont have her often she is usually going from her moms house to grandmas house and to our house. What has got me questioning her is there has been times where she has grabbed my boobs and tried to kiss me when i was changing her after a shower. I thought it was weird cuz it wasnt like a lovable kiss a kid gives their mom but more like romantic.Recently she surprised me because out of nowhere i was doing something and she comes and pokes me from behind i literraly felt her lil finger. she had never done that before she would just slap my butt or grab it.. So when u said to worry when the kids initiate something like that I'm worry because my daughter loves her sister and always follows her and one time i caought them lokked in my closet.. it really worries me. I can not talk to the mother because she takes everything so deffensive.. What can I do, if their is anything i should do...
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4707031_tn?1358205737
my situation is similar, except for i have 7 and 8 yr old boys and a 3 yr old daughter. it has been a year since i found out and was able to began watching more closely, blessed i was that my baby girl is the youngest of 6 and very intelligent even though she could not talk, was able to give me a full story on what was going on, of course i freaked out..... i blamed my 7 n 8 yr olds but more myself till its been a whole yr and im still so messed up about it that i jus came apon your story today. however i wish i would have done this type of search much earlier because you all have helped me remember that kids do experiment..... instead i've spent all this time feeling guilty and ashamed and had no one to talk to, i thought i failed my baby girl, i love her so much, i felt i was the worst... and not knowing what to do i got the wrong people involved and made more of a mess  
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Avatar_f_tn
Kids are curious at all ages. I think at age 7 I might worry but never call cps. I do understand how some people see it as someone inappropriately touched their child but you have to put yourself in your childs shoes and see it the way a child of whatever age sees and understands it.  I have a two yr old son and if he touched another child I can't get on to him cause he doesn't understand. Like he doesn't know what sex is. Duh! Just like a fiv year old. they dont really fully know and understand unless youR really going into full detail and teaching your child all about sex and stuff. (Which I don't recommend)  . And beating up someones mom cause their 3 or 5 yr old touched ur daughter cause they are to young to understand is very adult like. Let's teach our children violence instead of being an adult and talkin to the other parent about the situation that made u uncomfortable. Way to go! YouR teaching your child well. Ya thank god u found jesus cause u really need some guidance.
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Avatar_f_tn
Did you check her private to see if it was red or look like it had been violated?  You should have taken her to the doctor so they could have looked for bruises.  I would have went straight to that parents house.   3 years old or not your daughter knows what happens to her and you should always believe what she tells you. JMO
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Ok does any one care about how this effects the little girl??? Like really?!! Poor little boy? Wtf !  Hoping she doesn't remember her BROTHER humping her, it could harm her psychologically, no matter how young she is.. Make sure she's ok jeesh
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Avatar_f_tn
Ok does any one care about how this effects the little girl??? Like really?!! Poor little boy? Wtf !  Hoping she doesn't remember her BROTHER humping her, it could harm her psychologically, no matter how young she is.. Make sure she's ok jeesh
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5694898_tn?1372547442
its natural for anyone any age 2 do stuff like that when i have kids i wont make them do anything like that but if they explore they explore their not gonna be like that for ever i think it is very important for kids to xp that i am very realistic
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Avatar_f_tn
FYI -CPS will NOT always take the child first and ask questions later. That is NOT the case at all. My niece was molested by my sister's father-in-law. When my sister finally got the guts to report him to the authorities, the police got involved and they did their questioning of the child. CPS did not show up until a few days later. What you MUST do when CPS is involved is COOPERATE with them, answer questions truthfully and do NOT appear like you are hiding something, because if they suspect that you are hiding something or that you are not cooperating, then they can take your kid for 72 hours without much due process-- and THAT is a fact!  IF at the unfortunate event that CPS gets involved, you want to get that case resolved/closed ASAP or else, if it goes beyond 30 days, it WILL grow into a full-blown investigation and will get more complicated.  