when / how to tell my son I'm not his biological father

[nicolasf]

Hi

I've got a wonderful son who's recently turned 3, I am not his biological father, I met his mother when he was 6 month old, we got married and I am in the process of adopting him: his biological father left as soon as he knew of the pregnancy, never had any interactions and gave up his parental rights, so the situation is pretty clear with that respect. However we always said we will tell him the truth and give him all the information he wants, now that he starts understanding things more and more, we wonder when / how is the best way to tell him this truth with minimum confusion for him ...

thanks in advance for any help

Nicolas

[specialmom]

I think he is a long way off from being able to understand this.  I wouldn't tell him until at least 8.  Young children are very vulnerable.  All he knows is you are dad and you are for that matter.  The bio stuff isn't too relavent here as bio dad gave up rights.  You can talk about being adopted and all- but I would not talk of a bio dad leaving him and all that stuff.  That is too much for little immature emotions.  Good for you for turning this bad situation into a family.  good luck.