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Is this okay?

I'm not a parent, I'm 18 and I just want to know if this is justified. I lost my virginity about a month ago to my long-term boyfriend...we used three different methods of birth control because I'm very responsible and wanted to be safe. I recently opened up to my mom about sex and told her what happened, mostly because I wanted to make sure I had her support. She responded by telling me she is ashamed and that I screwed up big time. She's punishing me for ”betraying her trust” by not allowing me to see my boyfriend or go to his house again. My dad is a total wimp who just takes her side. What should I do? I realize I still live in her house under her rules, but I am also an adult who made a mature decision and went about it safely. I really thought opening up to her would show her I trust her and value her input, but it bit me in the ***. Suggestions?
8 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
If the rules of the house where you live say that as long as you are under 21 or living in the home of your childhood you are not supposed to have sex, they say no sex.  I am sorry your mom did not react more calmly, but if you want to be able to have sex, it sounds like you have to move out.  You are mistaking preventing pregnancy and STDs with what her message was to you, which was that she did not want you to have sex at 18.  You say "I am also an adult who made a mature decision," but in your life, living as a dependent of your parents, you are not in an adult role.  If you want the adult label, you have to be paying for yourself and living under your own roof, I would guess.
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13167_tn?1327197724
If you're not supporting yourself,  it's hard to say that having sex as a single high schooler is "responsible and mature".  I went and read through your profile and see you've been accepted to college - and you're afraid you're pregnant.

This is exactly what makes moms react the way yours did.  You've worked SO HARD to get where you are,  and now it seems possible that it's all going to be gone.

I hope and pray you got your period since your last posting,  and I also hope you can understand your mom's reaction.

And an aside,  I can't imagine telling my mother I'd had sex unless there was a real problem I needed help with (pregnancy,  STD,  some kind of blackmail,  etc.)  Moms are your friends,  they're here to guide you and keep you from making life-ruining mistakes.

Getting pregnant right now would be a disaster.  That's what your mom is afraid of.
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Avatar_f_tn
agree and agree with two previous posters.  your dad's silence isn't a sign of "wimp", but one of deferring to his partner, your mother, the mother of his child.  you need to move out and begin having a grown up relationship with your parents.  you  need to keep private matters private.
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Avatar_f_tn
Have sex when you want with who ever you want DON'T LET ANY ONE tell you differently.

just not at your parents house. And no offense big mistake telling your mother. As long as she doesn't know about it your fine. Just use protection, avoid dangerous situations. Sex will not reck your life
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Avatar_f_tn
It was none of her business if it didn't happen at her house who cares what she thinks but if you get pregnant you better be ready to get a Job and make sure that man would stay around but I'm here if you need to talk just message me I'm 19 and ftm I'm 30 weeks and me and my fiancé live by ourselves but our parents support our decisions and we both have full time jobs
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5194883_tn?1365666258
wow. I guess because she was shocked to hear her little princess say she's not a virgin anymore. Give her a little time I guess. Lost mine when I was 21 and I had a pregnancy scare with my boyfriend last March. I was so scared but I never told my mom. I could be wrong and all test came up negative. Talk to your boyfriend and be sure that you'll be in good terms if anything does not go according to plan. I was lucky that my boyfriend was holding tight on to me when I told him that I might be pregnant. okay, I'm getting side tracked. good luck and hopefully things get better. keep us posted.
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5194883_tn?1365666258
hey! omg! looks like I would be in the same situation. I think my mom looked at my stuff she saw a pregnancy test in my most hidden bags. but she has not talked to me yet. what to do ? how are you and your mom now?
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1699033_tn?1405352675
Hi there...just commenting on your post regarding your mom.  If your mom did find a pregnancy test among your stuff and didn't say anything she is probably taking the "no news is good news" approach i.e., if you don't say anything then all must be well with the world.  I'm sure she doesn't have her head in the sand as far as sex goes so I'm sure she knows that at your age you are probably having it.  Deep down inside though I'm sure she is hoping that you are practicing safe sex and the test probably does have her a bit worried about that.  Take care.
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