Questions in the Parenting Forum are being answered by doctors from MindWorks. Topics include: Behavioral Issues - Discipline, Emotional Development, Family Issues, Recreation, School Issues, Social Development
My husband left me and our 5yr old boy in October last year. In february this year I gave birth to our second child - a girl. My son is stuggling with this difficult scenario...feeling that he won't see his daddy because he's getting older....I don't have a daddy anymore...he does see his dad every other weekend at present. I do try to talk about things with him but am aware that I don't want to plant any seeds that aren't already there. Due to the extent of betrayal throughout pregnancy and on-going hurt being caused by his father I find it hard to talk things through without getting upset myself, and I feel that my son recognises this and doesn't want to open out to me. I don't think he has the words to express how he is feeling. Compounding this is the arrival of new baby (which does actaully seem a positive thing to him) meaning that I have less time to focus on him, what he needs and how to help him. His behaviour is deteriorating significantly of late and his anger significantly increasing.
I need advice on how to focus in on the most important issues to help him through this really difficult time as he is also due to start school in august. I'm also trying to decipher what may be symptomatic of a 5 year old boy anyway or of the arrival of new sibling in normal circumstances
sounds like a very rough time for everyone. Answering children's questions about divorce is never easy, and you have it particularly tough given the circumstances and your son's age. Five year olds come up with many explanations to explain what has happened to them, generally centered around the divorce being their own fault. If you can obtain psychotherapy for yourself and your son, I strongly recommend it. Your son is telling you about his sadness and intense feelings, so he's letting you know he needs some help. If your ex spouse is a trustworthy, reliable parent, it would be great if he spend more time with your son. Every other weekend is unfortunately typical for dads, but that long a time between seeing each other places huge stress on the parent-child relationship.
If you are not in a position to seek therapy, I recommend two books: Difficult Questions Kids Ask and Are Afraid to Ask About Divorce by Meg F. Schneider and Joan Zuckerberg and Siblings without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Copyright 1994-2016 MedHelp International. All rights reserved.
MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.