I have a friend who is a senior rep at CPS, and believe me, as much as possible, you want to avoid involving CPS if it is something that can be handled within the family, like keeping a closer eye on the child and doing some "investigative work" on how he came to learn of that "sexual" behavior. When my niece was interviewed by the authorities, they have a way to make kids talk. She told the authorities more about what her monster of a grandpa did to her, and she demonstrated them using dolls too, so in case your "personal investigation" makes you uneasy, and the boy actually mentions names, and the behavior persists, you may want to call in the authorities yourself, because if you tell the doctor, the doctor WILL call CPS on you-- and that is worse than you reporting it first yourself.  Doctors are required to contact CPS and report any alleged sexual abuse case, so talking to the doctor may not always be the best thing. It is ALWAYS hard when someone touches your child inappropriately. I know this because when my daughter was younger, an adult at her daycare (not the caregiver) touched her inappropriately, but as far as I could tell, my daughter said it happened only once. Thankfully, my daughter was very vocal and she always told me everything . I took her to the doctor right away. The doctor checked her, and when I mentioned what happened, the doctor reported it right away to CPS rep at the hospital without even asking us if it was ok. Of course, I was fine with reporting it, but because I did not get to report it first, CPS had to interview us and do a home check, etc. Up to now, my daughter has a record for a "history of abuse". That is why I took a $2000 PER MONTH pay cut and took the graveyard shift so I don't leave my kids with anyone else. Forget daycare. I can't trust everyone there. If it's not the caregiver themselves who have the potential to hurt my kids, it would be other kids. IF you can at all, try rearranging your lives, budgets and careers to allow you to care for your kids yourselves. Don't be "sponsors" of your kids' upbringings by working your butts off the whole day and spending hundreds if not thousands per month for daycare. Your kids are only little children for a little while. Before you know it, they are too big and too grown up to want to be around you. It only takes once for any one to rob your kid of their innocence. Besides, the time you spend with them in childhood will always be a special time. I am currently homeschooling both my kids. IT IS TOUGH to be working full time at night, caring for them during the day AND homeschooling, but it IS doable.  I know it is not for everyone, and at first, I did not think we could do it, but now that we are doing it, I would not every leave my kids on daycare again. Homeschooled kids are VERY self-confident, at least mine are, as well as the few others I have met. Why? because they don't get bullied by other kids in school. My kids also do NOT watch regular TV shows, we don't even have cable TV. They watch pre-approved movies (pre-watched by me or their dad) and they are personally supervised when using the computer. They are enjoying their time together and with their friends during the supervised playtimes with other children. At the park, my daughter has no problems making friends and rounding up other kids and telling them the rules of the game. Try spending more time with your kids. Not just being in the same room, but actually being there for them to converse with and even play with. Then you will be amazed when they look at you in wonder and ask: "Mamma, why do you know everything about us like it's magic?" It's because when you are there with them, you will learn to read your kids and their actions more accurately than any psychologists can. So many people off-load their kids' care to others so much and then blame others when things go wrong. I grew up in a family where all 4 of us sisters had a personal nanny assigned to us. My mom was a career woman and my Dad was a business man. They loved us, but hardly spent time with us. If any of you saw the movie "The Help", with the main character taking care of that young woman's daughter, that was similar to our situation.  Truthfully, if we adults want to have children, then we should at least try to care for them ourselves, not just off-load them to be cared for by someone else, then expect them to have the behavior we want them to have when we are not even around them enough to teach it? Our greatest wealth are our kids. Their innocence are very fragile. Guard their innocence with your life--even if it means less perks in life for you and not so fancy cars to drive for your partner. CPS should not have to interfere with our children if we do our part as parents well. Good luck.
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Avatar_m_tn
That just isn't true; they do not "take the kids first and ask later". I am shocked people still believe this. I am a family therapist student as well as a mother of three, both boys and girls. I say keep an eye during this stage and be very careful to watch for other signs. The behavior may be "normal" but is completely unacceptable, on that we all agree. Coloring on walls and having a go at shoplifting a candybar are "normal" but totally out of bounds, albeit this is a more serious situation. I think a counselor would be more helpful than a mere call to CPS. A counselor can offer sound suggestions and ease fears thereby, whereas CPS will merely write a report. No one loses their children due to an isolated, clothing intact, act of toddler-on-toddler "rubbing" (even though I would have also been VERY upset and rightfully so). Handle it, don't allow it, read up, listen, and watch. Listen to your gut instinct. Ultimately only you truly know the situation at ground level. Sounds like you are doing great, by the way!
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