9 year old

[mommy2815]

I have a nine year old who is constantly lying to me about changing his underwear every morning. I would first tell him to dress for the day and remind him to change his underwear. I would then ask him if he put clean underwear on and his reply "yeah, yeah", well on laundry days I would only find two pairs of dirty underwear and five pairs of fresh clean ones on the top of the pile of his dirty clothes. I have had many discussions with him about the importance of good hygiene, but he continues to lie every day about changing his underwear. I have given him consequences, made charts, and nothing seems to work. What do I do?? Please help....

[Momdukes]

My brother suffered from a similar problem. His tidy whities were too small and he was embarrassed to talk to my mom and his dad wasn't in the picture. One day we were at the store and he simply demanded boxers . . . pairs much bigger than my mom and I thought necessary. But he was much happier after that. Has his father talked to him about his undie issues?

[Rebecca Resnik, PsyD]

Hello,
    I am sure this is frustrating for you. I wonder if he is having some sort of sensitivity to your detergent, fabric softener, or if he is very sensitive to the feeling of some pairs of underwear. I am guessing that maybe the dirty ones feel softer or less tight? If he is sensitive to perfumes in the laundry detergents, this might make him reluctant to put on the clean pairs. If he is sensitive to fabric textures, you may wish to let him pick out some new comfy underpants.

   As far as managing the behavior, a psychologist, counselor, or social worker can help you make an effective behavior plan. In the meantime, you can take more control over the situation and remove the dirty pair from the hamper each night.At his age, the social consequences for smelling bad can be unpleasant, so it might be in his best interest for you to take over for a while.

Best Wishes
Rebecca Resnik