9 Month Old Won't Sleep Unless Nursed

[NellBell2]

My 9 month old son is having trouble learning to sleep on his own. He is completely healthy and on track developmentally. He is nursed 3 times a day (at night it's a free-for-all because we are so exhausted) and he's on solid foods.

He's extremely active, trying to keep up after his 2 1/2 year old brother. I've tried and tried to get him on a nap schedule. First, napping at 9 and then around 1 with a small evening nap (these are all times he is the most drowsy). Before this, I wore him in a wrap just so he would sleep. For the last 7 days we've put him down in the mornings at 9 and 1 (within half an hour or so) and he screams for a hour. Finally, today, I let him cry from about 9:45 to noon. When I got him from his crib I let him eat lunch and then nurse again. No progress with the naps.

At night, my husband does the bath routein around 6:30 and I nurse for about 30 minutes while the baby dozes and eats. Then, I put him down awake. He screams for about 50 minutes and then MIGHT sleep for 3-4 hours. Our house is loud and we've let him try to soothe (read: cry) himself back down but with no luck. Then, our 2 1/2 year old wakes up. Finally, I get the baby and just put him in bed. It's in my bed that I realize he's got even more of a problem. If my breast is not in his mouth he will wake up about every hour and a half to two hours. He's got 8 teeth, so when we're both half asleep it's painful.

Does anyone have any advice for any of this? People often ask if I've let him cry it out yet. Yes. For the last 7 days he's cried through all naps and cried himself to sleep but won't stay that way. I appreciate the fact that he is so persistent -it will be great later in life. For right now, my family is a pack of zombies. My husband and I refer to eachother as room-mates. The sad part is that he is depolying next month and I'm totally lost!

Thanks for making it this far!

Nellie

[Angelinthemorning]

Is there a chance is getting overstimulated.  I know this can happen a lot especially if like you said he's constantly trying to keep up with his older brother.
Also, I know they say put the baby down awake.  With my first though, I ended up having to let her fall asleep on the breast then gently move her to bed.  I would do a switch and stick the pacifier in her mouth.  I'm happy to say it didn't ruin her sleeping pattern now.  She's 2years old and after a short song and cuddle she lays down and falls asleep on her own, and sleeps 10hours without waking.  And we broke her of the pacifier at 15 months.  
With the nursing all night you must be exhausted.  With my dd, I would feed her food and then nurse her till she fell asleep.  Maybe the milk just isn't enough at night.
Since your husband is being deployed soon.  If you can find a few nights where your oldest can stay somewhere else and you have time off.  Don't give in...let the youngest cry it out.  
If everything medically is fine with him, he does just seem really stubborn.  How long are you planning to breastfeed?  If this doesn't "fix" itself now, you're going to be feeding bottles or sippy cups in the middle of the night.
I hope maybe something in this helped.  I wish you the best of luck resolving this...And that maybe you can get a few extra hours of sleep tonight!!!  

[brandy831]

you may find that your baby will make more progress if you take time to show him that you actually care rather than leaving him to scream on his own for more than 2 hours.  that is the only cue he has and it won't be long until he'll begin to detach from you emotionally.  you'd probably get more sleep if you took on a co-sleeping arrangement.  the benefit to your baby's emotionally well-being is also worth the crowded bed.  just take a moment and try to imagine how lonely and scared he must feel, all alone in his crib....crying for his mother, who doesn't seem to care that he needs her.