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11 year old still having "accidents"
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11 year old still having "accidents"

My 11 year old daughter has had wetting accidents (day and night) since..well, forever.  When she was about 4, she had an Intravenous Pyelogram with no remarkable results. The test was done at my request as I was given the "she'll grow out of it" explanation, but I had a urethra enlargement as a child and my niece had kidney issues so I wanted to check for abnormalities.  I have taken her to physicals every year since and have brought up the wetting issue and have been told continuously that she will grow out of it or that she is just lazy and not listening to her body.  I even took her to a Chiropractor who promised the adjustments would make her feel the urge sooner. She was also on Desmopressin, but I'm not a big fan of giving my growing child hormones and it was extremely expensive and not covered by our insurance.
She is now 11.  Frequently, she will go down on her knee because the urge has suddenly "hit" and she feels like she can't hold it.  I have witnessed her quickly sit down and completely lose control of her bladder.  She also has issues with pooping (for lack of a better word).  She does not have a problem with constipation or diarrhea, but I believe it may be the same problem she has with urinating- I don't think she is feeling it until it's almost too late.
I'm hoping for some help here.  I am feeling helpless for her and myself.  The constant embarrassment for her, and laundry for me..plus this explanation of laziness that I find unacceptable.  
Please give me some guidance as far as what tests I should ask our doctor to run, or if I should take her to a specialist.
Thanks.
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