My 3 year old

[mindersmomof2]

Hi again. I have a very opinionated subject to talk about but here it goes.

My 3 year old daughter is very sick. Coughing non stop, runny nose, fever, and her ear hurts. So I took her to a doctor I usually don't see. He looked her over and said "I'm very worried about your daughter!" His face was red!!!! "How many packs a day does your daughter smoke?" I laughed and said "My daughter does not smoke!" He said "You think this is funny? This is not a joke, how much does she smoke?" I said "I, smoke a pack a day." He said "OK she smoke a 1/2 a pack a day." He said she has smokers cough!!!!!!! I said "I have been smoking for a year only and she has always had this cough!" He said "She is in here every month, same symptoms, when are you going to stop doing this!! I can't be your doctor, you need to find someone else!" He was sooooooooo mad and red!!! I started crying. I kept saying I understand, I know, but it's so hard. He kept writing notes in her file. He just kept saying "I can't be her doctor, she has smoker's cough" I said " Do you really need to say this in front of her? It's not her fault, look at how she looks right now." He said "Oh, she doesn't understand" I said "Yes she does, she thinks she is naughty, she knows something is going on between you and me right now." My 6 year old was just staring at him with her jaw dropped!!!! He told me I'm killing my daughter. I never smoke in the same room/car as them. But he grabbed her head hard and said "smell her, she smells like a heavy smoker!" He was so loud that when we left the room, all the nurses were staring at us. I know as soon as I turned that corner, they talked about us - patient confidentiality - not no more!!!

He made me feel like my daughter is on the brink of death, yet he did no tests, barely looked her over. He said "This girl needs closely watched" I felt like the lowest mom on earth!! I couldn't hold it back anymore!!! Was this right of him? I know I will hear lots of opinions, but I am ready for them all. Please let me know what you guys think, Thanks!!
  

[spencers_mom]

Wow regardless of his opinion, he should have never treated you like that!  1st off, YOU need to get a different dr. because YOU deserve better, not because he refuses to treat your daughter, hmmmm and note I said "refuses to treat your daughter"  whether or not he feels strongly about your smoking habit or not, he should have done something to help treat your daughter as she should have been his main concern.  I wonder...had you brought her in with a cut from a sharp object, would he have treated her or told you how incompetant of a mother you are for leaving her near such a thing.  It is one thing to caution parents that their behaviors are affecting their children but another entirely to ignore symptoms and treatment if its called for just because he felt like being above the rest of us humans and repremanding you!  This kind of behavior infuriates me.  People are worried enough, they don't need a physician's hatefulness added to it.  My suggestion is...GET ANOTHER DR. TO BEGIN WITH, and get yourself some help and resources to quit smoking gradually.  I have quit the habit for the past 12 years, and don't let me kid you, I never stop wanting a smoke but it is better all the way around for everyone (I was a 2 pack a day smoker for 20 years) so go online and check out sites that will help you, annouce to your friends and family that while you do not wish for badgering that you are going to try to gradually quit (this puts you on the record so you don't pick it up more quickly) and avoid stressful situations (easier said than done I know, maybe try walking when you get stressed if possible, which helps keep you from smoking and your waistline and health at the same time).

Smoking is like shooting up!  Everytime you take a drag is like shooting up.  IF you do a pack a day and take 10 drags from each smoke it is 100 hits per day!  That's a hard fix to ignore.  YOU can do it though if you tell yourself its what's best for you and yours.  I spent a year smoking a cigarette every couple of days and not telling myself I was going cold turkey (or I would panic and start up all over again).  Then finally one day I realized I could finally control the urge and could let it go even though I wanted one.  Hang in there and know that this guy could have handled himself more professionally!  Do what's best for you and move on!!!

Good luck!
Donna

[pcmom]

If you want honesty, here it is. Sometimes people have to treat you differently to get your attention. If he had acted like it wasn't a big deal you wouldn't be rethinking the decisions that have gotten where you are. When you said it's not her fault you're right it's not her fault but you should respect her body and stop smoking anywhere near her. You and anyone else should no longer smoke in your house or car ever. Not just when she is around. If you choose not to quit smoking fine but do it outside in the open air. My aunt who had never smoked recently passed away from lung cancer due to second hand smoke. It was horrible to watch her die.  Maybe if you can make those changes she can get her health back. But make no mistake you've probably already taken years off of her life not to mention the agony she has been living in.
Do the right thing and move on from this mistake for her and you! As for the doctor, you should be thankful he's an honest man. Maybe if you make some changes he would see her again.
Good luck

[mindersmomof2]

Thanks you guys for the advice. I really appreciate it. I do agree, that hearing this awful doctor say these things, it has gotten me to realize I need to quit!! I can't stop thinking about this, and that's good in a way. Yes, he should have treated my little sweetheart better, it's not fair for her, she thinks she did something wrong, poor baby. Again thank you all!!