Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Parenting (Expert Forum)
3yo with dev. and speech delay playing with bm
Answered by
Rebecca Resnik, PsyD - Parenting Instruction, Developmental Disabilities, Psychological Assessment
MindWell Clinical Psychology
Chantilly - VA
Questions in the Parenting Forum are being answered by doctors from MindWorks. Topics include: Behavioral Issues - Discipline, Emotional Development, Family Issues, Recreation, School Issues, Social Development
3yo with dev. and speech delay playing with bm
by alk3420, Dec 01, 2008 12:11PM
my daughter is going on 3 in jan. she is in early intervention for a speech and developmental delay. I was wondering if it is common for kids to play in their own bm. She has done this 30+ times since she was about 1 year old. I dont know what to do besides reprimand her for the behavior and stress to her that it is "ucky". She gets a shower then time out for it. I am concered about this for she can get sick and I am unsure if there is something else wrong besides just a "delay". please help!
Doctor's Answer
by Rebecca Resnik, PsyD, Dec 01, 2008 03:21PM
, Dec 01, 2008 03:21PMTo: alk3420
Hello,
unfortunately, little kids are often very happy to play with their feces. They take a while to develop the sense of revulsion that older children and adults experience. When a child has a developmental delay, they are often maturing at a slower rate, so some of the issues and activities of early childhood can linger longer than you had hoped.
As far as what to do, keep in mind that she may be doing this because she gets your undivided attention when she does. Giving her a shower may or may not be something she finds unpleasant, so you may be unwittingly keeping this behavior going through your attention and the excitement of getting a shower.
Time-outs can be effective for a child who is 3, but are best used sparingly and for short periods of time (1 minute should be plenty). The key to making time-outs effective is to have her go to time-out immediately after the behavior. Even a pause to clean her up can render a time-out ineffective because she won't associate it strongly with the unwanted behavior. You can make time-out work better by practicing time-out. You can practice by sending her to a time-out chair and reward her (perhaps with a tiny candy or sticker and lots of praise) so that when the time comes to do it for real, she will be most likely to comply.
I would probably want to handle this behavior as proactively as possible and use rewards to reinforce what you want to see her do (i.e. keep her hands out of her diaper/panties). If you keep a record, you'll probably find a pattern to when she has a bowel movement. Make sure that she is not alone during those times so she won't have an opportunity to get into her diaper. I have also heard of parents who wrap duct tape around the top of the diaper so the child can not pry it open to get in it.
You can also practice giving a command like 'hands on your belly!' if you see her starting to reach inside the diaper. Then give a reward when she puts her hands on her tummy. This works because she can not have her hands on her belly and in her diaper at the same time. You can also let her sit in her dirty diaper for periods of a minute or two, then reward her for every ten seconds (or longer as she gets better at it) that she keeps her hands out of the diaper. Every time she starts to move her hand into the diaper, say 'No! Hands off." then move her hands to her belly or put them at her sides. Reward with praise when her hands are where you want them.
By the way, 'developmental delay' is really a catch-all term. You can read my Medhelp article on Developmental Testing to learn more about this 'diagnosis.' This is a broad label that allows young children to get special services without having a label applied to them that might not fit in a few years as they develop and improve. If you are unsure about what is going on, ask your pediatrician for a referral to a clinical psychologist for an assessment.
Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik
Disclaimer: This Medhelp post is written for informational purposes only. It is never intended to replace face-to-face psychological or medical care. This Medhelp post is not intended to create a patient-clinician relationship, nor to give or rule-out a diagnosis.
unfortunately, little kids are often very happy to play with their feces. They take a while to develop the sense of revulsion that older children and adults experience. When a child has a developmental delay, they are often maturing at a slower rate, so some of the issues and activities of early childhood can linger longer than you had hoped.
As far as what to do, keep in mind that she may be doing this because she gets your undivided attention when she does. Giving her a shower may or may not be something she finds unpleasant, so you may be unwittingly keeping this behavior going through your attention and the excitement of getting a shower.
Time-outs can be effective for a child who is 3, but are best used sparingly and for short periods of time (1 minute should be plenty). The key to making time-outs effective is to have her go to time-out immediately after the behavior. Even a pause to clean her up can render a time-out ineffective because she won't associate it strongly with the unwanted behavior. You can make time-out work better by practicing time-out. You can practice by sending her to a time-out chair and reward her (perhaps with a tiny candy or sticker and lots of praise) so that when the time comes to do it for real, she will be most likely to comply.
I would probably want to handle this behavior as proactively as possible and use rewards to reinforce what you want to see her do (i.e. keep her hands out of her diaper/panties). If you keep a record, you'll probably find a pattern to when she has a bowel movement. Make sure that she is not alone during those times so she won't have an opportunity to get into her diaper. I have also heard of parents who wrap duct tape around the top of the diaper so the child can not pry it open to get in it.
You can also practice giving a command like 'hands on your belly!' if you see her starting to reach inside the diaper. Then give a reward when she puts her hands on her tummy. This works because she can not have her hands on her belly and in her diaper at the same time. You can also let her sit in her dirty diaper for periods of a minute or two, then reward her for every ten seconds (or longer as she gets better at it) that she keeps her hands out of the diaper. Every time she starts to move her hand into the diaper, say 'No! Hands off." then move her hands to her belly or put them at her sides. Reward with praise when her hands are where you want them.
By the way, 'developmental delay' is really a catch-all term. You can read my Medhelp article on Developmental Testing to learn more about this 'diagnosis.' This is a broad label that allows young children to get special services without having a label applied to them that might not fit in a few years as they develop and improve. If you are unsure about what is going on, ask your pediatrician for a referral to a clinical psychologist for an assessment.
Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik
Disclaimer: This Medhelp post is written for informational purposes only. It is never intended to replace face-to-face psychological or medical care. This Medhelp post is not intended to create a patient-clinician relationship, nor to give or rule-out a diagnosis.
