sleeping with my daughter - HELP!

My daughter is 3 1/2 and has been sleeping with me basically since she was a baby. We tried several times with no long term success to get her sleeping in her room. We even bought her a big girl bed at 2 1/2 and made a huge deal over it and I ended up sleeping in her floor on a palet for 6  months!!! Me and my back finally gave up and put her back in the bed with me. i am 40 and now expecting my 2nd child in Jan and my doctor has told me I must get her out of my bed. I actually like sleeping with her so this is very hard on me too. This is going to be a major challenge to get her in her room sleeping alone but I know its probably best. My daughter is very strong willed and WILL NOT do the screaming crying routine...we tried that for months and it just wont work for her. It must be her idea and she must be comfortable with it. Sooo, does anyone have any creative ideas on how to trick my sweet little sleeping partner into her own room before little brother or sister gets here???

[Ashelen]

We co-slept with my daughter from the time she was about 2 months old until she was about 19 months...and the way we finally got her in her own bed was by taking the drop-side off of her drop-side crib and putting the open side right up against our bed....so she was contained and felt safe on three sides, but the open side was right up against our bed so she knew she could come to use if she wanted to. She never did. She's woken up a few times after a nightmare and crawled into bed with us, and she likes to crawl into bed and wake us up in the morning...but she thinks being able to have her "own space" right beside ours is so much fun and she looks forward to bed now. We're going to wait awhile to move her out of our room because we only have a 2 bedroom and we're welcoming a baby boy any day now so he's going to sleep int he nursery where he won't wake up my husband and daughter when I need to breastfeed...and hopefully by the time he's sleeping through the night she'll be ready for a little more separation and they can share the nursery until she gets a little older and we move.

You could always try that..putting her bed right up against yours so she feels safe and not alone but so that she also has her own space...and don't even try putting her in it at first. we just set it up and put all of her toys and blankies in there (she's about 21 months now) and she ended up moving into it on her own when she realized it was hers.


why does your doctor say you need to get her out of the bed because of the pregnancy? My daughter's a real mover/shaker at night but she never posed any threat to my belly because I always put a pillow against my belly. I must admit that I love co-sleeping too and I didn't like moving her out of our bed but I knew it was time...and I wanted her to get used to it before the baby got here. I also have to say that I really think it'll help to have her in our room, and the new baby in his own room, he won't know the difference...and we'll put his bassinet in our bedroom on the weekends so we can still have that bonding time..she won't feel replaced.

good luck..I know how hard it is to think of giving up your cuddle time with your little one, and it's especially hard if you're a mom like me who is always worried if you can't see or hear your little girl to know she's safe..even if she's in the next room....but even if she's still in your room, having her in her own bed gives you a lot more freedom and it starts to give her a sense of independence without making her feel shoved aside...so I hope it works for you.

[Super_sally888]

Hi,

I think this is a personal decision.  If you are still comfortable sleeping with your daughter, I'd say keep it up.

I have a friend.  he and his wife cosleep with their 3 children.  However, but the time the kids get to 5 or so, they naturally go to their own room.  What they do is they have 2 big mattresses in the master bedroom.  Plenty of room for everyone.  Mind you, we are in asia, where cosleeping is a lot more culturally accepted than in the west.

Two choices I see.  Make a big fuss and force her to sleep in her own room.  Or 2. go with the flow and continue doing what ever is working for you go with it.

My daughter and I co-sleep.  She is 16 months old.  I intend to continue sleeping with her as long as she wants.

[zazou]

Great to her that other Mums co-sleep! I get so many negative comments about co-sleeping. Do what you think is necessary. I have slept properly in around 18 months and my PPD has become better so I will slowly take my time and getr my daughter in her own bed.

[worriedmom_1208]

My baby was sleeping with me until she was 2 1/2 yrs old and even now she gets up in the early morning hours and gets in the bed with me..  She is 3 1/2 now. what I did was leave her light on at night and she has a t.v. in there so after a while she got confortable with it and I turn her light off but leave her t.v. on.  She don't stay up alnight and watch t.v. she actually falls asleep with 30 min to an hour later.  Sometime way before that because she is worn out by bed time and she just want to sleep.  What might help you is let her fall asleep in your bed and make sure she is good and sleep before you move her then take her to her bed.  She will get up in the middle of the night for  awhile, but eventually she will get the hang of it and sleep there all night long.  But you have to be consistant with her. Good luck